The Zelda Monologue

Dreams Can Come True

2012-02-13T22:00:00.000-08:00

it is 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i am up bright and early this morning because i want to bring over a few items to my sister before i go to the dentist. she is travelling to india this morning. her daughter sarah gave birth to a girl yesterday. she named her after our mom. we all cried for joy. it was very emotional.

this is the fifth grandchild that was born in the 3 year period since mom passed away. my niece is chabad and they have the custom of naming their children after the rebbis and family of their sect. my son and wife have gone the esoteric hebrew biblical route in naming their children. i truly, never dreamed that my mom would have a namesake. i had made peace with that. just like i don't expect them to name their future child after me, zelda.

mom went by her popular american name, jeanette. her jewish name was 'charna'. she told us sometime before she died that her father had always called her 'cherna'. he had a different dialect from his wife. mom prefered his version. from that day forward we called her 'cherna'. surprisingly, both versions were noted on her ketuba. we put 'cherna' on her grave stone.

yesterday evening, i went to a dream workshop. my friends' twin sister came to visit her. she is a respected pyscho drama and dream therapist in florida. i mistakenly, thought the workshop was about realizing one's dreams and goals. it was actually, about confronting and understanding one's dreams. you know, you have an idealic dream about having a baby and after this process you come away with the realization that your grown up son is a piece of work.

i was a bit tired and didn't fully participate in the process. i couldn't even remember having had a dream in ages. i guess one needs a fair amount of rem sleep first. i don't remember the last time i had a good sleep, either. i guess i was counting on a 'dreams come true' ophrah winfrey type of seminar. you know, the one where someone gives you a wad of cash, or a new car, or a ticket to your favorite concert. i think i watch way too much television.

anyway, i'm on my way to the dentist to continue the 'dream' of getting my mouth put back in order. i dream that i will have a long and loving relationship with my new niece 'cherna geula' and that someday, i will be able to truly spoil this namesake with presents. in the meanwhile, i will send over the purim costumes that i made with a purim cd and dream that i'll be able to send them some money in the future.

may all our dreams be fulfilled now!!!

Getting Ready For Purim

2012-02-09T15:38:00.000-08:00

it is 1:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i've been at home, sick, for the last two days. before that i pulled 2 all nighters and i guess i paid the price. i've started going to the dentist to try and get my mouth put back in order. it isn't a pretty story.

i've lost another 3 teeth and will probably be in dentures in a few years. in the meanwhile, i am having a plate made. i thought about implants, but at this rate, i can no longer afford them. i also don't want to have screws in my mouth. i had my teeth cleaned and i survived. i actually, felt empowered, afterwards. i am going to have all the spaces filled so hopefully, i will want to smile again.

i started a diet and actually, lost a couple of kilos. then along came tu b'shvat. i had my annual sedar and kept it small this year. i let go and had a lot of dried fruit. my belly immediately, puffed out again. i made an unusual spread this year. i worked on the food for hours at end. i spent weeks buying the many varieties, and looking up recipes.

i did a pesach like cleaning job the day before the sedar. it was unseasonably warm and sunny. i spent the entire day doing my laundry and washing my floors. i had to watch my grandson from 5:00 p.m. in the evening until 2 a.m. i let him fall asleep with me in front of the televison. i was way too tired to struggle getting him to sleep in his own bed. he really wanted to come upstairs and sleep with me in one of the guest bedrooms. he loves playing with the switch on the wall and turning on and off the light.

this year, i found dried nectarines. i made a hot and spicy chutney from them. it wasn't a big hit but i sure liked it. i made chai tea spiced dried peaches. they tasted much better after a couple of days, marinating. i made a fresh tangerine and fennel salad with tossed pistashio nuts. i made a savory butter roasted pan of assorted nuts. they were way too delicious! the chestnut soup was gormet as usual. i actually, used the right amount of chestnuts this year. i made mini low fat, sugar free and non gluten cherry muffins for the health conscious crowd. i also made a carob and coconut soufle'. it had the texture of a regular cake.

i served a creamy goat cheese that went well with all the fruit and nuts. i managed to serve more than the required 30 varieties. i love this holiday! we all got drunk on the wine and sugar. we laughed and we sang and we were loose. it was a lovely evening. earlier in the day, we had a monster storm. i didn't think anyone would come out. but they did and we all had a great time.

now i'm in purim mold. i bought an inexpensive costume princess dress in town and i played around with it to fit the baby. i added flowers and made a fancy headband for her too. i bought a cowboy hat for my grandson and turned a pair of his jeans into fringed cowboy pants. i have to go to a used clothing store and buy a small vest. i have animal fur like material to sew onto the vest completing the costume.

i found a small ninja costume in town for only 10 shekels. i was most inspired. most of the 'cheap' costumes these days are starting at 60 shekels. the more expensive ones are almost 200 shekels. i paid 29 shekels for the princess dress and another 10 shekels for 2 hairbands. i decided to turn the 2 piece ninja costume into a chassidic frock for my great nephew in india. i bought a little costume streimel with attached peyos for 20 shekels. i managed to cover up the ninja insignias with material from the mask. i added some velvet material around the collar and voila!

i have to make shabbat meals for the kids this week. i don't know if i'll be up to it tomorrow. i couldn't do more than defrost the chicken and fish today. i thought about going to the supermarket in the evening but it was raining again and i had the chills. at least, the house is still clean.

we have had an invasion of rats this week. we caught 4 in one week. this evening my son and a friend bashed the rat to death with a metal broom handle. i disposed of the carcus and cleaned up the blood. too bad, the broom broke in two. the dog didn't seem to keen on catching it. what a great way to bond with one's family!

we are in the middle of a general strike so i can't call the city to come and drop some poison in the sewer outside. i can't pick up a package that my sister sent at the post office, either. i can't get some direct payment forms in the bank that i need or sign up at unemployment. what a mess! shabbat shalom!

Coming Into One's Own

2012-01-24T00:42:00.000-08:00

it is 10:30 in the holy city of zefat. the sun is out and it isn't all that freezing. we have been blessed with lots and lots of rain. the garden is lush green and it didn't cost me a penny!

i should get to town. i have a few errands to take care of. i need to get to the bank, pronto. and yet, i am not moving. i don't seem to be able to get self activated. i am in a bit of a slump. not working again, is a real mood killer.

my phone got turned off for a couple of days. i tried for a cople of months, to get the phone company to send me a bill. i'm finally almost, through with my credit card. i spoke with about 5 different people and they all promised me that it would take 'a while'. they also reassured me that they wouldn't turn off the phone.

i paid off the bill, eventually, with cash and waited for them to turn on the phone. i emailed the company and told them that i was not a happy customer. i did get two apologies. big deal!

i still need to fill out a form in the bank to set up a direct payment. i also have to fax this form to the phone company. i need to sign up at the unemployment office and i need to put some cash into my account. and yet, i sit here, not moving.

i need to take a shower and change my clothes. i've been holed up here for the past few days in the same few layers of wool clothes. i have even, been sleeping in a wool hat. i am definately, in a slump.

i spent shabbat with a couple of friends. the kids ate out in the neighborhood. i had adult company and adult conversation, for a change. i even went for a 2 hour walk with a friend. my son asked me to watch his son and i declined. it felt so liberating. normally, i would have declined the walk. i am slowly, trying to get my life in order and set priorites for me.

i went back to the dentist after a year. my cap fell out. i still have to decide how to continue. i still need either, a surgical procedure to affix 3 inplants, or have about 4-5 teeth pulled to make a plate. money is a big issue and of course, my fear of pain is another big issue.

i do want to deal with this critical health issue in this new year. i have gotten quite heavy this winter. i can't seem to settle down on a diet plan. i have this self destructive urge to stuff face every night. i am depressed and worried about the future. being cold all the time, doesn't help.

while i was working from home, i did get out every day. i managed to cope better. i am basically, waiting for tu b'shvat so i can, once again, create a fruit extravaganza. and then what? purim? pesach?

i am in a rut. i sent out 2 email birthday cards this week. so far, my brother has not opened his. i figured a musical card would be festive and definately, arrive on time. i guess, that's if one opens their email regurlarly, and it doesn't go to their spam. oh well, at least i tried!

Is Anyone Out There?

