Atonement

it's nearly 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just got home from work. i've been super busy lately with cooking holiday meals for the yeshiva. the boys are going on hiatus next week and i was given the time off, too. some of the boys are sticking close to 'home', so i volunteered to come in once a day to make one festive meal for them. i know, i am pathetic! i just felt so bad for the guys being left on their own to fend for themselves. i got to work around 9:00 a.m. this morning and there wasn't a student in sight. i took out last night's bulgar and rice leftovers and cooked some barley and carrots to add to it. i didn't make enough and some guys didn't get any. i have no clue who's here and who's there. i boiled up a large amount of eggs and mashed them up with fried onions. i didn't resort to mayonnaise. the produce hadn't yet arrived, so there were so salads. it was a real drag because i needed to make five meals and i couldn't get started without any veggies. i cooked for tomorrows' 2 seudahs before the fast of yom kippur. i put up a vat of prepared fish sticks but the oven was taking way too much time. i think it took 2 hours today. i was just about to hit town when the veggies arrived. i quickly peeled and hand grated carrots, squash, onions and potatoes to make a kugel. it also took over 2 hours to bake. i made a quick whole wheat dough without eggs, to make kreplach. i wrapped the ball up and refrigerated it while i continued to cook. next, i made a clear and plain chicken soup using wings. i intended to make kreplach to put in the soup. i then put up two chickens in a pot with onions and carrots. i didn't add garlic. i just added a pinch of paprika and lots of fresh parsley and dill. you are supposed to eat bland foods before the long yom kippur fast. i then made a pot of spicy red lentils for lunch. i made a huge pot of white rice for the meal before the fast and another huge pot of mashed potatoes for the morning meal. i had a bit of leftover pumpkin soup so i put it out for lunch with the lentils, kugel and fish sticks. everyone at the yeshiva is sick, including myself, so i handed out bowls of 'jewish penicillin' chicken soup to all the guys. i soon realized, that i hadn't really prepared supper for tonight. i think i actually, gave it out during lunch. i made a barley and veggie soup for the vegans for their last meal before the fast. i then fried up a bunch of hake fish. most people don't like this fish unless it's fried. i was getting exhausted and i didn't think i'd ever make it out of the kitchen. the army jet planes were zooming by all morning long. war is in the air. i was feeling quite nervous. i have been hearing the sounds of distant booms for days. the army is absolutely up to something. i was wanting to go home and sleep in my bomb shelter bedroom, all morning long. i was close to having an anxiety attack. one of the students was melodiously, going over some texts and i found myself feeling calmer and calmer. the noises of imminent war soon ended. i washed up all the pots and pans and put all the food away. i labelled everything and left instructions. i took a bit of soup home for myself for tomorrow. i wished everyone an easy fast and made my exit. another 7 hours on my feet. one of the 'boys' told me that i was a very special lady and that my head was on right. he also said that a lot of guys had stayed on because of me. once a jewish mother..... as i was leaving, i took out the ball of dough to see if i could easily roll it out. forget about it! it was a disaster so i threw it back into the freezer and quickly made a few noodles. then i left. so much for the kreplach. i am too tired to boil water for a cup of coffee. i spent the entire day, cooking, and i didn't even have one drink. i have been suffering from pains in my legs for days. my lower back also hurts. i have got to get myself back in shape one of these days. in the meantime, i must atone for all the terrible gossiping that i have been doing freely, lately. i don't know what's gotten into me at all.