it is 7:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i woke up an hour ago feeling warm and toasty and pain free. i actually walked to the door effortlessly. my son and his 13 year old brother-in-law finally shovelled a path to the gate yesterday. the gate is finally open. cloey dog ran free. cookie dog is still house bound and refuses to leave the house. she has no shame at all in making in the hallway. in a way, she is living on borrowed time. we nearly lost her at rosh hashana. she seems like an old woman. she has that vacant look in her eyes.
grandson is happily playing with his lego on the floor. he came up at 6:00 a.m. he is pretty wild in the evening. both kids get really physical with me at night. it is freezing outside. i am thinking about going to the supermarket. that entails getting my son to drive me there. the pain has returned and once again i am in semi invalid mode. it seems to have travelled back to my hip. i took a pain pill last night before falling asleep. i simply couldn't get comfortable. i put the last of my medicated heat patches on my backside and hip area this morning.
my daughter-in-law's brother has a bar mitzvah in 3 weeks. i am expected to make around 200 chocolate tefillins. i did it a year ago before i got sick, for the other brother. i also walked half an hour in the middle of the night to the shul for his actual aliyah to the torah. as i said, that was all before i got sick. actually, i was already sick then. i had been more or less diagnosed and was waiting for my treatment. that was when walking was effortless. that was when i was still super lady. that was when i wasn't afraid of people or germs. that was when i still took my health for granted. that was before chemo and radiation.
i am now wondering, how in the world, will i be able to make it to the shul on shabbat. the thought of being in a large hall and greeting tons of people who knew me before i got sick, is way too much for me. i have also put on a ton of weight and have nothing to wear for the occasion. three weeks isn't enough time to shed those pounds, either. i haven't walked to that neighborhood in nearly a year. i haven't done much of walking at all.
i know this event has really nothing to do with me but i cannot get out of going. i cannot play the 'c' card anymore. i am scared about taking the pet scan in a couple of weeks. i am terrified about the outcome. i am still grappling with the idea of brain surgery, too. i am a mental and physical wreck. i am craving ice cream. i know that it is way too cold to even think about ice cream but i can't help it. perhaps, i'll buy some anyway.
i have to get to town next week to do a blood test so i guess, i can buy tons of chocolate, then.. i don't really think i have the stamina, but i can do it in shifts. i can make some every day until they are done. i don't know if i have the money either. i owe the electric company big time. i can't think about it now. we are in snow mode. we are on winter break except that no one is getting paid for the break. the city is shut down but the city cannot reimburse anyone for the shut down. the roads are closed but so what??
i want pancakes. i can buy a package of mix later. i only have rye flour and it is a bit heavy. no one wants to eat rye flour cake or pancakes. my cakes have been pretty nasty lately. i don't know how to make bread. it would be so nice to have fresh warm bread. perhaps the super will have cornmeal. i can make some corn bread or muffins. that's my aim for today. why aim for the stars.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
Trapped Inside
it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. we are recovering from a major snow storm. i can't get out of my courtyard. i have a 3 foot hardened snow drift and can't open my gate. the kids have been climbing over the wall. as, i am still suffering from hip and leg pain, i can't put much pressure on my leg or endure the snow. it is very depressing.
the town is still not functioning. the roads have been plowed but the streets are still covered in snow. the local supermarket is open but the schools are closed. i did sit in the sun yesterday and it felt great. the house is beyond cold in spite of the couple of heaters going 24/7. i am eating anything in sight. i finally got a hot shower yesterday. coming out wet and having to dress in front of a space heater in a freezing room, isn't that much fun.
the dogs won't go out. they pee and defecate in the hallway. i am constantly washing the floor. i can't get comfortable in bed. i toss and turn for hours. i just put on a heat patch that i had bought several years ago for my mom. i can't really feel the heat. the pain is constant and nagging. i know it could be worse. we lost all power on friday afternoon and spent the entire shabbat in the cold and dark.
i made shabbat food because the kids were not able to get to the clan for shabbat. i went out on thursday morning to stock up and buy what we needed for shabbat. when i got back from the store, i could hardly walk. the pain was worse than ever. i stopped off at the doctor to get a referral for a blood test. he reviewed my records and then he told me that his brother had also had a brain tumor and survived surgery. he then told me a horror story of how the poor guy developed phlebitis and caught a blood clot to the brain. i didn't understand the end of the story. i think the guy is a veggie now. the doctor's cheery message was if this doesn't get you something else will.
as the snow proceeded to come down on friday morning, i went into action. i baked a cake and made a pot of soup. i filled two thermoses with hot water because i was sure we would lose electricity. i took out some frozen chop meat but realized it would never defrost in this weather. we did lose power for a few hours. when it came back on i made some fish, rice and lentils and a pot of chicken , potatoes and barley. at the last minute i cooked up some franks. we lost power for good at 5:00 p.m.
i had just put all the food on the electric platter when the power went off. i lit a few tea lamps and made makeshift hot plates. i put candles all over the house. i made sure to put one in the bathrooms. we had hot food for supper. the house was freezing and dark. it was so bizarre. we all went off to sleep at around 7:00 p.m. my grandson slept with me in one of the freezing bedrooms. he actually, gave off a lot of body heat. we got up at 7:00 a.m. and had to start the day in the freezing house. i made luke warm hot chocolate with the water from the thermos.
i opened the door to see that the meter high snow drift was covering the stairs and courtyard. it was already about a foot from the front door. i started feeling panicky. i felt trapped. as the huge amounts of snow fell from the roof it made enormous pounding sounds. it sounded reminiscent of katushas. the kids went out to play in the snow. it was actually pleasant outside. it was hard to remember that it was the shabbat. my son jumped the gate and went off to shul.. he was looking forward to having some whiskey or something 'warm'.
my daughter-in-law took the kids to the neighbors. they had a wood burning furnace and lots of hot water. i couldn't think about making it through the snow. i was barely hobbling about as it was. she came back for the pathetic cold pot of chicken cholent and returned hours later with hot food. we ate the hot food and all went to sleep at 2:00 p.m. the power came back on at 3:00 p.m. i was too cold to get out of bed. we finally all resurfaced at around 5:00 p.m.
