Too Darn Hot Corona 2020

it is 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  it is unbearably hot outside.  the house has warmed up, too.  i have been sleeping for most of the day.  i cannot function in this heat.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m. and i just took them out again, now.  we didn't go far.  they couldn't deal with the heat, either.  i pretty much ate way too much yesterday.  i started my nightly fast at 5:00 p.m.  i haven't had too much to eat today because of the heat.  i have been drinking water throughout the day.

i wanted to do a supermarket run but i am not going back out in this heat until late tonight.  the Sephardi parents are spending Shabbat in the hospital.  the grandpa had another 'episode' and is under observation in the neurological department.  the adult kids will have to fend for themselves.  one of the married sisters will be cooking for them.  they will have to buy challah tomorrow.  she might just bake a cake for them.  they have the option to stay downstairs if they like. it might be cooler than their home.

i am feeling pretty dreadful.  i do not fare well in the heat.  wearing a mask is torturous.  i have had a slight headache all day.  my dental problem is less dire but i still need to see a dentist.  i am just finishing up two rounds of antibiotics.  it is still sore; but not throbbing badly.  i haven't blogged in days.  i have been too tired.

i went over to my friends on Tuesday.  it was a festival of sorts.  there usually is a pilgrimage to meron and an all night event.   hundreds of thousands of people travel from all over the country to pray at the grave of Rabbi shimon bar yochai.  they light fires all over the country and play music.  this year the festival was cancelled and the roads were blocked.  we usually have an overflow of visitors during this time.

we decided to do a modest barbecue.  i brought wings and hot dogs and they had chicken and hamburgers.  my friend's husband doesn't know the first thing about barbecuing.  he did manage to build a good enough fire but i ended up cooking everything.  my friend played music on her Yamaha key board and we drank some wine.  later on; a motorcade parade led by chabad; drove through the neighborhood.  for years; the children marched through the streets chanting psalms.  they always ended up at the local high school for a magic show and raffle.  i took my grandkids on this march with me for a few years.

at night they always had the motorcade, and a show and raffle at the local outside basketball court.  they always ended the night with a giant fire.  this year fires were banned.  it didn't stop the masses of radical ultra orthodox in Jerusalem and bnai brak.  i think some kids lit fires up the street from me.  i stayed inside.  for years i went to watch these fires and i went to meron.  those days are gone for me.  i stopped doing crowds way before the rona.

my kids were hoping to come up to safed for Shabbat but decided to wait until the Sephardi grandfather is back home.  i was excited about seeing the children but i am very relieved that i don't have to clean the house.  it is pretty neat but the floors need a good scrubbing.  the less i have to move, the better.

Feeling Normal

it is 10:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i just broke my 14 hour nightly fast and had French toast.  the Sephardi grandma gave me leftover challah rolls last nght.  i had told her that i make toast with them.  most Sephardim do not eat leftovers.  the rolls were a bit underdone and one was actually, raw.   i can freeze them now and put them in the oven for a few minutes, next week.  anyway, i got the idea of making French toast.  i added way too much rice milk and they were too soggy to fry up.

i added lots of cinnamon and vanilla but they were still lacking sweetness.  i have real maple syrup in the pantry but i held out from using it.  i added some frozen banana slices and it did the trick.  i read a blog on getting over binge eating.  apparently, it is a real disorder.  i suffered for many years from food binging.  i was at my worst, a couple of years ago; when the kids left safed.   i became obese.  i no longer could recognize myself.  i would eat all day long and well into the wee hours of the morning.  i never felt satiated.

i was becoming desperate.  at one point i considered becoming bulimic.  i told myself that if i was going to consume 10,000 calories a day; i had to get rid of them, somehow.  i am phobic against vomiting so it wasn't really the answer for me.  at the same time, my friend started intermittent fasting and lost a ton of weight.  she isn't a big eater like myself.  nonetheless; i was lucky to inherit her cast off clothes.  i eventually joined her in intermittent fasting and almost a year later; her cast offs are now my castoffs.  I've had to throw them all out because they are way too large for me now.