2012-01-11T04:38:00.000-08:00

hi! it's 2:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just got back from the little supermarket. i heard that they're predicting snow tomorrow, so i ran to buy some veggies for shabbat. i think the kids will be home. i also started 'selecting' dried fruit for the tu b'shvat sedar. i bought apricots, guava, figs, and prunes. i also bought packaged chestnuts to make my gourmet soup. i already have almonds and walnuts so i'm 23 types shy of the 30 types of nuts and fruits.

yesterday, i walked over to sahar's daycare to pick him up. it was a lovely, warm and sunny day. i had fantasies of the two of us strolling hand-in-hand to the kids' park and then later over to the bus stop. i thought that i would treat sahar to some pizza, while i had a coffee. i had to buy some things at the pharmacy for the new baby. i thought that sahar and i would have some 'quality' time, for a change.

we all heard about the fantasies. right? in reality, what i had, was an overtired, wild and hysterical little 2 year old. first, he ran over to me in the gan, and wanted to be held. once outside, he ran wildly down the street and almost into the traffic. he wanted to 'search' for puddles and happily ran until he found some. i absolutely, refused to let him jump in any. i know, what a kill joy!

we made it over to a small park and spent about an entire 5 minutes there. he wouldn't hold my hand and persisted in running down the next street by himself. he wanted to cross a large street alone, too. i thought that at least, he would sit patiently at the bus stop for a short while. fantasy #2! he squirmed and wiggled out of my lap and started to cry. he didn't want a busride. he wanted a taxi. he wanted to go home. he wanted his mother. he wanted my money. he wanted to hold my purse. he wanted my keys. he wanted to run down the street. he wanted to run across the street and touch a flag that was painted on a car. he wanted his independence.

i thought about calling a cab and bringing him home and then going back out alone, to the pharmacy. the bus finally came and he started screaming and crying that his shoe had fallen off. i barely made it to a seat and retrieved the shoe before the bus went racing off. he wanted to play with the bell. he wanted his mom. he wanted to go home. he wanted a present. i wanted to hide and get off that bus as soon as possible. the price had recently gone up and i was short about 20 cents, but the driver took pity on me. my talking to this little brat in english was a bit of a novelty act, i must admit.

we made it off the bus and in front of the pharmacy. he saw a dora book and wanted it. normally, i would have just purchased it, but i thought that we had already bought this book last week. he started screaming and crying and threw himself onto the sidewalk. semi mortified, i scooped him up and carried him over to the large supermarket. he wouldn't sit in a shopping cart. what little child doesn't love to sit in the shopping cart? he didn't want to run up and down the aisles, either. he, simply, didn't want to be in the supermarket. he wanted to go to sleep. he had missed his nap at daycare and was exhausted.

i bought him a small toy. it was a small plastic frying pan with a few plastic food items. he was finally quiet. he was finally appeased. he was also hungry. he saw packaged cake and suddenly wanted cake. he of course, started screaming and crying for cake. i ran to the bakery section to find a pastry. now he wanted a roll. he grabbed a whole wheat roll and started to eat it. i bought some milk and went to pay for it with him, still in my arms. he didn't want to stand. i carried him back to the pharmacy and he refused once again, to sit in a shopping cart. he ate his roll and held onto his toy.

he tried to fall asleep in my arms. i tried desparately, to place him onto a chair. he was rather heavy. he refused to sit. he told me in hebrew, that it was dangerous to sit in that chair. i tried to reason with him and when that didn't go anywhere, i simply, sat down, myself. i somehow, managed to get the prescription filled, buy diapers, and a remedy for colic. i even paid the bill, while he was still in my arms, hanging on for dear life. i grabbed all of the bags and made a mad exit. i saw a cab and got in. he fell asleep. it was 5:00 p.m. no time to nap. it was pretty much, a disaster. i took him downstairs and woke him up with the help of his mom. he played cheerfully, with his new toy frying pan.

i have to go again and pick him up now. it is cold and raining. i think i'll just cab it all the way. when in doubt, throw money at it, right? i bought him another set of toy plastic kitchenware and a plastic strawberry shortcake that breaks into 6pieces. it even came with a mini stove top. he'll have a ball. maybe he'll grow up to be a top chef winner or even an iron chef winner. who knows? only time will tell.

i haven't worked all week. it looks like my home companion gig fell through. another case of no money. why she hired and led me on, when she really didn't have the financing, is annoying. once again, i find myself without an added income. that's life in the middle east, i guess. you just got to hang in there!

All Qiuet On The Eastern Front

2012-01-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

it is 8:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. my 'charge' has just left. i may have mentioned that for the past couple of months, i have been receiving in my home, a young 19 year old girl with asperger's. she spends every afternoon here until 8:00 p.m. i keep her well entertained and busy and then give her dinner.

she loves to go shopping, so i make sure that we walk over to the pharmacy and supermarket up here. sometimes, like today, we bus it to town. i get to check out my bank balance and she gets to check out the local stores. thankfully, it is a bit of income for me. i get to pay the electricity bill tomorrow. Whoopie!!

this evening, i treated her to a melted cheese sandwich and hot chocolate in town. who wants to make dinner anyway? i know i shouldn't be spending money on her but i can't help myself. anyway, we caught the bus back up and she was picked up by a driver a little while later. 'another day, another dollar', as we used to say back in the old country.

it has been rather quiet and peaceful here lately. no major drama to date. the kids continue to do their own laundry and i think they feel good about themselves. ashkanazi jewish mama is staying out of their way. i leave the mail and the various sleepers and pajamas that i often buy, on their door handle outside. i do not go downstairs.

my daughter-in-law has been staying at home with the new baby and my grandson has been spending the afternoons with her family. i have only, been called upon a couple of times lately, to bathe sahar up here in the big tub. i watched the baby last night for about an hour. she had been given a bottle by her daddy and was sound asleep. i am not comfortable with new babies. give me a couple of months.

i have been very tired in the mornings and only seem to rev up late in the day when my charge comes over. today it was warm and sunny so i decided to do my laundry. fortunately, my daughter-in-law wasn't home. i called first to ask her permission to use my maytag machine that is situated on her floor. afterall, i wouldn't want to disturb her during the day.

the kids have chosen to have shabbat here for the past two weeks. i was also given the job of watching my grandson on 2 consecutive fridays. what fun!!! i haven't asked the kids if they are planning to be here this weekend, yet. they usually let me know late on thursday evening, when the supermarkets are already closed.

my freezer is quite stocked with chicken parts, fish, and meat for cholent. i even bought several marrow bones to throw into the cholent. my son loves them. if they stay for shabbat, i will only need to buy potatoes, challah and veggies. i have recently come into a bit of a 'windfall' and i will be able to pay all of my bills this month. what a tremendous relief!

i am really going to make an effort to visit the seniors' center tomorrow. i haven't been there all month. not very nice at all! i have an infection in my gums, and i think that i will be losing more teeth soon. too bad, that i don't have the money to do a teeth makeover. i don't think i could suffer the pain.

the kids are playing house once again, and for the most part, enjoying it. i am keeping separate but equal in my space. they are trying to be more respectful and honor my privacy. my daughter-in-law, actually cooked this week and sent up a plate of food for me. maybe, there is a chance that i'll be looked after in my old age. perish the thought!

yesterday, i showed my upstairs studio to someone. she wants to do 'drums alive' therapy in zefat. the idea of people bouncing around with giant exercize balls upstairs, didn't really thrill me. it is not a gym. every little movement upstairs reverberates and sounds like elephants stomping on my ceiling. i ended up giving this person a motivational speech for nearly an hour. i didn't make one penny, either.

i did discover a wounded pigeon trapped in the apartment. it had pooped all over the place. i was finally able to catch it and put it outside of the apartment. i didn't know if it could fly so i didn't throw if off the roof. i once did that and the poor pigeon plunged to its demise.

yesterday, i simply, didn't have the strength to clean up the studio. i walked away, locked the door, and didn't look back. it is going to be way harder, now, to clean up the dried poo. just add it to my list of tasks to do before pesach. it's always something!

Our First Shabbat

2011-12-24T08:14:00.000-08:00

last week i went to hadera at the last minute to be with the kids for shabbat. my son had requested me to join with the sephardi family clan for a shabbat bar mitzvah. still feeling slighted and uneasy, i had refused to go. finally, it came to light, that my new granddaughter was being named there. a kiddush was not going to take place here.

i was riddled with guilt but i still didn't feel like shlepping to hadera. i didn't like leaving the dogs alone, either. the last direct bus was at 11:00 a.m. i was still debating whether to go or not when a girlfriend called to say hello. she kind of shamed me into going. i quickly tossed a few things into a bag and called a taxi.

although it was a simcha, the family was still in deep mourning for the grandmother of the clan. i managed to make some chocolate tefillin and baby buggies before i left. i also brought a few packages of novelty napkins for both the bar mitzvah boy and new parents. it did add a bit of simcha.

i thought it was worth it all, when my son looked up and saw me waving to him from the women's section in the shul. i was his only family member there. his wife didn't make it to the shul. he actually, came over to me and hugged me on his own accord. it was the first time, in years, i may add.

i spent the first night of chanukah alone. the kids came up to light the huge chanukah menorah but sahar was not with them. he was at his grandparents' home. i gave them each a token present, socks and underwear, and they left. i had bought a diego doll for sahar and my son took it with him to give to sahar. i was really hurt. not only did i miss out on seeing his reacton to the gift, but i was left alone while they were all celebrating together.

i let my son know the next day, how upset i was. he accused me of being a 2 year old and reassured me that they would be coming to me for shabbat. i tried to let him know that i wasn't sure if i really wanted to make shabbat for them. it went way over his head.

the next night they, all 3 of them, came upstairs to light. i gave sahar a token chanukah coloring book and box of crayons and a cardboard dreidel filled with goodies. my son asked me to make latkes for them. i was feeling very uneasy with the daughter-in-law sitting there. i complied with his request and hassled to fry up some latkes while sahar colored and his mom nursed the baby. i also made a greek salad.

i invited a few friends over on thursday evening, the third night of chanukah. it was the third anniversary of my mother's passing. i was very emotional. i have an 'official' latke nlight every year. this year i tried to get creative. i made plain potato latkes for my friend, the purest. i made sweet potato and veggie latkes for my other friend who doesn't eat white potatoes. and i made pumpkin latkes for a friend who doesn't eat potatoes at all. i also made cheesey corn fritters, just for the heck of it.