it is going to take a lot more time for all the icy snow to melt. it is much to hard to try and shovel now. the kids waited too long to deal with it. one neighbor actually had a shovel and everyone waited turns to use it. we are not really equipped for snow storms here in the holy land. the major roads are now open so trucks can bring in supplies as usual. i can truly say that my love affair with snow is way over. i don't care if i ever see any again. pix to be blogged soon.
the town is still not functioning. the roads have been plowed but the streets are still covered in snow. the local supermarket is open but the schools are closed. i did sit in the sun yesterday and it felt great. the house is beyond cold in spite of the couple of heaters going 24/7. i am eating anything in sight. i finally got a hot shower yesterday. coming out wet and having to dress in front of a space heater in a freezing room, isn't that much fun.
the dogs won't go out. they pee and defecate in the hallway. i am constantly washing the floor. i can't get comfortable in bed. i toss and turn for hours. i just put on a heat patch that i had bought several years ago for my mom. i can't really feel the heat. the pain is constant and nagging. i know it could be worse. we lost all power on friday afternoon and spent the entire shabbat in the cold and dark.
i made shabbat food because the kids were not able to get to the clan for shabbat. i went out on thursday morning to stock up and buy what we needed for shabbat. when i got back from the store, i could hardly walk. the pain was worse than ever. i stopped off at the doctor to get a referral for a blood test. he reviewed my records and then he told me that his brother had also had a brain tumor and survived surgery. he then told me a horror story of how the poor guy developed phlebitis and caught a blood clot to the brain. i didn't understand the end of the story. i think the guy is a veggie now. the doctor's cheery message was if this doesn't get you something else will.
as the snow proceeded to come down on friday morning, i went into action. i baked a cake and made a pot of soup. i filled two thermoses with hot water because i was sure we would lose electricity. i took out some frozen chop meat but realized it would never defrost in this weather. we did lose power for a few hours. when it came back on i made some fish, rice and lentils and a pot of chicken , potatoes and barley. at the last minute i cooked up some franks. we lost power for good at 5:00 p.m.
i had just put all the food on the electric platter when the power went off. i lit a few tea lamps and made makeshift hot plates. i put candles all over the house. i made sure to put one in the bathrooms. we had hot food for supper. the house was freezing and dark. it was so bizarre. we all went off to sleep at around 7:00 p.m. my grandson slept with me in one of the freezing bedrooms. he actually, gave off a lot of body heat. we got up at 7:00 a.m. and had to start the day in the freezing house. i made luke warm hot chocolate with the water from the thermos.
i opened the door to see that the meter high snow drift was covering the stairs and courtyard. it was already about a foot from the front door. i started feeling panicky. i felt trapped. as the huge amounts of snow fell from the roof it made enormous pounding sounds. it sounded reminiscent of katushas. the kids went out to play in the snow. it was actually pleasant outside. it was hard to remember that it was the shabbat. my son jumped the gate and went off to shul.. he was looking forward to having some whiskey or something 'warm'.
my daughter-in-law took the kids to the neighbors. they had a wood burning furnace and lots of hot water. i couldn't think about making it through the snow. i was barely hobbling about as it was. she came back for the pathetic cold pot of chicken cholent and returned hours later with hot food. we ate the hot food and all went to sleep at 2:00 p.m. the power came back on at 3:00 p.m. i was too cold to get out of bed. we finally all resurfaced at around 5:00 p.m.
it is going to take a lot more time for all the icy snow to melt. it is much to hard to try and shovel now. the kids waited too long to deal with it. one neighbor actually had a shovel and everyone waited turns to use it. we are not really equipped for snow storms here in the holy land. the major roads are now open so trucks can bring in supplies as usual. i can truly say that my love affair with snow is way over. i don't care if i ever see any again. pix to be blogged soon.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Baby It's Cold Inside
it is 7:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. it is sunny but quite cold. my house is already cold. it's probably warmer outside in the sum. i had to cancel my doctors appointments last week. while i was out with my grandson i developed something close to a sciatic nerve attack. i stood up after sitting for a couple of hours, while he played in a padded gym for tots. something wasn't right.
i had an enormous pain in my cheek butt and suddenly walking was painful. i managed to walk/limp over to my sister's apartment nearby. she was getting the house in order for a visit from her son and new daughter-in-law so we went downstairs to play. after pushing him for a while on a swing, i was desperate to get home and lie down.
i have been in bed since. it is too painful to walk. i haven't gotten dressed or washed. i am a mess. i did get out one more time with him for an hour. i took a cab to the padded gym and returned home in a taxi. i was in bad shape. the kids made shabbat meals this week. i only made rice, corn , cheesecake and a chocolate tea loaf. it doesn't hurt for me to stand in one place. lately though, lying down has been painful. i still haven't popped any pills. what's wrong with me?
i need to get over to the doctor for some paper work. i still haven't been reimbursed for the private driver who took me back home form the hospital in march. they are refusing to deal with me. i do not have the strength to deal with them, either. i should go over to the social worker today but i just can't. i had to cancel the brain surgeon and gyn/oncologist last week. i was in no shape to travel and i didn't have the money to pay for a driver. i feel like a loser.
i wrote to the homeopath but she really hasn't commented on my last set back. we have been blessed with quite a bit of rain lately. the garden is looking lovely. all the succulents have opened up again. maybe the oranges will grow a bit larger. they are the size of tangerines right now. i really should go downstairs and pick some today. it's a lovely and sunny day. i don't know why i'm still in pain. the weather has definitely, cleared up. it is however, quite cold.
my son had his 27th birthday this week and i was in no shape to celebrate. i couldn't get out to buy anything nor could i bake a cake. i simply gave his wife a hundred shekel note to buy him a small cake and some balloons. i watched the little kids while the big kids went out for a bit. it was hard for me. i was in pain and the kids were being too rough with me. i am a bit down. all i do is stuff my face all day. i'm afraid to get near a scale. i haven't dressed or washed in days. i'm a bit pathetic.
