Wednesday In Safed

it is 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat.  I just got home a little while ago.  I had some errands to do in town and got a late start.  I was thinking about blowing it off but I skipped my shower and hit the road.  it is quite cold right now and there isn't any hot water, anyway.  we need to heat the water now.  I paid my city tax and water bill.  I thought that I had dealt with all of this before the holidays, but apparently, I did not.

I went to the post office yesterday to pick up a registered letter.  it was a warning from the water company to pay my bill.  I had paid the bill in early October and there isn't any normal reason for them to have sent me the letter now.  I had to take a bus to get to the post office and it really ticked me off.  I get nervous every time I go to pick up registered mail.  I always imagine the worst scenario.

I went to my friend's medical clinic to give them a copy of his CT's results.  I didn't know if they had received it from the safed hospital.  I try to not leave anything to chance.  anyway, what's one more set of papers to file?  I also took the liberty of making an appointment with his oncologist so when they return from their trip to the states, they won't lose any more time.  sometimes, you just got to be proactive.

my friend used to send over food every week when I returned from my radiation treatments for two months.  they have also hosted me for Shabbat and holiday meals for years.  they are my extended family.  my friend's husband is like a surrogate grandfather to my kids.  they adore him.  he spoils them with candy and rides them around in his golf cart.  he also chauffer's me back and forth from their home and the supermarket all the time.  I would do anything for them.

I finished my stint at the yeshiva.  my hands are trashed and my fingers are calloused, infected and cut.  it is hard to bend my middle finger and pointer.  they are swollen.  I spoke with the regular cook and she admitted that it is definitely more work now.  I put in a total of 30 hours in those five days and felt a bit defeated.  when there were less students, I could do both meals in under 4 hours.  let's face it, peeling 5 pounds of potatoes is not easy.  washing out pots and pans three or four times a day is also not a picnic.  when I was the original cook at this yeshiva I did not have to do the washing up. to add to the arduous task, the sink blocked up and I had to spend the entire day picking out pieces of food from the drain.

I received my pay from the manager but I didn't think it was enough compensation for the amount of balagon I suffered.  I asked for an additional $60 and got it.  however, I went into one of the worst codependent behaviors of late.  I didn't think the yeshiva could afford the extra money and I felt that it was fault that it took so many hours to make 10 meals for 20 guys.  I earned about $182 dollars for the 5 day gig.  I received $6 an hour.  to put it into perspective, I worked for an entire hour to pay for my 10 minute taxi ride home.

I came home that night and fell asleep in the evening.  I was too tired emotionally and physically to get out of bed.  I didn't budge until the morning.  the dogs didn't get let out.  I heard the phone ringing but I couldn't do anything about it.  I thought about returning the extra money to the manager and apologizing.  I thought I had burnt my bridges with them.  I even wrote a letter to the regular cook apologizing for my lack of speed.  I couldn't call my R.A. coach because we are not on CoDa mode right now and we do not talk about our problems anymore.  we can only discuss the solution.  I called my best gal pal in the morning and she set me straight.  I was acting crazy.

I ran to the bank to pay my electric bill and bought some chicken with the rest of my pay.  when you got cash,  you fill the freezer.  I bought chicken wings and legs, cold cuts and franks.  maybe sometime soon, the kids might want to come over for a Shabbat meal.  anyway, the money is gone.  and I do not have a clue when i'll earn any more.  so far, I haven't managed to attract any students.  I am holding out with renters because I need my quiet.  I guess quiet is a high price to pay.

I was turned on to a blog written by a young rabbi with ALS.  he lives in California and is totally paralyzed.  he uses his eyes to type his blog.  it takes him all day long.  he is the most happy person and his eyes smile.  it truly puts things into perspective.  he has a purpose and is pursuing his mission.  we should all be pursuing our mission on earth and spreading light, too.