i made home made applesauce and a greek salad. i served regular sour cream, and a soft goat cheese spread. i made chocolate coins, menorahs and dreidels. i set the table with menorah napkins and tons of assorted dreidels. i placed 14 chocolates around the table, strategically, and went off to the computer room. when i got back to the table all the chocolates were gone. there were candy foils and lolly sticks all over the floor. i can't say for sure, if both the dogs were in on this caper. i tend to think that it was cloey the beast, who ate all 14 chocolates.

the evening was very cozy and sentimental. i spoke very lovingly of my mom. my sister did not join us. she invited me to come over for a game of dreidel and i invited her to join us. i had a shot or two of whiskey and cleaned up a bit. i still have some greasy pans to wash out. my son let me know that they were definately, planning on being here for shabbat. i defrosted some fish, and chicken cutlets, and a small piece of meat.

on friday afternoon, i decided to make a spicy stewed fish and fried chicken cutlets. afterall, it was still chanukah. for lunch, i made a small beef cholent for my son and plain boiled potatoes for my daughter-in-law. i made fresh corn and white rice. i made cooked swiss chard which the kids like, and a tossed green salad. i also made an avocado and egg salad and a mixed colarabi salad.

i got woken up at 8:30 a.m. on friday morning by my son. he was leaving for work and leaving me his son to watch for the day. i needed to get down to the cemetary by around 10:00 a.m. i made him some eggs which he didn't eat. i made him toast and cottage cheese which he just picked at. he was wilder than a mad hatter. i hadn't had the pleasure of his company for a couple of weeks, and he had definately, forgotten how to speak english. he also forgot what dogs were.

i struggled with him for a while and then called a cab. i grabbed a memorial candle and a box of matches and away we went. he fell asleep in my arms as soon as we took off. i was debating on leaving him sleep in the back seat with the driver but i grabbed him out of the cab and walked over to the graves of my parents. i quickly lit a candle for mom, put stones on each of their graves, wiped off a bit of dirt on mom's grave with a baby wipe, bent down and kissed both of their graves, and let out a primal cry. i didn't want to go.

i got back into the cab and continued to sob. i got home and put sahar onto the couch and started to cook. i baked a cheesecake and put up the fish. when he got up, i took him on his bike, to the spermarket and bought challah and a few more veggies. i bought a cake because i din't have enough time left to make one. i gave him his bath and returned him to his mom downstairs at around 2:00 p.m. i really hussled to finish cooking and clean up. candlelighting was at 4:00 p.m.

i don't think it was the best meal i ever made but one of the most pressured times i've had. sahar was really sick over shabbat. he had a fever and was hyper active. i watched him for a few hours in the morning while his mom rested and his dad went to shul. he tore my house apart. it will have to stay that way until tomorrow. i am way too tired to do dishes or anything else tonight. it was a pleasant shabbat, you could say, even though i forgot to buy chumus.

Caught In The Middle

2011-12-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

mazel tov! i have a brand new granddaughter. gal gave birth on friday night. it was a hard wait for me. shabbat came in at 4:30 p.m. and that was the last comunication i had with my son. i was banned from coming for the birth so i stayed home like a lunatic. i couldn't concentrate nor do simple tasks.

i walked down to the hospital on saturday morning at around 8:30 a.m. it took me well over an hour. i arrived to an empty room. i tried persuading the nurses to let me get a quick peak at the new baby but it didn't happen. i waited for a while in the corridor until i finally spotted my son with his wife. i had to ask my son if i could give him a congratulatory hug and kiss. my daugter-in-law barely acknowledged my presence. she was feeling dizzy so i ran to make her a cup of tea.

she seemed unnerved that she hadn't seen the baby yet. i got up and went to the nurses station to inquire what was taking so long. that action was perceived as one of interference. gal then let me know that she, the mother of the baby, hadn't even seen her yet, implying that i was already to hone in on the baby. i feebly, tried to explain that i had made the gesture for her and not for myself. a moment later, her 3 sisters arrived. the baby finally came. the nurse spent a good deal of time explaining things to the young parents. one would have assumed that this was their first child. i was afraid to make a move to look at the baby.

i tried to make a joke and my son told me to cool it. i tried to encourage gal, as she tried to breast feed. my son told me that i was infringing on an intimate moment. after a while, my son asked if i wanted to hold the baby. i honestly, wanted nothing to do with the baby or her parents. my feelings were really hurt. i was made to feel like an intruder by both my son and his wife.

a little while later, her married sister showed up with her baby and husband. zvi ran off with the men and gal began a lively conversation with her sister. i tried my best to enter the conversation more than once, but it was clear that i was an outsider. i spent the rest of the time fetching drinks for my daughter-in-law, while everyone else munched out on the treats i had sent up before shabbat. i couldn't take another moment at the hospital, so i left. i was politely, thanked for coming. i was the only one she did not hug or kiss.

i decided to go to the in-laws' and visit my grandson. i cried as i climbed up the long road from the hospital. this should have been the happiest time of my life but it wasn't. my grandson was very happy to see me. when i got up to leave he came running over to go home with me. that wasn't in the plan. he was being taken to the hospital to see his mom and new baby sister. i patiently hung around until my son came to get him. the maternal grandmother went with them. i went home.

my son returned home late and asked me to give sahar a bath. it was well past his bedtime and the house was freezing. i offered to bathe him in the morning before he went to maon. i was accused of interference, once again. the kid's mother wanted him to be bathed at night. i was then informed that i could no longer enter the downstairs from inside my house because the new mother had no privacy. i was instructed to lock the door between the floors. i am now supposed to go outside and down the stairs to knock on their door. the fact that they all trapse through my house is not an issue. fine, let sahar go outside and up the stairs to see me. maybe that's the point. sahar shouldn't see me.

okay i get it. my daughter-in-law and i are finally engaging in a power struggle. she lives in my house but wants me out of their lives. every thing that i do for them, including laundry, is now seen as interference. perhaps it always was, and it has just now, come to a head. i realize now that she does not consider me family. i am simply, her husband's mother. i am not her family. i happen to be the biological grandmother of her 2 children but we are not family. i am the silly old woman who lives upstairs with her 2 dirty dogs who has a bunch of weird middle aged friends.

the next morning, my son left with sahar. we were not speaking because we had words the night before. he called to apologize from the hospital. i had no desire to go back again. i broke down and cried. he told me that gal wanted me to come. she didn't understand why i wasn't there. i was in no hurry to oblige. i did my laundry and some of theirs'. i spoke on the phone for hours. i got an s.o.s call from my son letting me know that visiting hours was almost over. i called a cab and rushed over.

i didn't get much of a reception. a moment later her mom came. after that my sister came. my sister had a heartfelt conversation with gal and got to hold the baby. the guards told us to leave so i did. zvi asked me to walk with him to the car. her mother took the baby and hugged her and placed her back into the cart. gal kissed them both goodbye and i left without any type of exchange.

i guess it is my son who has been trying to include me in their family, perhaps out of guilt. afterall, i am supposed to be his 'ally', his blood. i am so tired of getting the cold shoulder. i am so threw with trying to be accepted and loved. i obviously, am not. i am threw with being at the mercy of a 21 year old. where has my dignity gone? how did i lose my humanity and identity? when did i become just gal's mother-in-law? what ever happened to my sense of humor?

yesterday i blew my wad on heaters for the downstairs. i will be the one paying the huge electric bill, to boot. the buck stops here! i will find my life again. i will make a nitch for myself that doesn't include the kids. i will not accompany them to a family bar mitzvah this week nor will i spend shabbat in hadera. i will not sit around a huge crowd and watch them all fawn over my new granchild in another language. i will not make myself available to them anymore. i will not do their laundry today, either. i don't think that i will be available for future shabbatons.

i fell asleep with my warm dog in my arms. shouldn't it be my new granddaughter? i know that i am supposed to be the adult here. one of these days, i will start acting like it. but for now, i will just stew in it.

