Rules Of Engagement

it is 1:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just moved a heavy wooden bed frame down the stairs, by myself. my back is 'kvetched'. i am trying to get the downstairs into a rental mode before pesach. i really should just sell the bottom half of the house with my chometz. i used to clean all three floors for pesach, but i just don't have that type of energy now.

i managed yesterday, to get the neighbors to help me 'schlepp' down a huge televsion set from the third floor to the bottom apartment. my 'tenant' upstairs, the daughter in law's sister, had locked the door with a skeleton key and gone out. i was a bit overwhelmed. the cable guy was due to come to install a new cable in my apartment.

my son came on saturday night to take out the cable box to his new apartment. the cable was listed on his bank account. he probably got a much better deal using this company's internet, telephone and television. i got a small deal, which allowed me to have cable television on two floors, for the price of one. i figured that if i do get holiday rentals, people might want cable televsion. let's hope!

i spent shabbat day with an elderly lady, whose family went out of town for a simcha. i walked to the old city first, to visit my friend. on friday night, i went to sleep at about 8:00 p.m. i got up at 6:00 a.m. i had some coffee, davened in the backyard, and enjoyed the warmth of the sun for a couple of hours. i made kiddush and had some grape juice, bread and tuna fish. by 10:00 a.m. i was antsy. i wanted company.

on my way to my friend's house, i stopped off to visit a lovely rebbeson, who is my age. unfortunately, she recently suffered a stroke and is in a wheelchair. it was nice to see her again. we spoke for about an hour and she went inside to daven. i went down to town. i then walked back up to canaan to have lunch with the 94 year old lady. i stayed with her until she fell asleep at 8:30 p.m.

it was eerie not knowing where the kids were for shabbat. they're not talking to me. i wasn't up to combing the neighborhood for their car. i really don't care where they are living right now. i'm sure they will be fine. a friend actually spotted them yesterday, and called to give me the 'heads up'. i wish she hadn't called. i spent the morning removing the remnants of their things from all the chest of drawers. what a waste of my precious time!

my big sister tells me that i musn't engage with them anymore. she told me to kick the sister out of my house and do nothing more for the sephardi family. she told me that my offering to store things for them, was actually my way of keeping them attached to me. i want to find boxes now and put all of their stuff into the outside shed. that way, they don't need to come inside to get their stuff, anymore.

truthfully, i really don't know what the rules of engagement are. someone from the clan, left a message to invite me to a birthday party for gal's nephew yesterday. he turned 1 years old. i had no idea where the party was taking place. i also, had no desire to attend. i had no desire to face the kids. i didn't even want to see my grandson. i want them all to know that i am on the outside now. they are not my family. i really don't have any family here except for my sister. i am just the exrich american landlady/babysitter to them. the kids have temporarily severed their relationship with me.

i don't feel my usual need to run over to the sister's house with a present today. i have no desire to see any of them. as my son was driving away from my house on saturday night with cartons of stuff, i asked for his help with the televsion. he turned me down flat. he solumnly told me, that he could no longer help me with things. as i left the house on shabbat day, i made sure to leave my key on the outside ledge for them, so that no one would be locked out. what a jerk!!

i have to get over to the post office soon so that the cable company can fax me a direct payment form for the bank. whoppee!! to be continued.........