i was thinking of taking a bus to town and going to a clothes store to buy a skirt.  my friend, who lives in town; keeps me posted about the comings and goings on these days, downtown.  today she told me that the bakery was crowded and carrying on like normal.  no one was checking temperatures at the door or wearing masks, either.  i won't be going to the bakery, any time soon.  the kids went back to school in safed, this morning.  i have a kindergarten and a day care two doors down from me.  i walked the dogs in the opposite direction this morning.  they were a bit confused.  the male dog nearly refused to come with me.

last night as Shabbat ended, i went downstairs to check on the wellbeing of the Sephardi grandpa.  he seemed fine.  their little 21/4 year old granddaughter seemed very content.  she had a lovely Shabbat downstairs playing with all of the play food and lego i brought down.  i escorted her up the stairs to her aunt's car.  we held hands.  it felt marvelous.  it was the first personal touch I've had in months.  it felt so normal.  of course; i washed my hands immediately afterwards.

i had also gone to visit my friend in the evening.  i actually, entered her home and drank tea in her dining room.  that was another first.  we sat around the table and schmoozed for a couple of hours.  i stayed for the ceremonial prayer to end the Shabbat and went home.  it felt so normal.  i don't know how we older folks, are going to reenter society now.  i won't be going to the open market any time soon.  i'm still grappling with a plan to get to see my oncologist in tel aviv next month.

we will just have to wait and watch the numbers for the next couple of weeks.  what a way to live.  it was so nice feeling normal for a few hours yesterday.  we did have a very abnormal rain storm in the early morning.  i tried to open the door to let the dogs out but the winds were so strong that i couldn't pull the door open.  it felt like a hurricane, for sure.  it didn't last that long.  it ended up being warm and sunny and many people stepped out for a walk, without masks.  i saw a lot of cows yesterday and a fox.  this morning i only saw one badger.

A New Day Has Begun

it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i just got back from walking the dogs.  i didn't shoot out of bed at 6:00 a.m. this morning;  like i do every day.  the dogs had to rouse me this time and they tried very hard.  i felt like sleeping beauty; being licked and kissed and even yanked a bit.  it was like rising from a drug induced coma.

we took the back street and luckily for me; the dogs made.  i saw more badgers.  i saw a mom badger with her baby badger.  who knows? maybe yesterday's 'minyan' of badgers were performing an ancient ceremony like we do, a bris.  the mom stared at me and i stared right back at her.  two mothers grappling with the new world order during the rona.  it was quite splendid.  i felt a moment of true joy.  of course the dogs were going crazy and wanted to take off after the creatures.

today is the second pesach.  we have the custom to eat some matzah.  i won't go into the details of this symbolic day.  it is basically, a day ripe with second chances and new decisions.  it is a very hopeful day.  i can't' wait to get into the kitchen and make a matzah brie.  i feel inspired.  perhaps, i'll make a banana matzah kugel like we did; back in the good old days.  the darkness seems to have lifted a bit.

i can remember being alone in the radiation room during cancer treatment; feeling all right with the world and bathing in the love of the Lord.  i can remember the love and devotion i felt and the special time it was for me.  i can remember hearing Abba music during one of these sessions and feeling so happy. i need to trust more and give it all up to the higher power.  i need to chill out and appreciate every lovely moment that comes my way.  i need to remember and cherish the love i felt for the badger mom and her precious baby.

i just made my morning elixir and will take it outside and drink it in the sun.  it is a very warm day.  i am looking forward to making my breakfast this morning. i am actually looking forward to having some matzah.  i am also looking forward to another lovely Shabbat and cooking chicken and bulgur for Shabbat dinner.   i have been given a second chance this morning.  sure, i didn't see a rainbow or a unicorn but i did see a little baby badger and it melted my cold heart.