We're Having A Baby

2011-12-09T02:19:00.000-08:00

it's 12:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. shabbat comes in at 4:30 p.m. candlelighting is at 4:00 p.m. my daughter-in-law is in the hospital in labor. i don't know if the baby will make it in before shabbat. i have goodies and fruit and drinks to bring over before shabbat.

i am at home alone. sahar is with her family. the kids and the sephardi mom went over to the hospital last night at around 10:00 p.m. i wasn't even called. i called my son to ask how everyone was. i was advised not to come. frankly, i had no intention of going there last night. i was completely exhausted and wanted to chill out with a good police show or something. my new part time gig with the young lady, takes all of my energy. being in a cold house all day long, doesn't help one feel energized, either.

my son called and woke me up at around 1:00 a.m. to let me know that gal wasn't in labor. he then woke me up at around 2:00 a.m. to let him in. he left gal with her mom and sister for the night. i tried to wake him up at 7:00 a.m. as he had requested the night before, but he was really tired and non-compliant. he finally got up at around 8:00 a.m. and i was advised once again, not to come to the hospital. i muttered something under my breath about the trials of not having any daughters and my son started to get combative. i had to smoothe things out before he left for the hospital.

i took a very long and steaming hot shower to get relaxed and in motion. i went downstairs to the small supermarket and decided to blow some money. i bought candies and cookies and shabbat treats to bring to the hospital. i bought dried apricots for the soon to be new mom. they asked me to pick up a pacifier so i bought both pink and purple ones. they were on sale to boot. only cost me 4 shekels. how hilarious is that! i had bought a set of toiletries for the blessed event so i have a little gift to bring, too. i also bought a bag of newborn diapers and wipes, just in case .

i put up a small pot of chicken soup for myself and bought a few peppers. i managed to get back on the diet wagon this week and knocked off a couple of pounds. i really wanted to be svelte when my new grand-daughter arrived. i can't really get my head around the concept of a grand-daughter. i have wanted a daughter my entire life. a daughter-in-law doesn't do the trick.

my daughter-in-law told my son that i shoudn't feel offended. how exactly should i feel? why am i home alone? i'm not taking care of my grandson so why shouldn't i be at the hospital? i was there til the end the first time around. i could sit out in the hall this time if she doesn't want me in the room with her. the fact that she also doesn't want her sisters there doesn't do it for me. i am the grandmother. i am the mother of the sperm donor. why don't i have any rights.

i am the one who runs out to buy the baby blankets, the stretchies, the cute newborn outfits and the diapers. i am the one who bathes and puts the grandson to sleep when they're too tired but doesn't get to see him all week. i am the one who provides them with a place to live but has no voice. this blog is called the zelda monologue, right. it is the rantings of a middle aged lady living in zefat, correct?

i planned to run over to the hospital, just before candlelighting, and leave the food package for the kids. the walk home should take about an hour and a half or even more, depending on how fast i can move my body. my son just called to ask me to get his shabbat clothes in order. i offered to bring them over in a cab but once again i was instructed not to come. what did i ever do to my daughter-in-law to be forbidden from coming to the hospital?

how will they feel if i don't go to see the new baby? i guess i'll have to wait on line again. her family will get first dibs to hold the baby. last time i waited for an entire month for my turn. their reasoning being, that the baby would live here. my grandson lives downstairs and i go an entire week without seeing him. he is in maon all day and then he goes to the other family until bedtime. if i want to get a peak at him i can always watch him leave for daycare, from my kitchen window.

i am trying my darndest not to get emotional and hurt. now i have to run over to her sister's apartment to bring over the stuff for the hospital. they will be going near there later today for shabbat. zvi will have shabbat with his brother-in-law's family who live near the hospital. so in the end, i really don't need to send over any shabbat treats at all. they can all fend for themselves and i can fade into the oblivion for good.

shabbat shalom! let's hope there will be good news soon!

Living In A Small Town

2011-12-06T23:12:00.000-08:00

it's 9:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. the kids left with sahar and i have my morning free. i did the laundry yesterday. we are enjoying warm and sunny weather. the houses remain cold and our bones creak but outside it's gorgeous and cozy.

last week we had a family crisis. gal's grandmother lost her 3 year battle with the dreaded big 'C' disease. we don't say the name of the disease. the entire family camped out for the entire week at the house in hadera. i stayed in zefat with sahar on the day of the funeral. the next day i journeyed to hadera to pay a shiva call. gal decided to spend the week there with sahar.

it is hard to believe that just one month ago we were all at a family simcha together in zicron yakov. i pushed myself to go to the wedding because i had a gut feeling that safta esther wouldn't be with us much longer. she was an incredible lady, matriarch of a large and very close family. she will be sorely missed.

i spent all of friday doing a pessach cleaning of the kids' apartment. zvi left for shabbat to be with the family and i spent shabbat here, alone. we both figured that gal would want to come back to a clean apartment after such an ordeal. i did my best to comply. i had expected her to give birth in hadera and return with my new granddaughter. no such luck! the wait is still on, big time.

the mailman just had a special delivery for my neighbor. i knew that no one was home next store so i told him that i would sign for it. it is really funny. he knew my family name and remembered the address and building where i once lived, about 11 years ago. he even remembered the floor and on which side of the hall i was situated. talk about your good memory!

some people might condiser him to have the makings of a stalker but i felt very touched. sometimes, living in a small town has its benefits. i won't go into the down side right now. i'm feeling too warm and fuzzy. i just got a look at myself in the mirror. scary!! for starters, i'm wearing a huge forest green fleece robe over black tights and fuzzy slippers. i'm also wearing a teal blue ski hat with a pom pom on the top of my head. i said i was feeling cozy, remember.

i got a part time job caring for a 20 year old girl who is a high functioning austistic. she comes over every afternoon at around 4:00 p.m. and we chat and play games. i bake muffins every day for a treat and i cook dinner for her ,too. it is very demanding. she loves attention and loves to talk. she also loves to eat. we listen to music and she beats me at the game 'set'. it is the weirdest card game ever.

i keep saying that the game should be called 'not a set' or 'unsettling' because it really requires thinking out of the box. a set can be three cards that are totally different and have no commonality, whatsoever. it blows my mind but it does help pass the time. she stays for 4 hours and i find myself totally exhausted afterwards. my grandson doesn't especially warm up to her or vice versa. yesterday, he joined us at dinner time and requested toast and cottage cheese with a side order of canned corn.

i decided that we should take a long walk. i was feeling very headachey. my sinuses were all blocked up. i had fallen off the diet wagon and had binged for a couple of days. being outside, was much more comfortable for me. we walked around the neighborhood for about an hour. i was instructed to encourage her to sit and read in silence for a 45 minute period. i willingly enforced it. it really helped me. listening to someone 'blebble on', as my mom used to call it, for 4 hours is a harsh and grueling task.

i have only met with this young lady three times. i don't know if i'll be able to make it through an entire month. i'm already out of food ideas. i am not used to cooking on a daily basis. i'm used to eating tuna and yogurt and nuts. i can't afford to serve her this. last night i served her an onion omelette, corn and mashed potatoes. i sliced up a tomato and green pepper into rings. she had a hard time with the concept. she liked her salad all cut up into small pieces. i handed her the knife and cutting board and told her to knock herself out.

i still have some corn mufins left over so i won't have to bake today. i might make her french toast for supper. i am trying to be economical here. i am not getting a lot of money for this gig. at this point, any amount will help pay the fuel bill.

i might have her make tahina and sesame cookies for a project today. if it's nice outside, i'll make her go for a walk again. last week, we went to town for a shopping outing. i bought more baby clothes and she bought a favorite game. it was a bit of a strain having someone with me when i shop.

so far, it's working out. i figure that no matter where i might work, that it will be hard. i'm used to being a caregiver and a babysitter. this way, i don't need to travel or even, leave my house. it isn't easy giving up my afternoons like this, but i really have no other choice. i don't seem to be able to get weekday rentals now. most people want to be downtown in the old city or artist colony these days.

Day After Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T03:58:00.000-08:00

it's 2:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. last night i got my 'second wind' and actually, got up and did most of the dishes. it would have been a disaster waking up to that humongus balagan.

i just got back from the grocery and spent 117 israeli dollars on: 5 small bananas (always thinking of potasium), 2 bags of milk (always have to have milk on hand for sahar), 4 cans of tuna ( a gal's got to have her protein), 1 non dairy whipping cream (was thinking about making banana icecream), 1 small sweet challah ( gal sure loves those expensive sweet challahs), 4 sweet challah rolls and 2 cans of sauerkraut (thinking about that huge package of weiners in the freezer).

it is about 2 hours before candlelighting. i still have to mop the floor. this morning i straightened out my matches and candles drawer. i usually do it before pesach but i got frustrated not being able to find my shabbat wicks. i've done all of my cooking. i made a chicken-beef-veggie and barley soup for one of my guests. i had 2 wings and a chicken breast left over from the whole chicken i bought last week. i didn't think it was rich enough, so i took a slab of meat from the cholent for tomorrow's lunch. i made instant couscous so i can serve a wing and the slice of beef for the main course.

i also made fresh corn on the cob as a side dish. i made a veggie-lentil soup for my vegetarian friend and some stewed fish with pumpkin for her main course. i'm thinking that i should probably, also, cook up some brown rice, but i am really all cooked out, at this point. too bad that she can't eat couscous. she has a problem with wheat and she also doesn't eat potatoes.

i made a fleishig cholent for zvi's lunch tomorrow and threw in a huge marrow bone. he's been hocking me to buy one for the longest while. they don't give them away for free here, like in the states. 4 bones cost me 25 shekels. gal doesn't like to eat meat during the day so i made a sweet potato and a couple of white potatoes to serve on couscous with corn. that's a nice lunch.

i have left over pumpkin cake and banana bread so i didn't bake anything. if they don't want any they can always eat package cookies. that's if they have any. i for sure, don't. are we having fun, yet? i'm slightly exhausted.

i had a bit of a run in with my daughter-in-law this morning over hot water, or the lack of it. she rung up here for me to turn on the water heater first thing in the morning. i obediently obliged. after a while, i did some more dishes and then turned off the heater. i then got an irate call from my son, informing me that his wife wanted to take a hot shower and there was no hot water.

i ran downstairs and informed my darling daughter-in-law that she should feel free to turn on the dude when she likes. she was outright mad at me. she had asked me to turn on the heater hours ago because she had wanted a hot shower then. she wasn't too thrilled about my suggesting that she turn on the heater by herself, either. i was also informed that both she and my son missed their showers yesterday. i didn't dare let her know that i only shower about once or twice a week these days. come on, how dirty can they be?

wishing everyone a good shabbos.

