How To Proceed

it is 7:00 a.m.in the holy city of safed.  I had a friend remove the msn page on my computer and I lost most of my icons.  I had a major fit and so did she.  she is well versed in computer and I navigate with pictures.  I have been felling violated lately.  in just one week, I got a new wi fi modem from the phone company, a new cable box from the cable company and now a new page on my computer.  it's way too much change for this technological dinosaur.

I am pretty much coping with living alone these days and seeing the kids a couple of times a week.  I am still babysitting once in awhile but not all the time.  I have made new acquaintances at the local Sephardi synagogue and have become a part of that community.  I enjoy the Shabbat services and stay for the Kiddush.  I get to see my son and grandson on Saturday at the Kiddush.  my grandson comes over for half an hour. 

I didn't see them yesterday and figured that they went to a different synagogue nearer their house.  suddenly, I spotted my son but not my grandson.  he was busy playing outside with his buddies.  I felt the slightest bit slighted but it only lasted a moment.  it didn't fester.  he's getting older and less dependent.  that's a good thing.  I am living in the solution, to quote the N.A jargon.  I am beginning to isolate others' feelings from my own.  when people tell me their woes, it doesn't enter into my psyche.  they don't become my woes.

I spent the entire day with my friends in oncology last week.  the staff knows me there now.  I wanted to be a buffer between them.  my friend was very nervous and her blood pressure was rising.  her husband was being very upbeat.  he is in denial about his condition.  I played the part of the volunteer.  I made us cups of tea and handed out soup.  I found light reading material for us and sat with her husband and schmoozed about buying new household items.  I even sat next to him and listened to his words of scripture while my friend played games on her tablet.

I entered the doctor's office with them and played part medical liaison and part advocate.  I was exhausted the next day.  we stayed in town that day and had falafels and chips and went on to the clinic to get the paper work started.  they are travelling abroad for a few weeks and I will watch the house, collect the mail and feed the cats.  I am also subbing for a week at the yeshiva for the regular cook.  I will be busy for a while.

I am not happy with the N.A group at all.  from the beginning it has been my understanding that one must attend a minimum of 6 meetings before deciding that it isn't for me.  today will be my fifth meeting.  my dearest buddy has decided to quit.  I am going to go this morning with an open heart and mind.  I haven't bought the main book yet.  I have been receiving emails and phone calls form certain members who want to sponsor me.  it is burdensome.  I do not want to make this my life.

I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed watching the presidential debates and the Saturday night live parodies as well.  I am very pleased at the outcome and I hope that trump will help Israel.  I had to console my siblings who, like many of the country feel desolate.  I reminded them that trump had a wonderful effect on N.Y.C. when it was a bit of a wasteland.  he and mayor juliani brought it back to its glory; bringing jobs, tourism, investors and fighting crime.

I think that living on a mountain in Israel gives one a window on the world.  I think that I have a perspective on life that is not clouded by being political correct.  I can see through all of the rhetoric.  when one is fighting for his survival as a nation and a people on a daily basis, you do not get caught up on the little things.  I think that most Americans take their safety and physical security for granted.  we living in Israel, do not take anything for granted.  we never know what terrorist attack is waiting around the corner.

I truly believe that a woman losing the presidential campaign will not end in the downfall of women's rights.  America has survived worst historically, from the civil war, the great depression to 9/11.  I was a woman's libber back in the day.  I get it.  it will happen some day.  we had a strong female leader in golda meir, an American lady, many years ago who ran Israel with a mighty hand.  and to everyone who wants to leave America now because trump won the presidency, I say: come and live in Israel. and I end with G-d Bless America!