my son disconnected my maytag washing machine last week. he hooked up their little one and you need to be down on the ground to open it. my maytag wasn't really working well and my daughter-in-law had to suffer stains and dark lint on the baby clothes. now everything is bright and white. except for my things. i don't know how to use their washing machine and haven't had the time to learn how. i feel like, once again, my life is out of control.
i had an enormous pain in my cheek butt and suddenly walking was painful. i managed to walk/limp over to my sister's apartment nearby. she was getting the house in order for a visit from her son and new daughter-in-law so we went downstairs to play. after pushing him for a while on a swing, i was desperate to get home and lie down.
i have been in bed since. it is too painful to walk. i haven't gotten dressed or washed. i am a mess. i did get out one more time with him for an hour. i took a cab to the padded gym and returned home in a taxi. i was in bad shape. the kids made shabbat meals this week. i only made rice, corn , cheesecake and a chocolate tea loaf. it doesn't hurt for me to stand in one place. lately though, lying down has been painful. i still haven't popped any pills. what's wrong with me?
i need to get over to the doctor for some paper work. i still haven't been reimbursed for the private driver who took me back home form the hospital in march. they are refusing to deal with me. i do not have the strength to deal with them, either. i should go over to the social worker today but i just can't. i had to cancel the brain surgeon and gyn/oncologist last week. i was in no shape to travel and i didn't have the money to pay for a driver. i feel like a loser.
i wrote to the homeopath but she really hasn't commented on my last set back. we have been blessed with quite a bit of rain lately. the garden is looking lovely. all the succulents have opened up again. maybe the oranges will grow a bit larger. they are the size of tangerines right now. i really should go downstairs and pick some today. it's a lovely and sunny day. i don't know why i'm still in pain. the weather has definitely, cleared up. it is however, quite cold.
my son had his 27th birthday this week and i was in no shape to celebrate. i couldn't get out to buy anything nor could i bake a cake. i simply gave his wife a hundred shekel note to buy him a small cake and some balloons. i watched the little kids while the big kids went out for a bit. it was hard for me. i was in pain and the kids were being too rough with me. i am a bit down. all i do is stuff my face all day. i'm afraid to get near a scale. i haven't dressed or washed in days. i'm a bit pathetic.
my son disconnected my maytag washing machine last week. he hooked up their little one and you need to be down on the ground to open it. my maytag wasn't really working well and my daughter-in-law had to suffer stains and dark lint on the baby clothes. now everything is bright and white. except for my things. i don't know how to use their washing machine and haven't had the time to learn how. i feel like, once again, my life is out of control.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Just A Bit Tired
it is 8:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. just finished serving dinner and fried donuts to the kids. i had a late start this morning because i spent a lot of time blogging. chabad has a habit of starting late so i didn't rush to the city for the show. my grandson was anxious and kept telling me to get ready. he was right. when we got to the theater they were sold out. i think they had brought their entire school system to the show so we and another 25 kids were turned away.
it was cold this morning so i didn't want to stand outside too long. my grandson was more interested in buying cotton candy than getting into the show, so it worked out okay. he ate the spun wad of sugar on a stick and was a happy camper. we then walked into town and bought a couple of slices of pizza. we sat inside at a small table and ate our pizza like gentle folk. next, we went to a store and bought spider man and mickey mouse stickers.
we continued down the main street of town until we came to a candy shop. we bought a couple of jelly worms, and a couple of jelly butterflies. we stopped in the inexpensive ice cream shop but left empty handed. we then went to the small supermarket to buy some cooking cream and lettuce. i wanted to make a sauce for the sweet potato ravioli in my freezer. there wasn't any lettuce and the grandson went ballistic when i didn't buy him a huge banana punch milk. after a while, i bought him a small bag of chocolate milk and we made our way to the childrens' playground.
it was getting cold and i was feeling uncomfortable. he was having a great time. finally i asked him if he wanted to go back to the store to buy some potatoes for dinner. he was all for going back to the store. suddenly, he was whining and wanted me to pick him up and carry him. i guess he was suddenly very tired. just then a cab came my way and i jumped in with the kid. as soon as we got home he wanted to watch videos on the computer. he started playing with his stickers. he placed one pack on his sweater.
i started to make a soup. i had a big piece of pumpkin, a couple of carrots an onion and a couple of juicy tomatoes. i added some ravioli to the finished soup. it worked. i then made a few potato and sweet potato latkes. they were small but they came out. my daughter-in-law came home and i served her soup and latkes. the grandson had a couple of ravioli that i fished out of the soup. they went downstairs and i started to make fried donuts out of a yogurt and flour batter. i drizzled warm honey and then sprinkled cinnamon and coconut flakes on them. they were good, actually.
my son called and asked if i was making latkes. i told him that i had a pot of soup ready and asked him if he wanted a greek salad. i them made a large salad of chopped cucumbers, tomatoes, black olives and salty bulgarian cheese. he came home and had a few latkes, a bowl of soup and a huge salad. i made a round of hot chocolate for the kids and daughter-in-law and we lit the chanukiah and then everyone went downstairs. i did the dishes and came over to blog. i am extremely tired. i promised to take the kid to an activity tomorrow at a community center. we'll see what time i can get it together. there is one at 10:00 a.m. and another at 11:30 a.m. we'll just have to play it by ear.
it was cold this morning so i didn't want to stand outside too long. my grandson was more interested in buying cotton candy than getting into the show, so it worked out okay. he ate the spun wad of sugar on a stick and was a happy camper. we then walked into town and bought a couple of slices of pizza. we sat inside at a small table and ate our pizza like gentle folk. next, we went to a store and bought spider man and mickey mouse stickers.
we continued down the main street of town until we came to a candy shop. we bought a couple of jelly worms, and a couple of jelly butterflies. we stopped in the inexpensive ice cream shop but left empty handed. we then went to the small supermarket to buy some cooking cream and lettuce. i wanted to make a sauce for the sweet potato ravioli in my freezer. there wasn't any lettuce and the grandson went ballistic when i didn't buy him a huge banana punch milk. after a while, i bought him a small bag of chocolate milk and we made our way to the childrens' playground.