Bon Voyage

2011-11-24T10:36:00.000-08:00

it's 8:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i haven't been blogging because it's been too cold in my computer room. after awhile, i can't feel my fingers or toes. my guests just left. i threw a thanksgiving/farewell dinner fo a couple who are moving back to the states.

we have become good acquaintances lately. i've had them over for shavuot, rosh hashana, sukkot, assorted barbecues and my 60th birthday party. sarah and i share a passion/addiction for reality t.v. she predicted the breakup of kim kadarshian before anyone else. although she isn't observant yet, we have a good time together and we always keep it real.

they are heading back to florida. the economic situation here proved too much for them. thankfully, they have children and grandchildren back home in the same town. i am truly happy for them and hopeful that their new life there will be a bit easier. who would have believed that our golden years would be so unpredictable. i for one, cannot leave the country. i am way too settled here to even think about it. of course, while the kids are here, i'm not going anywhere.

i spent most of the day yesterday cooking a thanksgiving meal. i spent the entire week on the net looking up new recipes. last year, i made an elaborate, thanksgiving fantasy. this year, i went traditional but relied more on standard, comfort foods. last year, i made individual peanut butter and mashed sweet potato cups. this year, i made mashed potatoes. i even bought, non dairy cream to add for that extra smoothness.

i made a basil flavored mushroom and barley pilaf. i scooped out the bottom of a long pumpkin squash to use as a serving vessel for the pilaf but it was too small. i ended up making a small amount of sweet potato and carrot tsimmis with raisins and dried cranberries which was the perfect fit for the squash shell. i made a corn pudding instead of corn on the cob. actually, i read on a trivia site, that they never ate corn at the original thanksgiving. i did make my famous corn bread that everyone likes. you know, the one without flour.

i made a ground turkey sage dressing with chestnuts and dried cranberries. it was nothing more than a glorified meatloaf. i do have to admit, that it was, rather tastey. i baked pumpkin squash slices with a savory spice mix and topped it off with sesame seeds. i couldn't find fresh string beans so i settled for frozen. i didn't feel like spending extra money to buy the french cut ones. the short squat ones were on sale for only 10 shekels. i added a drizzle of olive oil and a generous amount of chopped almonds.

i made a small amount of basmati white rice for a friend who is on a really strange diet. i added a bit of tumeric for color. i didn't add any oil. i made a baked pumpkin pudding. it was supposed to be like pumpkin pie without the shell. it was awful! i substituted cooking cream for whipped cream and it was borderline disgusting. i gave the rest a way to one of the guests, who was probably, the only one who actually ate it. it was a tiny bit runny and eggy. it was nothing like pumpkin pie.

i made a really good cranberry relish. it was the first time ever, that i found frozen, whole cranberries in zefat. it was a small bag of gold but i had to quarter the recipe. it called for way, too much sugar. i actually, cut it down to 2 tablespoons of date syrup and 2 tablespoons of honey. it had cinnamon and cloves in it but you could only taste the cinnamon. i will definately, save this recipe for future use. i would add more celery next time.

i had nine turkey cutlets left in the freezer. i cut them in half and lightly dipped them in corn meal and slightly fried them in very little oil. i then cooked them for about 20 minutes in cranberry nectar and threw in a half a cup of raw cranberries. i added a bit of garlic and some allspice balls. they were a big hit. i wasn't all that excited. the fresh green salad was amazingly crisp and fresh. i made a lemon and olive oil dressing and served a bottle of thousand island dressing, too. it was also on sale for 10 shekels.

we ended up having a real treat. a good friend brought a box of after dinner chocolate mints. i haven't seen them in years. i tried hiding a few for tomorrow but i gave them up in the end. i made both a pumpkin cake and a banana bread. one friend made a pecan pumpkin cake and another made chocolate chip cookies. another friend brought some very weird looking fruit. they resemble a dinasaur or something prehistoric like that. i wouldn't have the faintest idea of how to eat them.

we had no shortage of wine. i made turkish coffee with shots of rum towards the end. i was going to do the dishes a little while ago but i finally feel the rum. i invited two friends to join me for shabbat dinner tomorrow. the kids are going out for night. i can make a simpler meal for night time and make a meat cholent for lunch. i'll just run out in the morning and buy some rolls.

it was a lovely evening. but it was a bit bitter sweet. i will miss my friends but i will try to communicate by email. i don't seem to be able to keep my eyes open. what a mess is left in the kitchen. i chose not to use plastic today. i wanted an elegant dinner party. i even put on a long evening type dress that was really a glorifed housecoat.

wishing you all a happy thanksgiving and a good shabbos! love, zelda

Mortified And Humbled

2011-11-04T03:31:00.000-07:00

it is 12:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. candlelighting is around 4:14 p.m. sahar got me up at 6:30 a.m. he needed an adult caregiver and a clean and dry diaper. he asked for choco milk. i had to run downstairs to retrieve a bottle. i put on the baby channel for him to watch. he wanted his play dough with him. he opened it on the pillow and held on to a piece. i was naturally, worried that it might get full of dog hair. something that would very much, displease his mom.

apparently, yesterday, cloey the dog rummaged through the downstairs' kitchen garbage pail and made quite a mess. i was apprised of this only this morning when cloey ran downstairs again. i don't complain about every mess their 2 year old son makes. why not afford me the same courtesy.

sahar and i went back downstairs around 8:00 a.m. his parents were just waking up. i 'apprised' his mom of the fact that he had already had a bottle, slice of bread and honey, and two boiled eggs sans the yellows. he gives them to the dogs.

i have already made a lemon cake and cooked the fish, rice, meatballs, and lentils for tonight's shabbat meal. the kids are going out for lunch. it is a relief for me. i really didn't feel like making 2 huge shabbat meals. i defrosted a few turkey cutlets that i will bread and fry up soon. i bought a can of chickpeas to make my own chumus. it really does not make a big difference in the price. i just feel like eating homemade chumus. i don't know about the kids' preference but probably, not.

i still need to cook up some hot tomato relish for tonight. i'll make a little egg salad, open a can of tuna, and cut up some tomatoes and cucumbers for an israeli salad, just in case the kids are all here for third meal. i still need to wash the floor and dust. the whole house is covered in a layer of soot. i suddenly feel really tired.

i' ve been on the 'south beach' all week long and haven't shed an ounce. what a drag! i think that i might be having an hysterical pregnancy as my stomach is actually, larger than my daughter-in-laws'. wouldn't that be something if we both gave birth at the same time! nothing short of miraculous, that is.

the kids wanted me to go with them to a family wedding on sunday. i decided that i would only go if i could get a ride home the same night. i really didn't want to leave the dogs alone overnight. as it turns out, there isn't any room for me on the return trip home, so i guess i am freed from this particular obligation. and i get to save a wad of dough, too.

i think i will try and get the heating fuel deivered on sunday. i gotta act fast as the 'allotted' amount for solar is going fast. i just had the most humiliating experience in the supermarket. i ran down to buy some challahs, even though i had a couple left over from last week, in the freezer. l know that the kids wouldn't enjoy their shabbat meal without fresh bread. i bought a dozen eggs, two bags of milk and some tomatoes. on my way to the counter i decided to buy some tuna and coffee.

i had only taken a 100 shekel note with me to buy veggies and bread. the bill was around 170 shekels. i quickly put back the coffee and was getting ready to put back the tuna when a young man paid the difference for me. it was about 25 shekels. i was mortified! i mean, i am not homeless. i simply didn't bring enough cash with me. the man told me to give the money to the shul for charity. i got outside and felt really small. i rummaged through my bag and came up with 20 shekekls in coins. i went back into the store but the man was gone already.

i give money to people all the time. it is shocking to say, but, more and more people, including young mothers and children, are panhandling in town, all the time now. there is one 'shnorer' who is situated regularly, in front of a certain supermarket. i have paid for strangers in the supermarket on more than one occassion. i was on the receiving end this time and it felt horrible. i don't know how people mooch money on a regular basis. i always try to preserve the dignity of the people who are requesting money. in my case, my pride before, was stopping me from allowing this man to do a good deed. i was preventing him from giving charity because i was embarrassed.

i think i will have a better understanding and appreciation of those less fortunate than me from now on. i will accept help from others without feeling inadequate or needy. i will allow others to also do mitzvahs. shabbat shalom! and may you be warm and comfortable.