5:30 p.m. update:  the food is on the electric platter heating up.  i made buckwheat goats, stewed chicken with orange and ginger, chicken wing soup, salmon fillet and chumus.  i threw fresh garlic and ginger into the buckwheat after it was cooked; otherwise, it is a very bland dish.  i didn't even add salt.  i threw a small salmon fillet in the toaster oven for a few minutes.  i didn't add anything.  after it was ready, i squeezed lemon juice on it.  i added a strong middle east spice to the chicken soup and i am not really digging it.  it tastes very smoky.  the chumus is grainy and lumpy.  i added tahini but it was already dried up and didn't add any creaminess.  so much for trying to be creative.

last night, while i was on the phone; the Sephardi grandpa, ten years my junior; was taken by ambulance to the hospital.  i didn't hear a thing.  i just found out.  i feel really awful.  i was out with the dogs while he had an episode.  apparently, his blood pressure went soaring sky high and he nearly collapsed.  i can't believe that i missed the entire emergency; not that i am sure i could have helped out.  i was invited for dinner downstairs but i will stay here and go to bed early.

their little 2 1/4 year old granddaughter is sleeping downstairs with her parents.  i was with all of them on independence day outside for a barbecue.  inside, is a whole other scenario.  two young kids came by earlier to play with my puppy.  i had just told my friend that i am not letting the dogs get too close to people to avoid their getting the rona.  the puppy, soon to be a year old next month; was actually these kids' dog.  their mother gave her to me when she was four months old.  i was in sheer panic while these kids played with my 'teeny'.  'tiny' wanted in on the action but they weren't interested in him.

i wouldn't let them take the dog back to their house, on the next block.  i kept my mask on and a good distance from the kids.  isn't life grand!

Enough Is Enough

it is 8:30 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m.  i had a hard time falling asleep even though i was tired.  i was plagued with worries about my health issues and finances.  i am worried about the kids, too.  i woke up with a dry cough.  i also have a headache.  i have been feeling tingling in my body, also.  i just read that these could be signs of the rona.  i also read the news and nearly went ballistic.  it just seems that no one really knows everything about this virus.  they probably aren't saying anyway; to prevent a mass panic and more suicides.

i finally did the week's washing up.  i did all the tea cups and pots and pans.  i am fed up with being home and i am fed up with being scared.  i am taking antibiotics for a bad tooth problem and i'm sure it is compromising, my already compromised, immune system.  the elixir that i'm drinking every morning is bogus.  the surgical masks that i wear outside are also bogus.  the news is bogus and i can't feel safe. 

i was planning to go to the cemetery to light a candle at my parents' graves.  i am afraid of coughing in the taxi or on the bus.  i don't want to create a panic.  it is sunny today and it seems warm.  the house is freezing and i'm shaking from the cold.  i read that it is also a sign of the virus.  i'm about to lose my mind.  i think that i might need a valium.  my headache is on my left side which could be a neurological symptom of my brain tumor; which is on my right side.  it could also be from the infection in my gum on the left side of my mouth.

 my friend has been running back and forth to the clinic for the past few weeks with an eye infection.  she has another appointment this morning because it has spread to the other eye.  she was sent to the hospital last week for a thorough examination.   she was given more eye drops and told that it was just an infection.  she was tortured at the beginning fearing that it could be the rona.  apparently, conjunctivitis can spread the virus.

on my walk this morning; i saw many badgers sitting upright on rocks near the valley at the end of the street.  it was like a scene out of the lion king.  they usually hide in the bushes and stay away from people.  i counted more than ten this morning.  i usually only see one.  at first, i thought that i was seeing things.  i also saw a large hedgehog in the downstairs garden.  I've seen a few of them in the public parks lately.  i haven't seen any mongoose lately.  they are pretty docile.

we had one at the yeshiva and the guys named him Patrick.  i read that they make decent pets.  i used to feed Patrick.  he used to lie around the courtyard with the cats.  he was afraid of them.  one time, as i sat on the ground; making a shopping list, he snuggled close to me.  i tried not to move much.  he suddenly bit me on my arm.  it was just a love bite like cats do.  it was however, pretty strange.

i think i will take a hot shower and try to feel calm and warm.  i have a bunch of hand washing to do in the bathtub. i don't feel kike getting my cloths wet right now.  my headache is probably from the barometric pressure dropping.  the frightening thing is that it is on the left side.  i usually get headaches on my right side.  oh well.....