it was getting cold and i was feeling uncomfortable. he was having a great time. finally i asked him if he wanted to go back to the store to buy some potatoes for dinner. he was all for going back to the store. suddenly, he was whining and wanted me to pick him up and carry him. i guess he was suddenly very tired. just then a cab came my way and i jumped in with the kid. as soon as we got home he wanted to watch videos on the computer. he started playing with his stickers. he placed one pack on his sweater.
i started to make a soup. i had a big piece of pumpkin, a couple of carrots an onion and a couple of juicy tomatoes. i added some ravioli to the finished soup. it worked. i then made a few potato and sweet potato latkes. they were small but they came out. my daughter-in-law came home and i served her soup and latkes. the grandson had a couple of ravioli that i fished out of the soup. they went downstairs and i started to make fried donuts out of a yogurt and flour batter. i drizzled warm honey and then sprinkled cinnamon and coconut flakes on them. they were good, actually.
my son called and asked if i was making latkes. i told him that i had a pot of soup ready and asked him if he wanted a greek salad. i them made a large salad of chopped cucumbers, tomatoes, black olives and salty bulgarian cheese. he came home and had a few latkes, a bowl of soup and a huge salad. i made a round of hot chocolate for the kids and daughter-in-law and we lit the chanukiah and then everyone went downstairs. i did the dishes and came over to blog. i am extremely tired. i promised to take the kid to an activity tomorrow at a community center. we'll see what time i can get it together. there is one at 10:00 a.m. and another at 11:30 a.m. we'll just have to play it by ear.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Thanksgivucka Ends But Chanukah Goes On
it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of Zefat. today is the 4th day of Chanuka. the gans are on vacation so i have my grandson with me until around 4:00 p.m. i volunteered to take him to a theater in town for a chabad presentation at noon. although it is only a five minute walk form the bus stop, we will cab it to be safe. i haven't attempted to take him to town after a disastrous time with him a couple of years ago. i am a bit apprehensive to take him today.
my thanksgiving/chanukah meal went well. we were only seven at the table. in the past i usually had a large crowd, but i simply can't get one together anymore. this friend is diabetic, and this friend is working evenings, and this one's husband is out of town, and this one doesn't do well in a crowd, etc. this was a small gathering and a cozy one at that. i didn't have to open up the table and scramble for chairs. it was comfortable for each person.
i made sure to have a fun trivia quiz about both holidays and chocolate coins to sweeten the deal. some of the questions were sheer silliness but i wanted a light evening. it prevented a lull in the conversation. we didn't do the usual 'what do you have to be thankful for' round robbin this time. we were all thankful to be alive, warm, comfortable, and well fed. we were all thankful for a couple of hours of good cheer and food and fun company. it was my parents' anniversary and i was thankful for all they did for me and the fond holiday memories.
i had the grandson all day with me on thursday. i hadn't been asked, either. i spent a good couple of hours washing the floors and straightening up the house. since i had pneumonia, papers and toys and clothes as well as, dirt and dog hairs piled up all over the place. i found myself trying to do a pesach clean up. it was difficult to set the table and do the floors with a little 4 year old active boy running around and getting in my way. i was not a happy camper or grandma.
i had a few turkey napkins left from former years. i don't know what i'll do next year. the supply is gone. i still have my paper thanksgiving table cloth that i didn't use this year out of respect for chanukah. the food was pretty good, if i do say so myself. the applesauce which was frozen beforehand was just right. the cranberry sauce was thick and jellied. it wasn't too sweet but a bit tart. i actually prayed for it to taste good. the turkey wings and meatballs were good, not that i had many. the corn bread was a hit although i didn't go for it. no one really touched the cranberry muffins. perhaps it was overkill. the string beans and almonds was a welcomed side dish. the sage kosher 'sausage' rice dressing with chestnuts and cranberries was a big hit. i served the rest on shabbat and even the sephardi daughter-in-law liked it.
i struggled with making sweet potato latkes. they simply were not frying up. they kept on falling apart. i totally forgot how to make latkes. even after i had a long conversation with my sister the latke maven, i wasn't able to produce one latke. i finally threw the greasy mushy mess into a loaf pan and added a couple of eggs. voila! we had a tasty sweet potato kugel. i had almost the same results with the corn fritters. i persevered and made many very thin and greasy fritters. they were actually a hit.
i struggled at the last minute to make the pumpkin custard. i really didn't care anymore. i should have pureed it better because it baked into a very runny and very unappealing looking dish. i tossed most of it. even though it was topped off with a scoop of pareve shipped cream it was untouched. i think that's it with pumpkin desserts for me. my pumpkin cake was not much better received last year. fortunately, everyone was too full to complain or comment about the custard. also, a good friend arrived with a huge box of jelly donuts with fancy icing to boot. no one missed the pumpkin pie.
i was totally wiped out by the time the guests arrived. i had planned on making a green salad. it never happened. i hurriedly cut up some red and yellow peppers and threw cherry tomatoes in to a dish. i did make a mayonnaise dressing. i had wanted to make russian dressing but the kids had made off with my bottle of ketchup. i somehow relaxed during the meal. i ended up eating two enormous jelly donuts later that night after i did the clean up. it was basically washing the dishes. adults do not trash your house after a meal.
i woke up on friday and i was wasted. i had to visit the cemetery. it was the 5th anniversary of my mother's passing. i was planning on going with my sister but i had to leave early. my son couldn't go with me because he holds the custom of not visiting a cemetery during chanukah. i took a taxi and literally stayed for about 5 minutes. i cleaned both my parents' graves and had a good cry. i lit memorial candles, said a quick psalm and went to town. i had to exchange the bedroom slippers that i had bought for my granddaughter. i wasted over an hour in the process.