No News Is Good News

2011-11-02T23:26:00.000-07:00

it's 8:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i got up at 7:00 a.m. and let the dogs out. i picked up my hamodia newspaper and came back into the house. it's really cold inside! it's dark and raining outside. what a shame that i never made it out for a walk yesterday.

i was planning on going over to the seniors' center this morning. i even thought about stopping at the city office first, to pay my tax bill. i really hate nasty weather. i haven't asked the kids if they are coming for shabbat. i went out last night to buy some veggies. i splurged on cottage cheese. i don't know if you have been kept abreast of the cottage cheese boycott here or not. an 8 0z. container of cottage costs about $2 here.

i also bought a few tomatoes and cucumbers, some hake fish, and a small package of fresh liver, just in case the kids do stay for shabbat. this cost me about $30. times are tough and prices are way out there. i was playing with the idea of making a thanksgiving dinner again this year but i don't think that i can afford to. last year i threw an authentic, retro dinner for about ten guests. i even had turkey napkins. this year i bought a paper turkey tablecloth.

if i do invite a few guests, the menu will be a lot simpler. i'll serve turkey cutlets instead of drumbsticks. i'll make pumpkin soup instead of pie. i'll make baked apples for dessert. i'll make a corn bread and add some cranberries. i bought some prepared chestnuts that can be made into a really delicious soup or dressing. i can always mash up a few potatoes. it can be a poor but festive thanksgiving afternoon meal.

i opened the newspaper to catch the headlines as i drank my morning java. "13 dead from snow storm in monsey" and "1 dead from terrorist rockets in the south". hundreds of thousands of students are reported to be at home. is this really true? where have i been all week? i normally do not read the news and i hardly ever watch the evening news. how is it that i thought the most urgent story of the day was kim kardashian's divorce??

after glancing through the hamodia and reading about the disasterous winter storm in monsey, the 56 year old man killed in his car by a grad missile, the dismantling of a well known israeli town, and other assorted disturbing news items, i began to shake. i immediately felt a quiver in my stomach and throat. i believe it is called agita.

i am in a state of panic. i don't want to leave the house now. i don't want to go to the family wedding in hadera on sunday, anymore. i don't want to get dressed. i don't want to think about anything. i feel paralyzed. my mother, may she rest in peace, was a politically savy person. at 91, she watched the kinesset hearings everyday and agonized over the news, nightly. i finally forbade her to read the news online. one of the last things she asked before she died, was if we still had a country left.

i try not to put any faith in government. i do not believe in any politicians. i pride myself in not believing the news. i trust in the Lord up above. i pray that things will turn around. i throw simple dinner parties with silly napkins to give each of us a lift. unfortunately, every now and then, i lose myself and begin to doubt my faith. i fall victim to the news.

No Service

2011-11-02T02:39:00.000-07:00

it's 11:30 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i was planning on paying my city tax bill in town this morning but the hours just slipped away. i was in the middle of watching a documentary on the late, michael jackson, and i must have fallen asleep. pretty lame, i know. when i got up, i noticed that there was no longer any cable connection. i know better than to try and deal with them by myself. anyway, i still have internet.

i started the 'south beach' diet this week. i really needed something serious. the problem is that i don't really have anything 'appropriate' in the house to cook. i'm simply, not in the mood to food shop, either. i have been consuming a lot of eggs lately. i don't dare check my cholesterol levels although i know that recent studies okay eating eggies.

last night i threw 2 prepared hamburgers into a can of spicy canned beans. i have a huge appetite and a sedentary lifestyle, unfortunately. that doesn't make for a huge weight loss. i just can't get motivated to move. who knows, i might just walk down to town in a little while and visit a gal pal. maybe she'll feel like cooking up some lunch for us. who knows? stranger things have happened.

i spent the entire day yesterday, doing a bunch of laundry. it was finally sunny after a few days of overcast weather. it actually rained a bit at the beginning of the week. the stone houses are already very cold. i was working on accumulating enough money to pay for half a tank of fuel. however, i have other expenses that take precedence. are you really wondering what could be more important than heat? let's try electricity, and paying off the gardener, for starts. let's not even talk about the water bill, please!

i have been addictively, watching several of 'the real housewife' series here in my home in zefat. i would love to do a spin off of the 'real housewives of zefat'. i wonder if the bravo company would pick it up. why not? we can speak 'lashon hara' with the best of them.

so, when i'm not watching and discussing the 'housewives' with my cronies, i'm watching and getting caught up in sahar's life. the other day, he emphatically, told one of the dogs, that i was not her grandmother. oh please bless the terrible two stage! only a grandmother can get a kick out of it, right? i don't even want to remember when my son was that age. the kids aren't too keen on it, i have to admit. they are really amateurs!

i have been bathing sahar up here all week long. he prefers the jacuzzi bathtub to a shower. can you blame him? when he's ornary and not willing to disrobe, i encourage him to bring a favorite toy or chotchka into the tub and that usually works. i never bathed my son every day. it's too late to call the authorities, as i'm pretty sure that the statute of limitations has expired.

my generation was more laid back and less germaphobic. we believed in letting the skin breath. i never slathered him in baby oil or creams. when he began to smell like a billy goat he got bathed. i don't get this squeaky clean generation, at all.

oh cable just came back. gotta go!

Keeping Busy

2011-10-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i have nearly finished doing the dishes left over from shabbat. my son told me that it was a nice shabbat. i worked very hard to make a decent meal. after the long holiday, i was really not in the mood to cook any more. i had left over meatballs in artichoke bottoms that i 'refreshed' with a splash of tomato juice.

i was planning on making chicken cutlets for dinner. i had sahar with me all day long. we shlepped down to the super to buy challahs and veggies. i put him in the shopping wagon for a ride. he wasn't all that happy. we stopped off to put the empty plastic bottles in the recycling cage. they have them now practically, on every block. sahar loves putting the bottles in the holes. i bought him some bambas that put him in a better mood. he also loves dried banana chips.

the store was out of chicken. there were two slimy chicken steaks in the fridge, that never made it to the holiday barbecue. i shredded them and made up a soup for the couscous. i threw in canned chickpeas, pumpkin, onions, squash, potatoes and tomatoes. i added a sufficient amount of chili to spice it up. i cooked up some fresh corn, too.

i made a vegetarian cholent with white potatoes, sweet potatoes and barley. i bought icecream and cones for a shabbat treat. for a change, i baked a banana cake with both white sugar and flour. it went in a big way. i forgot to buy chumus so i made some from a partial can of chick peas and tahina paste. i made a tossed green lettuce salad with tomatoes. i grated two raw beets with a splash of lemon. i was economizing.

i spent the entire sunday doing the kids laundry. i watched sahar in the late afternoon when he came back from daycare. i spent monday morning taking down the sukkah decorations and curtains. it looked like rain. it only took an hour, where as, it took over 3 hours to string up the plastic fruits, in the first place. i washed the sukkah curtains, immediately, and put them away for next year.

i had to pick up sahar from daycare at 3:30 p.m. as the kids went off to tel aviv to buy new shoes for the store. i picked him up in a cab and returned home in a cab. i stopped off briefly at the store to buy some milk. when i got home i discovered that we were out of diapers. we headed out, once more, to the super. i took him in his bicycle/ buggy. he wanted to go out on his scooter, but i knew better than to attempt that.

the kids called from tel aviv and wanted to stay the night. i honestly, didn't mind. sahar was tired and nearly asleep. it didn't seem that hard to manage until the morning. however, the kids decided to come home. i was nearly asleep on their couch when they got back. it was around 1:30 a.m. sahar had just gotten up but returned to sleep with a warm bottle of milk. gal brought home a lot of boxes of shoes. i carried in the heavy boxes and quickly organized them. they are stored on the shelves in the laundry room. i emptied a top shelf to make room for more of the shoes. by the time gal arrived home, it was all done. i even threw out the cartons.

i watched sahar yesterday from 4:30 p.m. til 8:00 p.m. today, i spent the morning in bed. i was rather tired. i finally got up in the late afternoon to dismantle the sukkah. i removed the wooden boards and started to tape them together. it makes it a lot easier when they are in bundles. i was whacking away at the metal bars when my neighbor came by to help. he was very upset that i hadn't asked for help. i honestly, only ask for help, when i can't physically lift something. he unhinged all the bars and carried them downstairs for me. i placed them all back into the storage area.

zvi came back and was astonished that it was all 'magically' done. i let him know that the neighbor had done most of the work. zvi, actually, sat down to talk with me. one of the rare occurances since he got married nearly 3 years ago. we seemed to have 'bonded' again lately. i guess it's never too late.

we are all feeling a bit anxious about the arrival, soon to be, of the new baby. apparently, my daughter-in-law plans to come home straight from the hospital this time. you may remember, that i started my blog about 2 years ago because i was so stressed out about the new baby being at the other family for the first month. i didn't get to hold him for the first month.

i am a bit fearful that i will be expected to help out a lot more this time. i can't imagine taking care of both children at the same time. i have already been informed that sahar will need a lot of attention. thank goodness, that he will be in daycare til 4:00 p.m. i can't imagine giving him any more attention than i already give. i hang on his every word. i sit snd watch him ride his scooter. i sit and watch cartoons with him. i sit and watch videos on you tube with him. i watch him in his bath, while he swims and splashes and gets me all wet.

as it is, we are attached at the hip when we're together. i am not much of a baby person. they, honestly, scare me. i like them around 6 months old when they are already people. i am very over weight right now and desparately, need to trim down before the new baby arrives. i am eating everything right now but eliminating sugar from my diet. i can't seem to get back on my 'south beach' right now.