Stormy Weather

it is 8:00 p.m. in the holy city of safed.  i have been in bed all say; watching movies.  i dozed off a couple of times.  i took the dogs out at 7:00 a.m.   it was raining again and quite cold.  i managed to get them out while it was dry.  the dogs didn't want to be out in the rain, either.  i spent the day eating.  i bought these enormous organic crackers and had them with a poor quality cheese spread.  i think each cracker is 100 calories.  i had 5.

i think i put on a bit of weight.  i made my banana fake ice cream; had two apples with peanut butter and polished off a large bowl of leftover red lentils and carrots.  i think i passed out after i consumed the lentils.  it was just way too much to eat in a short amount of time.  i skipped supper.  i had a couple of teaspoons of peanut butter so i could take my antibiotic.  my tooth is still a bit inflamed.  i didn't cook anything today. 

i wanted to make lentil soup last night.  i threw in an onion and two chopped carrots.  i usually add cumin, curry, turmeric, coriander, ginger, chili flakes and garlic.  yesterday i only added a few pieces of garlic and a nice piece of ginger.  most of the liquid evaporated; leaving me with a pot of mushy lentils and carrots.  it was pretty bland.  that's how i seem to like my food these days.

in the early morning, i watched my favorite Italian grandma, gina, make her lentil and minestrone soups on YouTube.  she doesn't skimp on the pasta and she pours tons of shredded cheese into all of her dishes.  i like my pasta, too, but not all that much in soup.  nonetheless, she is a delight to watch.  she loves to sing in Italian while she waits for the water to boil.  her family is so lucky to have her and all of her marvelous food.  you can actually taste the love she puts into her every dish. 

i went out a little while ago to the local synagogue down the street.  i wrote my father's name on a small piece of paper and asked one of the men to say the mourner's prayer for him.  tonight is the anniversary of his death.  i can't remember how many years it has been.  i could look it up but i am too lazy.  and what difference does it make anyway?  it's about sixteen.years, i think.  i still miss him dearly.  i lit a memorial candle for him.  i am planning on going down to the cemetery in the morning.  i hope it isn't raining hard tomorrow.  i will light a candle at his grave.  i'm not sure if i'll jump on a couple of buses or call a taxi.

i was a devoted daughter and i took care of my father until his dying breath.  i was also with my mom until she passed on.  my father had dementia and i was like his mommy at the end.  he held my hand when we ventured out like a small child.  he didn't remember my name and called me 'big woman'.  he was so uninhibited when he had dementia.  he would sing Sinatra hits outside and in taxis.  he even sang at the clinic.  he would often get up and dance and shake the old booty.  he was the life of the party.  he loved children and often greeted them in the street.  he would wish everyone a good Shabbat every day of the week.  some people thought he was crazy but most others adored him.
his famous expression was 'do what's good for you'.

he was a modest man and i don't think he ever wanted for material goods.  he never complained and he ate whatever was served to him.  we all doted on him.  my mother kept him well fit and taken care of.  he loved her dearly.  he called her Sargent sussman  at the end.  she had been a WAC and an officer in WW2.  he didn't remember her name, either.  he would have been 107 now.

Playing By The Rules

it is 8:00 a.m.in the holy city of safed.  i just got back from a supermarket run.  i took the dogs out at 6:00 a.m. and after i brought them home, i flew to the market.  Did i absolutely need to go? Of course, i didn't.  i still have apples and bananas and ginger left and i have poultry in the freezer and assorted grains in the closet.  i wanted to buy almond extract.  what good are my shakes and muffins and fake ice cream without the extract?  as it tuned out, they didn't have almond extract.  bummer!

i bought two vanilla.  they are pricey because they are from America.  i didn't have the oomph to get on a bus and go to the health food store up here.  these will do just fine.  they are way better than the Israeli brand.  i also bought some dried chickpeas, red lentils, organic canned tomatoes, and another rice milk.  i bought two packages of chicken wings, a celery, some onions, more ginger and bananas and a package of carrots and beets.  nothing else 'spoke' to me.  i want hot food.  i have had enough of boiled eggs and peanut butter on apples.  i want a bowl of soup.

last night i made a pot of rice and threw in a couple of cans of tuna.  i shared it with the dogs.  i would have loved to buy more hot dogs and ground beef  this morning but they didn't have any with the certificate of kashrut that i hold by.  i have yet to drink my morning elixir.  it's on the desk cooling.  i am dreading it.  oh yes, i bought another package of Jasmin green tea.  it was on sale. i tried to buy most of my veggies in a wrapped package.  i wiped everything down when i got home.