i went to a small grocery and bought goodies. i decided that in my mother's honor i would make a great shabbat. i splurged. i got home at noon. i quickly sprang into action as shabbat candle lighting was at 4:00 p.m. i made a cholent with beef and chicken and used barley and wheat. i fried up some chicken breasts. i had a problem again. i think using an electric burner just isn't the best for frying. i cooked up a small piece of niles perch fish in a spicy sephardi sauce. i served egg salad, corn salad, a green salad, guacamole, and two types of chumus. i asked my daughter-in-law to make the red cabbage salads as i was losing steam. i served the rice dressing and i made some oven fried white and sweet potatoes.
i made a cheesecake using instant butterscotch pudding instead of the vanilla kind. i had a banana loaf cake leftover from thanksgiving that got overshadowed by the donuts. i made raspberry jello with non dairy whipped cream. i bought almond sticks, watermelon seeds and pumpkin seeds. i even sprung for kedem grape juice. there was plenty of beer and a bottle of wine leftover from last shabbat. i got the chanukiah ready for lighting and i was ready to collapse.
the daughter-in-law went to shul and left the two kids with me. they were carrying on and the little one was crying and screaming until i screamed at her to shut up. i didn't get to shower. i had a cranberry and vodka cocktail and did the dishes. i didn't let the grandson sleep over. i needed to relax. i didn't fall asleep until almost 11:00 p.m. i was pretty wasted in the morning. but the day went well. i gave the kids chanuka cards and their mother played with them for a while. lunch was tasty and then everyone napped while i read psalms. shabbat ended at 5:00 p.m. and i went to bed and watched t.v. i watched a great movie although i was falling asleep during most of it.
the house is trashed. i am too tired too clean it. the heat wave is officially over and the weather has turned cold. it is windy and definitely feels like winter today. the grandson is anxious to get going. the chanukah show isn't until noon. i need a hot shower and some amphetamine. wish me luck.
my thanksgiving/chanukah meal went well. we were only seven at the table. in the past i usually had a large crowd, but i simply can't get one together anymore. this friend is diabetic, and this friend is working evenings, and this one's husband is out of town, and this one doesn't do well in a crowd, etc. this was a small gathering and a cozy one at that. i didn't have to open up the table and scramble for chairs. it was comfortable for each person.
i made sure to have a fun trivia quiz about both holidays and chocolate coins to sweeten the deal. some of the questions were sheer silliness but i wanted a light evening. it prevented a lull in the conversation. we didn't do the usual 'what do you have to be thankful for' round robbin this time. we were all thankful to be alive, warm, comfortable, and well fed. we were all thankful for a couple of hours of good cheer and food and fun company. it was my parents' anniversary and i was thankful for all they did for me and the fond holiday memories.
i had the grandson all day with me on thursday. i hadn't been asked, either. i spent a good couple of hours washing the floors and straightening up the house. since i had pneumonia, papers and toys and clothes as well as, dirt and dog hairs piled up all over the place. i found myself trying to do a pesach clean up. it was difficult to set the table and do the floors with a little 4 year old active boy running around and getting in my way. i was not a happy camper or grandma.
i had a few turkey napkins left from former years. i don't know what i'll do next year. the supply is gone. i still have my paper thanksgiving table cloth that i didn't use this year out of respect for chanukah. the food was pretty good, if i do say so myself. the applesauce which was frozen beforehand was just right. the cranberry sauce was thick and jellied. it wasn't too sweet but a bit tart. i actually prayed for it to taste good. the turkey wings and meatballs were good, not that i had many. the corn bread was a hit although i didn't go for it. no one really touched the cranberry muffins. perhaps it was overkill. the string beans and almonds was a welcomed side dish. the sage kosher 'sausage' rice dressing with chestnuts and cranberries was a big hit. i served the rest on shabbat and even the sephardi daughter-in-law liked it.
i struggled with making sweet potato latkes. they simply were not frying up. they kept on falling apart. i totally forgot how to make latkes. even after i had a long conversation with my sister the latke maven, i wasn't able to produce one latke. i finally threw the greasy mushy mess into a loaf pan and added a couple of eggs. voila! we had a tasty sweet potato kugel. i had almost the same results with the corn fritters. i persevered and made many very thin and greasy fritters. they were actually a hit.
i struggled at the last minute to make the pumpkin custard. i really didn't care anymore. i should have pureed it better because it baked into a very runny and very unappealing looking dish. i tossed most of it. even though it was topped off with a scoop of pareve shipped cream it was untouched. i think that's it with pumpkin desserts for me. my pumpkin cake was not much better received last year. fortunately, everyone was too full to complain or comment about the custard. also, a good friend arrived with a huge box of jelly donuts with fancy icing to boot. no one missed the pumpkin pie.
i was totally wiped out by the time the guests arrived. i had planned on making a green salad. it never happened. i hurriedly cut up some red and yellow peppers and threw cherry tomatoes in to a dish. i did make a mayonnaise dressing. i had wanted to make russian dressing but the kids had made off with my bottle of ketchup. i somehow relaxed during the meal. i ended up eating two enormous jelly donuts later that night after i did the clean up. it was basically washing the dishes. adults do not trash your house after a meal.
i woke up on friday and i was wasted. i had to visit the cemetery. it was the 5th anniversary of my mother's passing. i was planning on going with my sister but i had to leave early. my son couldn't go with me because he holds the custom of not visiting a cemetery during chanukah. i took a taxi and literally stayed for about 5 minutes. i cleaned both my parents' graves and had a good cry. i lit memorial candles, said a quick psalm and went to town. i had to exchange the bedroom slippers that i had bought for my granddaughter. i wasted over an hour in the process.
i went to a small grocery and bought goodies. i decided that in my mother's honor i would make a great shabbat. i splurged. i got home at noon. i quickly sprang into action as shabbat candle lighting was at 4:00 p.m. i made a cholent with beef and chicken and used barley and wheat. i fried up some chicken breasts. i had a problem again. i think using an electric burner just isn't the best for frying. i cooked up a small piece of niles perch fish in a spicy sephardi sauce. i served egg salad, corn salad, a green salad, guacamole, and two types of chumus. i asked my daughter-in-law to make the red cabbage salads as i was losing steam. i served the rice dressing and i made some oven fried white and sweet potatoes.
