All By Myself

it is nearly 9:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat.  I am all alone this evening.  I actually spent the entire day alone.  the Sephardi grandmother picked up the kids today from gan.  I was given the day off by the daughter-in-law.  I guess she thought that I was upset last night or just totally overwhelmed.  they don't get that their kids miss them.  I do not understand modern parenting or non parenting, as it may.  it really bothers me that the big kids spend so little time with their little kids and that they don't seem to miss them.

I grew up in a time where the mom was always home.  you came back for lunch and she would have tuna salad with a smiley face made up of carrots and raisins and red pepper.  my parents never took a vacation with out their kids.  I actually was 18 years old the first time my parents stayed away all night.  my father came home at 5:00 p.m. and we would all have our supper.  my mother wasn't out shopping all night and my dad wasn't out at the baseball games.  parents once stayed home with their kids.

I worked long hours when my son was growing up and he was left to his own devices for most of the afternoon.  I did provide him with a car service and plenty of cash to buy pizza or falafel and a pass to the local pool.  nevertheless, I wasn't home to make him tuna faces but I never went shopping without him.  I didn't have any outside help with my son, either.  I will admit that I was already in my thirties when I became a mom.   it never occurred to me to go away for a couple of days without him.

I had a late start today but I wasn't under any pressure of a time restraint to pick up the kids today.  I was able to clean up the house and straighten out the living room.  I even washed the kitchen and front hall and got rid of all the dirty dishes.  it was freezing today and exceptionally windy.  it sounded like a hurricane.  we had a bit of rain but mostly it was dark and grey.  I didn't get out to the supermarket until 4:00 p.m.  I found it hard to focus.  I bought veggies for Shabbat and a few drinks.  I couldn't really visualize what I planned to make for tomorrow's lunch and I was limited with cash. 

I ended up writing a couple of checks.  it was a bit risky but what the heck!  I bought eggs, cornmeal, lettuce,  Greek cheese and black olives.  I came back from the supermarket with a cab.  I was too tired and cold to schlepp with the shopping cart.  I made myself a cucumber and tomato salad with a probiotic yogurt.  it was yummy.  I then made a banana bread and a corn bread.  both were new recipes that I found on line.  both used butter and were quite different from how I usually make them.  I will make the bread pudding tomorrow morning.  I sure hope that my guests don't have eggs for breakfast because I think that i'll be making poached eggs in tomato sauce as well as a Greek salad.

I feel like I should be making some type of soup but I think that it will be enough food without it.   I also keep thinking about making tuna patties, too.  I think the shakshuka and cornbread with a greek salad will be fine.  and we still have the bread pudding and banana cake with the coffee.  I would have preferred making a meat meal but the guests preferred a dairy one.  I didn't feel like making fish.  I thought about baked potatoes but I think it is overkill at this point.  I bought an orange juice  drink so I think we are set.  my girlfriend has gum problems and I know it is hard for her to chew her food.  I think that she will be able to manage with this menu.  I will shred the salad and cheese.

I bought a bottle of sparkling pomegranate wine but I think i'll save it for thanksgiving.  my son had his eyes on it last Shabbat.  it was on sale for $5.  I can get another one, I guess.  if I have the time tomorrow morning, i'll try to buy a soft cream cheese spread.  I already used up 2 bars of butter.  I bought a blue cheese.  perhaps it goes with corn bread.  we will see.  I am truly tired and cold.  I am too tired to take a hot shower tonight.  there's always tomorrow morning.  I will get an early start and if I'm inspired i'll make another dish.