Holidays End

2011-10-20T09:54:00.000-07:00

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. the 8 day holiday of sukkot has finally come to an end. the people in town and in many shuls all over the town will be rejoicing and playing music, while the men dance with torahs. i'll be in my warm bed. i'm exhausted.

i had guests for meals in the sukkah on wednesday night, thursday afternoon, friday evening and saturday afternoon, tuesday afternoon and evening, and then again on wednesday afternoon. i stayed in on sunday all by myself and i went out for a birthday sukkah party on monday. i baked a lovely white cake with whipped cream icing for the birthday 'boy'. he turned 60 or something around that number.

i have to cook for shabbat meals tomorrow and i am simply, not up for it. i had to watch sahar on wednesday, so i did the cooking at night. i'll probably have him again tomorrow, so i will have to make a simple meal. i am perfectly serious. there will be no 10 salads tomorrow. i will not make a cooked for 2 hours sephardi tomato salad. they will be lucky if i make an egg salad. i will buy humus.

i woke up this morning at 6:30 a.m. i had some coffee and cake and davened. i didn't wait until i got to shul. i figured that i would be busy with my grandson and i was right. i shlepped him to shul at around 9:30 a.m. he stayed with his dad in the mens' section and all the little children were placed under a large tallis and were blessed. the sephardi ladies threw candies at the men. the kids scrambled to catch and collect the toffees. all the kids were given goodies bags.

my grandson sat happily on a bench, eating a bag of colored and sugar coated puffed wheat cereal. i had to shlepp him home because he pooped and i didn't bring a spare diaper. he managed to throw all of the puffed cereal all over the couch and in all its' crevices. i quickly sweeped it all up and shlepped him back to shul. it is only 2 blocks away but very hard when a 2 year old wants to be carried.

the service was lovely, not that i could follow a word of it. we got out at around 11:30 a.m. i went over to the chabad shul/bomb shelter on the next street. they were having a meal. i mean a seudah. salads, herring, challah, tuna fish, meat cholent, vodka, the works. the womens' section was trashed. i hung out for nearly 3hours just to say 'yizkor'. one of the leaders of the shul was so drunk that he forgot to announce the yizkor prayer.

when i got home the kids had already done a barbecue and seemed satisfied. my friend had put the rest of the food on the platter so that i walked in to hot food. what a pleasure! i took 2 sips of my son's arak and grapefruit drink cocktail and i lost all sense of time and space. i just polished off the rest of the barbecue. my grandson calls it fire.

we had a particularly, emotionally, difficult day on tuesday. we all watched with baited breath, the return of kidnapped soldier, gilad shalit. we all cried our hearts out with gladness and outrage that he was held and mistreated for 5 and a half years. we all couldn't really believe that he was sent home alive and in tact. it was all too intense. we were all jewish mothers watching our collective son come home. trust me, it took all of our strength. and then there were those who truly suffered watching their loved ones' murderers set free. that's another story for another time.

all in all, i had 18 guests during sukkot. that's 'chai', life in hebrew. i had two new guests this holiday. one was a delightful and bright lady. the other was an oppressed and tortured soul. there are just, so many different stories here in the holy city of zefat.

i do not have the umph to do the dishes tonight. i can't imagine wasing the floors, either. we didn't take down the sukkah tonight. i honestly, hate to see it go. it was my best sukkah to date. i called down to my son to take out the trash. i got undressed and took it out myself. the air was so fresh and envigorating. it's beginning to get cold.

we are all through with holidays for a while. we won't have another holiday until chanukah. i'll try to throw my annual latke night again this year. i'm already thinking about tu b'shvat. i throw a fruit extravaganza every year. it won't be until the end of january. but i'm already planning the menu.

the more i think about shabbat, the more i want to simplify the menu. afterall, we ate meat and fish all week long. i wouldn't mind a veggie shabbat but the kids would never go for it. i think it will be a chicken cutlet, couscous and veggies supper. i will make one tossed salad and put out some chumus. there are a few meatballs leftover, too. lunch will be a veggie cholent. i have leftover chopped liver for the carnivores among us.

this holiday, i made a lot of vegetarian dishes. i made a raw cake from carob powder, dates, coconut and nuts. it tasted just like a marzipan bar. i made red lentil and pumpkin soup. i made brown rice kugel with soy milk and dates. i made a split pea casserole. i made wheat free corn muffins with soy milk. i also cooked 3 types of fish ( salmon fillet, niles perch fillet, and st. peter's fillet) in 3 different sauces.

i may not make fish tomorrow. we'll see. it will be very hard shlepping back from the store with the bundles and sahar. last couple of times, i hailed a taxi to take me 2 city blocks. i am really tired so i will hit the couch. i'm still fleishig, so i'll have to drink a black coffee. shabbat shalom!

More Holidays

2011-10-11T04:20:00.000-07:00

it's 2:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i know that i haven't been 'in touch' with you guys, lately. to tell you the truth, i had a complete meltdown after rosh hashana. i pulled a 15 hour gig the day before the chag and i was totally wrecked afterwards. i had invited five friends to join me for the first night of the chag. 3 of which showed up with their 3 dogs.

the kids informed me that they would be here for the entire 2 day chag. you may remember that i had cooked and baked for the 4 holiday meals in advance. i did make the 2 kinds of gefilte fish the day before. i spent all of wednesday watching my grandson. i did the minimum amount of work, as he napped. i had done the floors the night before and also set the table. gal hadn't been feeling well so they went over to the emergency room at around 11:00 p.m. i watched sahar until 2:00 a.m. he woke up and it took me nearly an hour to get him back to sleep. thankfully, the kids returned. gal was a bit dizzy and hyper-ventilating for a short while, but eventually, she calmed down and i went back upstairs. i didn't easily, fall asleep, as you can imagine.

i was planning to take it easy over shabbat and rest. the kids then informed me that they would be going out for the second night of the chag to the other family. i had already taken out the sausy chicken, meatballs in tomato sauce and the beef cooked in wine, to defrost. i simply, put the saucy chicken back into the freezer. they then informed me that they were planning on making a barbecue for the day meal. i put the meatballs back into the freezer and took out the chicken wings to defrost. i figured that i wouldn't need to cook for the next couple of holiday meals. i figured that i would stay at shul a little longer and have some leftovers by myself.

i tried to stay calm and go with the flow. i tried being both, easy and breezey. i stood on my feet frying chips for their barbecue, something that had once been unthinkable to me. i stuffed my face with the majority of the chips, as none of the kids had room for them. i took sahar out for a walk so he could get a nap. i had wanted to go with the kids on thursday night. just as they were about to leave, i suddenly, started having back spasms. i was completely miserable so i decided to stay home, alone. i was then informed that the kids would be returning for the shabbat.

the next morning, i defrosted the saucy chicken and went off to shul alone. later that day, i made some instant couscous, and prepared some st. pete fish fillets in a sauce that my daughter-in-law loves. i had left over beef, tsimmis and cooked beets but still, i scrambled to make a couple of fresh salads. it was a bit of a strain because the shabbat came in pretty early.

a friend had came by for friday lunch and we managed to feast on leftovers. we were involved in a serious rap when i looked over at the clock and began to panick. i had about an hour left before candlelighting. anyhow, i did manage to get everything on to the electric platter on time. another friend came over to join me for shabbat dinner but the kids were a no show. i became pretty undone. the weather was great so i knew that wasn't a factor. i had reached the end of my rope.

the kids did come home at 11:00 p.m. and i was fit to be tied. i didn't want to deal with them at all. my son and i had words the next day. he apparently, didn't like the looks i was casting him when he came back from shul. they got up after the meal to go for a 'stroll'. i was informed that they were going back to gal's family for the rest of the day and would be having the third meal there.

i fell apart after the holiday. i didn't clean up or do the dishes. i still haven't closed the table. i stayed in bed the entire week and binged 24/7. i became addicted to the 'real housewives of n.y.' and gained about 10 pounds. i was in a huge funk. the kids didn't talk to me either. i didn't see my grandson, once that week. they went to the in-laws for yom kippur. i stayed here by myself. i spent the entire day in shul. i broke the fast alone. i felt all alone.

i spent the entire day after the fast, doing the kids' laundry. i worked from 10:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. hanging clothes outside in the hot sun. yes, we are having a major heatwave in the middle east. it is very interesting, to say the least.

the kids are going, once again, to the in-laws for the first night of sukkot. i will be in my sukkah with a few of my friends. i already cooked up some beef and meatballs in wine. i haven't decided on the side dishes yet. i am planning on poaching a salmon fillet in white wine, too. i have another couple of friends coming over for thursday lunch. i'll make split peas, brown rice, and pumpkin and stewed fish for my veggie friend. i think i'll make mashed potatoes and string beans for my carnivor friends. a friend is bringing over a banana cake. maybe i'll make baked apples for dessert.

the kids will be here for shabbat. whoopdie doo! why am i feeling less than thrilled? i am waiting for my son to come home to assemble the sukkah. i am feeling a bit tired. i have been shopping til i'm dropping for this holiday. i hope i get to relax and enjoy this chag.