i made a cheesecake using instant butterscotch pudding instead of the vanilla kind. i had a banana loaf cake leftover from thanksgiving that got overshadowed by the donuts. i made raspberry jello with non dairy whipped cream. i bought almond sticks, watermelon seeds and pumpkin seeds. i even sprung for kedem grape juice. there was plenty of beer and a bottle of wine leftover from last shabbat. i got the chanukiah ready for lighting and i was ready to collapse.
the daughter-in-law went to shul and left the two kids with me. they were carrying on and the little one was crying and screaming until i screamed at her to shut up. i didn't get to shower. i had a cranberry and vodka cocktail and did the dishes. i didn't let the grandson sleep over. i needed to relax. i didn't fall asleep until almost 11:00 p.m. i was pretty wasted in the morning. but the day went well. i gave the kids chanuka cards and their mother played with them for a while. lunch was tasty and then everyone napped while i read psalms. shabbat ended at 5:00 p.m. and i went to bed and watched t.v. i watched a great movie although i was falling asleep during most of it.
the house is trashed. i am too tired too clean it. the heat wave is officially over and the weather has turned cold. it is windy and definitely feels like winter today. the grandson is anxious to get going. the chanukah show isn't until noon. i need a hot shower and some amphetamine. wish me luck.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Gobble Gobble Spin The Draidel
it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. tonight is the first night of chanukah. i don't know yet if the kids will be here or not. i can always fry up some latkes if they come around. i have yams, pumpkin and sweet potatoes to work with. i can also fry up some greek yogurt puff donuts in a blink of an eye. i bought both kids a chanukah package of sweets and i still have a reserve of chocolate lollies in the freezer. i really need to buy some cheap gifts, too.
i have to pick up my grandson from gan later on today. we usually go to the playground until the daughter-in-law picks us up. so far the weather has been fine. in fact, we are in the middle of a heatwave. they call it a sherav, a desert wind. no snow for us right now. santa is definitely not in the equation here. we'll just have to wait until we try on our new ugh boots this year.
my grandson visited me at 6:00 a.m. i managed to rest until he requested his morning hot chocolate. the dogs had already made in the hallway. i start each day by sponging down the hallway. i need to wash the floors but i am still a bit tired. if only i could drink some coffee. the smell still revulses me.
i finally took my remedy on sunday. for a moment i felt totally well. i felt my lungs opening up and i didn't feel sick. it was then followed by an overwhelming fatigue and i couldn't get out of bed. all i could do was sleep. the kids finally made a birthday party for the 2 year old granddaughter on thursday. i made a cheesecake and about 15 large chocolate lollies. the noise level was out of control. my head was splitting. i spent a lot of time talking to our new yorker shabbat guest, who was invited to the party. i then escaped to the upstairs.
i came down after the party was over for some cake. i started binging again and have hit the sugar and carbs pretty hard lately. i helped straighten up a bit and went back upstairs and watched some t.v. i spent the entire friday on my feet cooking shabbat meals. i started at 9:00 a.m. and finished at 4:00 p.m. our guest was a gluten free vegan. my daughter-in-law, being sephardi, had no clue how to cook for a vegetarian, never mind vegan. and you can forget about gluten free.
zelda doesn't ever back down from a culinary challenge. i made a gluten free egg less chocolate cake and a corn bread. the secret here being soy milk and vinegar. i made white rice, white potatoes, fresh corn, fried eggplant and a pumpkin soup. i made a cabbage salad without mayonnaise dressing. and of course, i made one with mayonnaise. i also made a vegetarian cholent with canned beans and chickpeas and potatoes for his lunch. i made the usual fish, chicken and meat cholent for the rest of us, as well as a regular coconut loaf cake. the kids tasted the egg less chocolate cake made with rice flour and spit it out. the guest loved it. in spite of the strange consistency, it tasted yummy and fudgy. thank goodness that he ate sugar and didn't know what night shades are!.
after shabbat, i was back in bed for a few days. my throat feels a bit scratchy and i seem to have a bit of heart burn. i don't know if this is from the remedy or a remnant of the pneumonia. maybe it's all the junk that i've been gorging on. who knows? i have been busy making a thanksgiving chanukah feast for tomorrow night. i have a non dairy cornbread, banana bread and a dozen cranberry muffins in the freezer. i even froze my homemade applesauce. i can use any leftover sauce to make a cake. these non american kids hate applesauce. they think it's baby food. my sister's american lot think of it as geriatric food. i think of it as a must serve traditional side dish for latkes.
i made up a pot of very spicy turkey wings and meatballs last night. i used up all of the leftover dry red wine in the fridge and added a packet of sweet chili sauce and some tomato paste. sugar. i also made up a batch of cranberry sauce. i used the tangerines from the back yard instead of orange juice. because i didn't water the garden, they are the size of cherry tomatoes. however, they do have a lot of juice but are a bit tart. i used tons of sugar and added apples as well as some dried cranberries. i had one heck of a headache last night and i'm not sure if it was from the msg in the chili sauce or the escessive amount of sugar in the cranberries.
i've already cooked up some pumpkin to make a baked custard. i don't feel like fussing with making a pie crust. i don't have any ramekins so i cut out individual aluminum muffin tins. they might be too small but how much dessert do we really need. i bought some pareve whip cream to top them off. for sure, that is asking for a headache. are we having fun yet!
i have leftover rice so i'm making a sage sausage dressing with kebobs. i have been on the web all week looking up recipes. i thought about making a rice pudding but in the end, i'm making a rice dressing. i bought lettuce, red cabbage and cherry tomatoes to make a salad. i also have avocado to make guacomole. i need something fried. i think people are expecting sweet potatoes too. i want to make corn fritters but i forgot to buy corn. the local store was out of cooked chestnuts. i'll buy the corn on my way to pick up my grandson. i know this is way too much food, but the beauty of it all, is that the next day is shabbat and i won't have to cook again.
