Nothing Like An Old Fool

it is nearly 10:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat.  i just came back from the dental clinic in rosh pina.  i hired a driver to take me there because i was under pressure to get back as soon as possible.  the clan wanted to do a day trip today.  the plan was that i would get the two kids and watch them until the parents returned from eilat some time tonight.  anyway, i got to the clinic at 9:00 a.m. and waited to see the head technician.  he told me to come back on sunday.  it would take about 2 hours to fix it.  i actually got confused and was outside for twenty minutes, waiting for the driver an hour early.   i was just about to call him to find out where he was when i noticed that it was only 8:00 a.m.

the first technician said that the clasp on the other side was about to break, too.  that's $50 cab fare each way and $50 to fix each clasp.  what a racket!!!  anyway, i ran like a banshee into the street to catch a shared taxi back to zefat.  i didn't call the original driver back because i was so pressed for time.  i got a mouth full yesterday from the moroccan safta about my ruining their precious day trip before 2 of the clan kids go off to another city for school.  my having to go to the dentist first thing this morning, wasn't any concern for them.  it was just another instance of my screwing up.

the fact that i never made up with anyone to take the kids on thursday was of no consequence.  i was asked by my son before he went off to eilat, if i could pitch in and help with the kids in case i was needed.  i agreed to that.  nothing specific was set up.  i was called yesterday by my son to ask if i could take my grandson for the day and then have the two kids on thursday.  i was exhausted from the previous day's journey and hospital visits.  i didn't give him a definitive answer.

like a fool, i called the other grandma to set something up with her.  both the house phone and cellphone were shut off.  i spent the entire day trying to reach her.  she finally called me in the evening.  i explained that i had to get to the dentist to fix my bridge and that i would be back by noon.  that is when i got  the mouth full.  she had set it up with her daughter who hadn't set it up with me.  no one ever speaks directly to me.  it's been years of this.  i'm fed up with it.  my son calls me from work to ask if i can help the daughter -in -law  downstairs.  it doesn't occur to her to ask me directly.

i know i over react to these things. my buttons are pushed and i react angrily.  the other grandma and my zefat sister are one in the same.  they have the same mot is operandis.  they both are last minute people who get the job done causing me the most aggravation. they really know how to push the old buttons of mine.  just when i think i've moved on i find myself sliding years backward.  there is nothing like an old fool!

i need to get to the supermarket but there is no way to shlepp there with  with 2 kids.  i'll have to go down first thing in the morning.  i'm expected to make shabbat for the kids again.  and now i have to go to rosh pina on sunday morning.  and i'l have a 2 hour wait down there.  i'm the cancer survivor and the one running around with the brain tumor.  doesn't anyone care?????

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