A New Start

it is 11:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i haven't heard from the bank yet, so in the meantime, i hope that i am safe. i didn't get over to the bank yet, either, to see if the welfare check has arrived. if it hasn't come in, i will have to scramble to get over to the welfare office tomorrow morning very early. i have a 10:00 a.m. appointment with the dentist.

i have been bombarded with inquiries about rentals for the past few days. they all seem very promising. however, nothing has been finalized. a few young businessmen want the downstairs for a few months. as usual, i gave a pretty low rental price. i am not a shark. i am trying to survive. there are many places available, in the artist colony and old city. i find myself at a great disadvantage. i know that in august, people will rent anywhere. i can charge a considerable amount, by the night.

i am trying to get the downstairs rented until august. i don't want to bring in a lot of people. i don't want small children running around downstairs. i want quiet. i want civilized tenants. i refuse to suffer like i did last summer, at the mercy of a dememted and shady real estate agent. i am trying to stay positive. i am trying to rebuild my life. i am staying away from anyone who doesn't value me, as a person.

it is not easy being alone. however, i choose to be alone rather than be with people who do not respect and treat me in a loving manner. i am not speaking with a lot of people right now. i am keeping my life to myself. i am not ranting about it anymore. i am projecting confidence and well being. i am not coming off as desperate. the best revenge is to live well. i am here if anyone choses to come to see me. if they don't want to see me, they don't. it is their loss. they all need to see it that way.

i got a job offer to take care of a teenager with aspergers'. i worked with her last winter on a part time basis. i worked very hard. i was paid bubkis. i was then let go out of the blue. i am now being asked to let her move in with me. the pay is nominal. it is only a temporary situation. hopefully, she will be accepted into a group hostel in the near future. i am not doing this because i need to be a caregiver. i am not doing this because i can't stand to be alone. i am doing this because i do have the space and time to give to this job. i can use every shekel i get right now to be solvent. this time around, i asked for the money upfront. i will not chase after payment from anyone again. if the person can't come up with the cash, there is no deal. i refuse to be paid on a weekly basis. i have learned my lesson. naturally, the person was indignant. i couldn't care less. zelda is learning to protect zelda now. if i am not for myself now, then when????

i also have a a lady who wants to rent my upstairs in august. i haven't spoken to the upstairs sister yet. she returned last night without a word. her rental is over in another two weeks. we will see what transpires. i am doing what i can to financially succeed. so far, i haven't seen a penny. i will just hang in there and stay the course. renting, caregiving, dogsitting, you name it. zelda is available.