Chanukah sameach and Happy thanksgiving!
i have to pick up my grandson from gan later on today. we usually go to the playground until the daughter-in-law picks us up. so far the weather has been fine. in fact, we are in the middle of a heatwave. they call it a sherav, a desert wind. no snow for us right now. santa is definitely not in the equation here. we'll just have to wait until we try on our new ugh boots this year.
my grandson visited me at 6:00 a.m. i managed to rest until he requested his morning hot chocolate. the dogs had already made in the hallway. i start each day by sponging down the hallway. i need to wash the floors but i am still a bit tired. if only i could drink some coffee. the smell still revulses me.
i finally took my remedy on sunday. for a moment i felt totally well. i felt my lungs opening up and i didn't feel sick. it was then followed by an overwhelming fatigue and i couldn't get out of bed. all i could do was sleep. the kids finally made a birthday party for the 2 year old granddaughter on thursday. i made a cheesecake and about 15 large chocolate lollies. the noise level was out of control. my head was splitting. i spent a lot of time talking to our new yorker shabbat guest, who was invited to the party. i then escaped to the upstairs.
i came down after the party was over for some cake. i started binging again and have hit the sugar and carbs pretty hard lately. i helped straighten up a bit and went back upstairs and watched some t.v. i spent the entire friday on my feet cooking shabbat meals. i started at 9:00 a.m. and finished at 4:00 p.m. our guest was a gluten free vegan. my daughter-in-law, being sephardi, had no clue how to cook for a vegetarian, never mind vegan. and you can forget about gluten free.
zelda doesn't ever back down from a culinary challenge. i made a gluten free egg less chocolate cake and a corn bread. the secret here being soy milk and vinegar. i made white rice, white potatoes, fresh corn, fried eggplant and a pumpkin soup. i made a cabbage salad without mayonnaise dressing. and of course, i made one with mayonnaise. i also made a vegetarian cholent with canned beans and chickpeas and potatoes for his lunch. i made the usual fish, chicken and meat cholent for the rest of us, as well as a regular coconut loaf cake. the kids tasted the egg less chocolate cake made with rice flour and spit it out. the guest loved it. in spite of the strange consistency, it tasted yummy and fudgy. thank goodness that he ate sugar and didn't know what night shades are!.
after shabbat, i was back in bed for a few days. my throat feels a bit scratchy and i seem to have a bit of heart burn. i don't know if this is from the remedy or a remnant of the pneumonia. maybe it's all the junk that i've been gorging on. who knows? i have been busy making a thanksgiving chanukah feast for tomorrow night. i have a non dairy cornbread, banana bread and a dozen cranberry muffins in the freezer. i even froze my homemade applesauce. i can use any leftover sauce to make a cake. these non american kids hate applesauce. they think it's baby food. my sister's american lot think of it as geriatric food. i think of it as a must serve traditional side dish for latkes.
i made up a pot of very spicy turkey wings and meatballs last night. i used up all of the leftover dry red wine in the fridge and added a packet of sweet chili sauce and some tomato paste. sugar. i also made up a batch of cranberry sauce. i used the tangerines from the back yard instead of orange juice. because i didn't water the garden, they are the size of cherry tomatoes. however, they do have a lot of juice but are a bit tart. i used tons of sugar and added apples as well as some dried cranberries. i had one heck of a headache last night and i'm not sure if it was from the msg in the chili sauce or the escessive amount of sugar in the cranberries.
i've already cooked up some pumpkin to make a baked custard. i don't feel like fussing with making a pie crust. i don't have any ramekins so i cut out individual aluminum muffin tins. they might be too small but how much dessert do we really need. i bought some pareve whip cream to top them off. for sure, that is asking for a headache. are we having fun yet!
i have leftover rice so i'm making a sage sausage dressing with kebobs. i have been on the web all week looking up recipes. i thought about making a rice pudding but in the end, i'm making a rice dressing. i bought lettuce, red cabbage and cherry tomatoes to make a salad. i also have avocado to make guacomole. i need something fried. i think people are expecting sweet potatoes too. i want to make corn fritters but i forgot to buy corn. the local store was out of cooked chestnuts. i'll buy the corn on my way to pick up my grandson. i know this is way too much food, but the beauty of it all, is that the next day is shabbat and i won't have to cook again.
Chanukah sameach and Happy thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Just A Perfect Day
it is 7:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i have an appointment to see my homeopath at noon. i am hoping to get a remedy to strengthen my immune system. i have never gone in for bee pollen or echinesia. i tend not to do well with herbal products. i feel strange going homeopathic after such a long time. i initially took a remedy last december to help with the radiation treatments.
i felt too polluted when i returned from the hospital to get a remedy. i was so traumatized from all the hospitalization, that i simply hid in my house for 9 months and tried to heal by osmosis. i see now that it was a huge mistake. i felt like i had let homeopathy down. i felt like a traitor. i realize now that i really hindered my recovery by not eating well and taking a remedy.
i recently was diagnosed with pneumonia. i took a round of two different antibiotics and stayed in bed for about two weeks. i lost my voice three times. i insisted on having long telephone conversations which were painful for me and for my friends who had to listen to me violently cough. i sounded like a fog horn. my voice would fade in and out of the conversation. by not being active, i put on a bunch of weight when i finally started eating. this is not good. i didn't feel as sick as i imagined i would with pneumonia, but i was very depressed. at first, i couldn't do much but sleep. i didn't drink liquids, take vitamin c and garlic, or gargle with salt. i was very passive. i felt defeated. i ate way too much sugar. i read that dark chocolate was good so i over did it. i had bought a block of cheap chocolate to make lollies for chanukah but i managed to eat it all during my convalescence.
i didn't see the kids much but i did do a couple of babysitting stints at night. i was feeling almost well on thursday. the kids asked if i could make shabbat meals for them. my daughter-in-law made shabbat the week before. i went to the store all by myself. it was the first time that i left the house in weeks. i spent a small fortune on shabbat treats and drinks. i cleaned the entire house. i did the floors. i had friends coming from efrat for the night so i made up the bedrooms. i even baked a chocolate cake.
we made a barbecue and a couple of friends came over to join us. my daughter-in-law went out with a gal pal. the boys did a karaoke performance for us. we were all pretty silly and loose. i hadn't seen my efrat friends in nearly two years. it was a good night. we gabbed until the wee hours of the morning. i got most of the meal done early. my daughter-in-law came down with a strong throat virus and was down for the count. i kept the kids with me so she could sleep.
