To Catch A Rat

it is 9:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat.  i am wiped out.  i was relatively pain free yesterday during the day.  i called a local repair guy because the 'maytag' washing mahcine kept shorting out the electricity.  it kept happening before the rinse cycle.  i have been paying through the nose for years to keep this machine alive.

i had two referrals from my sister and close gal pal for repair guys.  i couldn't find the number for a real maytag repair service.  parts are very expensive here.  i somehow knew, that the rat was the cause of my problem.  i called the guy who my girlfriend recommended.  he was suppossed to come over at 10:00 a.m.   i tried doing a batch of laundry before he came.  it worked without any problems.  i did another batch on another cycle and it seemed fine.  i called the guy to cancel.

i gathered up all of my laundry and threw in the mother of all loads.  before it even got to rinse cycle,  all of the electricity blew.  the water didn't drain and i was left with a huge amount of soaking wet sheets.  i somehow, managed to get it all out of the machine.  it left a small flood all over the laundry room and kitchen area.  i called the repairman back and he came right over.  he seemed to be able to navigate a maytag washer.  it wasn't as 'mystical' as the anglo repairman had led me to believe for years.

i was shocked to see what was inside the machine.  tons of rat droppings, assorted socks and panties, and a lot of doritos.  apparently, the rat stole a bag of doritos out of the daughter-in-laws' hand bag.  he or she,  apparently, is also, into socks.  i was disgusted.  thank goodness,  the rat didn't do serious damage.  it did shake up some wires.  no fancy over priced imported part was needed.  i paid the man for his time and found out that he was also, an electrician.

i asked him to replace the outside garden lights.  i had bought new fixtures a couple of years ago.  it isn't easy to find repair guys to do little jobs.  electricians here are all so 'dear'.  it took the guy quite a while to finish.  he had to climb up and down from his ladder a lot.  in the middle of this, he got an emergency call to come to the local school.  he did return a little bit later to finish the job.  unfortunately, the special pencil thin halagon bulb that came with the fixture, was broken.   we have only one functioning outside light now.  i have to go to town to get another one and then i have to get my son to replace the bulb.  so small feat!

there wasn't enough light in the laundry room for the the repair guy to work.  i enlisted him to take a fluorescent bulb out of a fixture in the t.v. room and replace it in the fixture in the laundry room.   i have been nagging my son for the past two years, to buy another fluorescent bulb for the laundry room.  again, no small feat.  at first the bulb shorted out the electricity.  it needed new starters.  i reached into the drawer where i had put the starters years ago.  i had also nagged my son to put in new starters.  it still shorted out.  i spent the morning running up and down the steps to turn on the electricity.

the repair guy played around with the fixture until it was working.  that is how i found out that he was also an electrician.  anyhow, i spent the entire day doing laundry.  to be exact, i worked for about 8 hours.  i hung it all outside in the sun.  i still have a bunch to take down.  it was too cold at night to finish.  i can't move today.  my back started burning in the evening.  i have had these pains for a month.  i took a pain pill at 800 p.m.  i was finally comfortable and fell asleep.  my son woke me up to help catch the rat.  it was now in my grandson's bedroom.

i brought down the pincher and she went into hunting mode.  i went through all of the toys, bedding, and clothes closets, looking for the rat.  he had gone back to the laundry room.  at one point, the dog had him cornered.  he made a mad dash for the washing machine but was temporarily, blocked off by a wooden board.  he then climbed up the wall and hid behind a clothes closet.

in the meanwhile, i cleaned out an empty closet, that was covered in droppings.  my son was beside himself.  he was mad at the dog for having had the rat elude her.  he was mad at me for cleaning rat droppings and accused me of not being more involved.  my back was inflamed and it was midnight and i was tired.  the daughter-in-law got back from work and brought home a pizza.  we were all starving.  the pizza was awful.  we all felt horrible.

apparently, the supermarket where she works, is going under.  she hasn't been paid in a while.  they were liquidating the merchandise last night.  she and another gal went there to collect their wages.  my son was in a rage.  he wanted her to take money from the cash register.  i had to explain to him that it was considered theft and that she could be jailed.  luckily, she is more practical than my son.  he is a royal pain in the neck.  his living here is making me crazy.  i do love being with the grandkids.

a little while ago, he woke me up by looking through my closets for cookies.  who has cookies?  i have fish, chicken, and string beans in the freezer.  there are no cookies here.  i am not a cookie person.  i eat yogurt, whole wheat rolls and eggs.  i like cottage cheese and cherries. i sometimes like a piece of cake.  i never indulge in margarine.  i have enough stomach pain without going in that direction.

i asked my son to help me trash this enormous mattress that was standing in front of the empty closet in the laundry room.  guess what?  he wasn't interested in doing it just right now.  the laundry room looks like a tornado hit it.  you need to minimize the boxes and clutter in order to catch a rat.  you need to put all food stuffs inside the closet.  you need to keep the counters free of food stuffs.  you need to shut all the closet doors.  you need to grow up!