Are We Having Fun?

it is 8:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. today is the first day of the month of adar. it is the month of simcha. purim is in another couple of weeks. we are traditionally, suppossed to increase our joy each day of the month. i was invited to a ladies' gathering this morning for the occassion. i also, thought about going to the seniors' center. for sure, they are having a party.

instead, i am at home brewing about my recent electric bill. we received an outrageous bill for nearly 1000 dollars. i am on a fixed stipend of about 600 dollars a month. i also got a whopping telephone bill for about 150 dollars. i still have an outstanding 200 dollar water bill and i owe the dentist 2000 dollars for a partial plate. i am feeling really pressured and scared.

i spent the morning yesterday on the phone with my daughter in law and her mother. they were on the phone with the electric company. they had me running outside to read the meter, in the freezing cold. then i was instructed to conduct a meter test. yes, i had to turn off all of the electricity for a half an hour, and then run back ouside to see if the meter had moved.

neither my daughter in law, nor her mother believed that the bill was correct. they both said that we could not have used that much electrcity. i checked the inside meter, that was installed for the downstairs usage, and it indeed, seems like the kids used almost 600 dollars worth of electricity. no one will accept this calculation. they would rather believe that i cannot read a simple meter. they would rather believe that it is all my fault for over using the hot water heater for them.

the kids have not been giving me money lately because they are in debt from their store. i simply, cannot afford to pay for their water and electrcity usage. they are putting the entire burden on my shoulders. they refuse to cop to their part in these bills. the irony of it all, is that i don't heat my house except when they come for shabbat meals. i spend a fortune, also, heating up the water for their showers. i sit here all crawled up under my comforter with the dogs and hardly ever shower. i still have to pay an enormous amount of money.

yesterday, my son threatened, once again, to move out. he had the audacity to accuse me of trying to pass the buck onto them. i should get off my behind, put on a silly wig, and go to a rosh chodesh party, now. i know that getting depressed will not help anything. i cannot afford to throw in the towel right now. i do not want to take out another bank loan, either. perhaps the kids will get the message when the electricity is turned off. they are getting away with murder and i am feeling helpless, as usual.

i went out a litle while ago to look for the dogs. cloey the fat dog, was 'perched' dangerously, on the edge of a very high and narrow wall. she was barking at a cat until i came over. the cat ran away and cloey couldn't maneuver her way around the wall back into the garden. i tried to squeeze her through the metal fence. she actually, got stuck. i was in a panick. the dog seemed to be hyperventilating. i had visions of calling the fire department. they charge a fortune here for coming. it is not free. the last thing i needed was another bill that i cannot afford to pay.

somehow, the dog managed to get through to the other side of the fence. i climbed onto the wall and scooped her up by her neck collar. i was afraid that she might strangle during my rescue attempt. luckily, i got her out of danger and back into the house, alive. we were definately, both traumatized for a while. i am so sick of having to deal with pet issues.

the sun came out so i decided to do the laundry. it suddenly got warm. my nerves are pretty frazzled. i went into the garden, and picked up all the rotting fruit that was strewn all over the grass. i completely forgot that it is customary to refrain from laundry and other mundane activities on rosh chodesh. i am very much out of the loop these days. i did intend to go to the womens' party until i got caught up with retrieving the darn dog.

the kids want to do a joint purim seudah this year. they want to include a few young couples, a few little children and gal's sisters. are we having fun yet? that means, that my buddies won't want to come and i will get stuck preparing most of the food. i will have to put the dogs out onto the porch area and they will bark all day long. i am planning on getting very drunk. i am not a happy camper.