by saturday she was in bad shape. at least, at night she was able to eat. in the morning she couldn't swallow. she couldn't do much of anything. my grandson slept with me on friday might. he woke up at 6:00 a.m. and was ready for chocolate milk and cake. my granddaughter came up shortly after with a diaper in hand. my son sent her up to her grandmother to change her poopy diaper. talk about your chutzpa! i kept the kids with me until shabbat was over.
yesterday my throat felt scratchy and sore. i stayed in bed. my son called to ask me to pick up my grandson from kindergarten. my daughter-in-law ended up driving me to pick up the kids form their perspective gans. they stayed with me until my son came home from work. i bathed them together in the tub and fed them. the house is now completely trashed but i am in no shape to clean it. i had a strange dream about moving back to town. it was so dramatic. i can't imagine leaving my house and neighborhood at this point in time. at least it will be something to discuss with the homeopath. they really like dreams.
i have to go to tel aviv tomorrow for the brain MRI and to see the gyn/oncologist. i want to cancel. i am very tired. i can't imagine travelling so far. i don't have the energy to call to reschedule the appointments. i still have not been reimbursed for the taxi rides from march. my medical carrier is definitely playing games with me. i simply, do not have the money to take a driver tomorrow. i guess i have to gird my loins and just do it or else, cancel in the morning. pneumonia is a pretty good excuse.
i got an email form one of the yeshiva students that i knew while i was cooking there. he is now in jerusalem and sounds like he is doing well. this young man was quite a character in his 'youth'. he has the tattoos all over his arms and legs to testify to it. still, he was one of my favorite guys. we sparred a bit but i definitely felt him. we only went head to toe once, and i didn't back down. he reminds me a lot of myself.
i recently heard that lou reed had died. he was one of my favorite artists and songwriters. he was also a jew. he lived to be 71. that's pretty amazing for someone who was so self destructive as himself. i read that in later years he did tia chi . i pray that he rests in peace. once again, i am humbled that i have survived my past and recent illness. praise the Lord!!!
i felt too polluted when i returned from the hospital to get a remedy. i was so traumatized from all the hospitalization, that i simply hid in my house for 9 months and tried to heal by osmosis. i see now that it was a huge mistake. i felt like i had let homeopathy down. i felt like a traitor. i realize now that i really hindered my recovery by not eating well and taking a remedy.
i recently was diagnosed with pneumonia. i took a round of two different antibiotics and stayed in bed for about two weeks. i lost my voice three times. i insisted on having long telephone conversations which were painful for me and for my friends who had to listen to me violently cough. i sounded like a fog horn. my voice would fade in and out of the conversation. by not being active, i put on a bunch of weight when i finally started eating. this is not good. i didn't feel as sick as i imagined i would with pneumonia, but i was very depressed. at first, i couldn't do much but sleep. i didn't drink liquids, take vitamin c and garlic, or gargle with salt. i was very passive. i felt defeated. i ate way too much sugar. i read that dark chocolate was good so i over did it. i had bought a block of cheap chocolate to make lollies for chanukah but i managed to eat it all during my convalescence.
i didn't see the kids much but i did do a couple of babysitting stints at night. i was feeling almost well on thursday. the kids asked if i could make shabbat meals for them. my daughter-in-law made shabbat the week before. i went to the store all by myself. it was the first time that i left the house in weeks. i spent a small fortune on shabbat treats and drinks. i cleaned the entire house. i did the floors. i had friends coming from efrat for the night so i made up the bedrooms. i even baked a chocolate cake.
we made a barbecue and a couple of friends came over to join us. my daughter-in-law went out with a gal pal. the boys did a karaoke performance for us. we were all pretty silly and loose. i hadn't seen my efrat friends in nearly two years. it was a good night. we gabbed until the wee hours of the morning. i got most of the meal done early. my daughter-in-law came down with a strong throat virus and was down for the count. i kept the kids with me so she could sleep.
by saturday she was in bad shape. at least, at night she was able to eat. in the morning she couldn't swallow. she couldn't do much of anything. my grandson slept with me on friday might. he woke up at 6:00 a.m. and was ready for chocolate milk and cake. my granddaughter came up shortly after with a diaper in hand. my son sent her up to her grandmother to change her poopy diaper. talk about your chutzpa! i kept the kids with me until shabbat was over.
yesterday my throat felt scratchy and sore. i stayed in bed. my son called to ask me to pick up my grandson from kindergarten. my daughter-in-law ended up driving me to pick up the kids form their perspective gans. they stayed with me until my son came home from work. i bathed them together in the tub and fed them. the house is now completely trashed but i am in no shape to clean it. i had a strange dream about moving back to town. it was so dramatic. i can't imagine leaving my house and neighborhood at this point in time. at least it will be something to discuss with the homeopath. they really like dreams.
i have to go to tel aviv tomorrow for the brain MRI and to see the gyn/oncologist. i want to cancel. i am very tired. i can't imagine travelling so far. i don't have the energy to call to reschedule the appointments. i still have not been reimbursed for the taxi rides from march. my medical carrier is definitely playing games with me. i simply, do not have the money to take a driver tomorrow. i guess i have to gird my loins and just do it or else, cancel in the morning. pneumonia is a pretty good excuse.
i got an email form one of the yeshiva students that i knew while i was cooking there. he is now in jerusalem and sounds like he is doing well. this young man was quite a character in his 'youth'. he has the tattoos all over his arms and legs to testify to it. still, he was one of my favorite guys. we sparred a bit but i definitely felt him. we only went head to toe once, and i didn't back down. he reminds me a lot of myself.
i recently heard that lou reed had died. he was one of my favorite artists and songwriters. he was also a jew. he lived to be 71. that's pretty amazing for someone who was so self destructive as himself. i read that in later years he did tia chi . i pray that he rests in peace. once again, i am humbled that i have survived my past and recent illness. praise the Lord!!!
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