it's sunday morning in the holy city of zefat. in another hour i am going to the funeral of a young soldier girl who was killed in thursday's bus accident. the arab driver plowed into a truck that was parked on the side of the road. apparently, the egged bus company gave him a warning recently, after another malfeasance, to get his act together or be fired. one other man around my age, was also killed. he worked in the local unemployment office and left behind five unmarried children and his wife. the town is in shock this week.
i went to the homeopath on friday and spilled my guts. she gave me something but didn't tell me it's name. i have had good results with her so i trust her totally. i went to dinner on friday night with the clan. i started feeling an extreme fatigue at the dinner table. it was a bit of a feat to walk home that night.
i woke up at about 11:00 a.m. on shabbat morning. i stared at the clock and went back to sleep. i could not get out of bed. i finally got up around 2:00 p.m. and drank a coffee. it made me nauseous. i tried to eat a sour green apple but i couldn't get it down. i went back to bed and tried to read the weekend magazine. my head was sore and i was a bit out of it.
i started to say my morning prayers at around 3:00 p.m. i finally got up and made kiddush at around 4:00 p.m. i had an avocado and some chumus on a whole wheat roll and went back to bed. i was feeling woozy and very disconnected. the next time i looked up at the clock it was 8:00 p.m. and then it was 9:00 p.m. i felt like i was on an LSD trip. time just kept moving on and i was not with the program. i finally got up to make havdallah about 9:30 p.m. the kids came home at about 10:00 p.m.
i held sahar for a moment but he was too heavy and i felt that i might drop him at any moment. i asked zvi to take out the garbage for me. i had forgotten that sometime during the day, i had retrieved a dead bird from cloey's dog bed. zvi looked at me and realized that i wasn't all there.
i watched 'american idol' but was i very uncomfortable. i started having excruciating leg pain. it has now gone to my arms and lower back. are we having fun yet? i'm suppposed to be making the shavuot spread today. gal started her job this morning and sahar is spending the day with his other grandmother and teenage aunt. my goals today were laundry, floors , cheesecake, and lasagna. it is extremely hot and i am going down to the cemetery and will probably bake down there. i cannot see myself meeting my goals today. i can't imagine walking to the corner but i must get up now. to be continued.....