there was a lady in the supermarket picking out produce without gloves.  she was donning a mask but how in the world, did no one say anything?  i turned to her and asked her where her gloves were.  she continued to pick stems out of her cauliflower and told me that she had gloves.  she didn't miss a beat and she didn't put her gloves on, either.  you cannot be subtle with an Israeli.  i should have said that according to the rules; she is obligated to wear her gloves.  i didn't. 

i was getting ready to check out my purchases when; of course; she asked if she could go in front of me.  she only had two items.  i wondered how many cauliflowers she had touched before picking one.  of course, i let her go ahead of me.  i did tell her to wear her gloves next time.  i think i muttered under my mask; that it wasn't fair to us old folks that she didn't follow the rules.  i tried to make a mental note to remember to warn my friend not to buy cauliflower in this store.  i am surprised how well folks in this little sleepy town; have kept to the rules.  we haven't had a serious outbreak here in safed.
   
you don't see many young people here wearing masks but they aren't running around the supermarkets, either.  it seems that old people as well as small children have been the shut ins here.  i know that in larger cities, this is not the case.  i am glad that i did my run this morning.  this should hold me for another couple of weeks.  i received another appointment for my oncologist in tel aviv.  it is for the first week in june.  hopefully, it will be less risky for me to travel then.  if not 'ill just wait until i feel more comfortable.

Could Visiting Grandma Become legal Again?

it is 9:00 a.m. in the holy city of safed.  i got up at 5:30 a.m. and walked the dogs.  it was a bit strange.  i saw men going to the synagogue.  i got back a half an hour later and went straight to bed.  i didn't go back to sleep.  i retrieved my reading glasses from the puppy's mouth and started to read a murder mystery that i began on Shabbat.   i just made my morning green tea with ginger, lemon and hot paprika.  i used a jasmin tea today.  i need to buy mint leaves for this elixir.  i used a mint tea yesterday.

 i ate way too many carbs yesterday and i noshed all day long.  i hit the peanut butter pretty hard, too.  i took a nap in the afternoon.  i do practically nothing everyday and yet i am always tired.  i watched the HBO flick, Bad Education.   it took me awhile to really get into it.  a friend came by at 4:00 p.m.  and we sat outside for an hour.  i walked her back to her home with the dogs.  i don't seem to have the patience with other people for more than an hour.  i can't be out of my home for long.  when i got home i rewound the film and watched til the end.  i kind of liked it.

i need to finish the mystery novel today because my neighbor will be returning it to the English library downtown tomorrow.  it reopened yesterday.  i do not usually go there.  i get quite claustrophobic inside.  i usually borrow books from my friend, who goes to the library.  right now, she is not so keen on going.  the entire country is opening up.  schools in major cities opened up.  in safed they will remain closed.  i believe, that clothing stores have opened here.  i am not rushing to get downtown.

i just read that the government is considering letting families visit their grandparents.  i haven't seen the kids in two months.  i read yesterday that children don't really pass on the virus to others.  they said that babies were breeders of the virus now; if their mothers had it.  swell!  i'm sort of waiting to hear from the kids that they will be coming up for Shabbat.  it always is a last minute request and i'm never truly prepared.  i have a couple of treats and little presents for the older grandchildren that i bought for pesach and some poulty and meat in the freezer.  i would just have to buy some veggies and beer; no big deal.

i am just predicting a call.  i really am not sure.  if they did come they could have dinner downstairs with the Sephardi grandparents.  she cooks and bakes every day.  she'd be up for cakes and challah and tons of food for Friday night.  i could swing a cholent for lunch and a salad.  let's just wait and see what truly transpires.  my friends and i are all going a bit nuts.  we don't fit into the herd immunity mentality and we are all still keeping our distance from the masses.  we are all confused and agitated and nervous about life, during corona.

i have an appointment with my gyn-oncologist tomorrow in tel aviv.  there is no way that i would risk the bus ride there.  i feel very frustrated.  i need to do an MRI brain scan soon, too.  i probably could do it in safed but if i do it once; they will never allow me to do it in tel aviv again.  what to do???  i get nervous just thinking about this.  i wonder what will do me in: the brain tumor, the microscopic lung tumor or the rona?  what a wonder!