Happy New Year Really

2011-09-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

it is 1:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just finished sponging the floors. the kids went to haifa to pick up gal's sister. she apparently, is very sick and couldn't get on the bus to come for the holidays. i am upstairs listening for sahar. he has been sleeping through the night lately.

i started my new year's preparations at 10:00 a.m. this morning. i didn't stop for a break. i ran downstairs to do some wash. i stripped the couches and beds and did the covers and sheets. it was sunny so i got to hang it all outside. i worked for a staight 15 hours. i hope i'll have some strength to watch sahar tomorrow.

i made most of the symbolic foods today. i still have to depit the pomegranate tomorrow. every year i say that i am going to count the pips to see if there really are 613. i don't think i'll even try this year. i roasted the pumpkin in olive oil and added a pinch of coriander. i also did the same for the leeks but they seemed too dry so i added a bit of water to revive them.

i fried up some onions to add to the tsimmis and added a bit of tumeric as well as the cinnamon. i also gtated a bit of fresh ginger for a bit of a zing. i cooked the carrots, sweet potatoes, raisins and prunes until they were nice and thick. i drizzled a bit of honey for fun.

i braised the beet leafs with fresh garlic, onions and basil. i steamed the long, skinny, string beans with a bit of garlic, too. i cooked the beets and added a lot of lemon. i resisted the old urge to add honey. i cooked the gefilte fish and two fish heads in water with a lot of carrots and onions. half way through, i added some of the pieces with a slice of niles perch to a pot of very spicy tomato sauce. i had frozen the left over sauce from the lasagnas that i had made for sahar's birthday. i added some chili powder and a lot of fresh cilantro. i hope it gets eaten.

i made a small amount of curried brown rice. i added carrots, onions, apples and raisins and finished up an opened can of coconut milk . i also made a paste like substance by adding too much water to the red lentils and onions. it is a really weird consistency but it tastes delicious. i ate a huge bowl of it for lunch. i bet there is a word for this in indian cuisine.

i didn't make a sweet noodle pudding. maybe i'll find the time tomorrow. or maybe i won't. i'm thinking about mashed potatoes. i think i still need something to accompany the meat. i don't know if everyone will eat the tsimmis. for sure, the celiac won't touch it. perhaps, i can just cook up some plain flat noodles, and not turn it into a kugel. i also have a bag of bow ties. who knows? the sky's the limit!

the kids told me this evening, that they were going to spend the second night of rosh hashanna at gal's parents. they will have lunch there too. they are planning on returning for shabbat. as i mentioned in yesterday's blog, i had already cooked 3out of the 4 yom tov meals. oh well! i guess i'll have it easy for the next holiday, as long as the freezer holds out.

a little while later, the kids told me that they were planning on making a barbecue with another couple for the yom tov lunch. perfect! i will stay late in shul and enjoy the davening. i was planning on leaving early so that the kids wouldn't be left waiting for me. the chabad minyan starts really late. i'll either have some of my leftovers when i get back or enjoy some of their barbecued meat. we'll see. i'll defrost some chicken wings, buy some corn tomorrow, and make them a huge green salad. and that's it.

i don't know if any of my friends are planning to be here for lunch or second night dinner. if i knew the kids weren't going to be here i would have invited guests for the second night, instead.

i am just going with the flow and staying calm. whatever is meant to be, will be.

have a really wonderful new year!

Happy New Year

2011-09-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

it's 9:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. we are closing in on the jewish new year. the holiday starts on wednesday night. it continues until after the shababt. that's seven festive meals we must create. afterwards, we fast on the following sunday.

i already cooked 3 of my main dishes. they are in the freezer in cooking bags. i find it much easier to defrost this way. you just pop a bag into boiling water and a short while later, voila!

i made a roast in a sweet red wine, meatballs in tomato sauce that will be topped over artichoke bottoms, and some spicy sephardi chicken bottoms. i baked 4 honey cake loaves this evening, an apple cake, one pan of honey bars and another pan of date bars. i still have a carrot cake loaf with cream cheese icing in the freezer from last shabbat. i'm pretty sure that i have over done it. i plan to give a way a few of the honey cakes to friends and family.

the apple cake is still in the oven. i used white sugar and flour for a change and i don't really know how to deal with it. i bought all of the veggies and fruits for the holiday. i only need to buy challahs on wednesday. i put in an order for my girl friend to make me some round whole wheat challahs. yummy!

i'm still debating on making a sweet noodle kugel. i am planning on doing the rest of my cooking tomorrow. i have to babysit sahar on wednesday and it will be too hectic to do anything else except perhaps, make a green salad. i want to make gefilte fish with a spicy tomato sauce. there is no way that gal or zvi will eat the ashkanazi sweet kind of fish. i am too afraid that the fish will fall apart in the tomato sauce so i'll make it the regular way, in water, and then bake it in the sauce. maybe i'll add a chili pepper. i have some niles perch slices to add to the pot, too.

i want to make a sephardi carrot and sweet potato tsimmis. the secret is fried onions and a touch of tumeric. i have raisins and prunes to add to the concoction.
i have to make a pot of brown rice for a friend who is vegetarian and celiac. she also doesn't do sugar. are we having fun yet? believe it or not, she can have pumpkin. i always cook the symbolic foods for new year's in soy sauce. zvi loves it. not this time. my friend cannot have soy sauce with wheat and i never made it over to the health food store to check out the wheat free kind.

zvi complains that he doesn't like my ashkanazi rosh hashana food. i have never used lemon, vinegar, or anything else that is sharp. i have always drizzled honey over every single dish. not this year. i will make every dish hot and spicy.

i have been surfing the internet for days looking up interesting recipes. i simply, have to put myself on auto pilot tomorrow and work hard. i will need to do the floors, too. i was thinking about visiting the seniors before the holiday. i haven't seen them in over a month. it will be hard to go tomorrow. i guess i'll see where i am holding.

i finally went to see the doctor last week. i felt sure that i had bronchitis. i have been feeling fluish for a month. i lost my voice several times. i coughed non stop and found it hard to swallow. the doctor didn't see anything. he said it could have been viral. he called it 'saftas' disease. always watching a kid and catching his runny nose. go know!

wishing you all a good, sweet, new year!!!!

Sick Again

2011-09-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i have been really sick for the past two weeks. my grandson was also sick. he supposedly has bronchitis. i don't have a clue of what i have. yesterday my throat was burning and i lost my voice. i spent the day coughing. i had a fever. i kept a cool rag around my forehead and throat.

i had the chills. it is rather hot in zefat but i've been lying around in a fleece lounging robe. i've been too sick to change. when i put the fan on i get too cold. i am too hot without the fan so i spend the day switching the fan on and off.

we had a party for sahar's turning 2 on monday night. it was requested that i make a couple of lasagnas and cheesecake for the meal and dessert. i was literally, in bed and found it very hard to function. i had run to the store on sunday to buy the noodles and cheeses. i made sure to buy the correct 'heckshers' because i had invited my family to join us for the party. i took the liberty of shopping for food for the upcoming jewish holidays, too.

the freezer is stocked with beef, liver, chopped meat and assorted fish. i even bought the traditional fish heads for rosh hashana night. the pantry is loaded with oil, honey and wine. i will eventually, need to buy grape juice and fruits and veggies. it is much easier planning holiday meals than shabbat meals. i try not to make anything sharp or tart for rosh hashana. i throw honey into every dish. i throw some rolled beef into a pot of sweet wine and voila! i guess i can always throw in some carrots, too. i probably, will throw the meatballs into the sweet wine, too.

i'm planning on sauteing half the liver with white wine and onions and using the other half to make chopped liver with boiled eggs and fried onions. this year rosh hashana starts on wednesday night and continues straight into the shabbat. that's 7 meals we must prepare. i have no idea who is coming yet for any of the meals. i am planning on inviting some adult guests for the first night. the kids are welcome to join me if they wish.

i was just told that they are planning on 'dining' with me this shabbat. i am not feeling well enough to go downstairs to shop. i'll have to shop, cook and clean tomorrow. are we having fun yet? so first thing tomorrow morning, i'll return the empties to the store and buy eggs, potatoes, milk, and veggies.

the kids have been, pretty much, living separately from me lately. it feels strangely, okay. they are beginning to raise their son, finally, by themselves. i haven't been called upon to babysit or put him to sleep. in a way, it's very liberating. they have to figure out what works for them as a unit. i'm always here in a pinch, but they are concentrating on managing on their own. i'm greatly, relieved.

a friend called the other day to implore me to stop blogging about them. she was afraid of the backlash/fallout if someone read my blog. i almost welcome all of them to read my blog and really understand how i feel most of the time. things have quieted down alot here since the big explosion. we are all pretty anxious about the new addition that will be arriving in december.

so i will simply focus on making shabbat meals and getting the house up to snuff. there is a lot of dog hair all over the place, as usual. i recently found a home for the little male chihwahwa, paco. it is a lot quieter and less smelly without him. he is well suited for his new family and we 'girls' are getting used to being the 3 'bitches' once again.

Quiet Tme

2011-09-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

it is 6:45 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i am by myself. i just got back from town. i spent the day at the seniors' center. i hadn't made it over there in weeks.
it was a hot day.

i spent hours yesterday bailing out water from the pool. the grass already looks greener today. so does the remaining water in the pool. after a particularly, rowdy group of 20 or more paying guests used the pool for a few days, it was pretty much trashed for the season. there is just so much bleach you can add to the water. people bathing in full attire and velour robes, just isn't right.

i went to a sheva bracha yesterday for my suishi lady. i have known her for 18 years. i haven't been in a social gathering all year long. i was having a major anxiety attack. my carrot cake was dry and the cream cheee icing was melting. thank goodness, my gal pal had given me the day before, a lovely, dramatic looking, cotton shift house dress that was flattering on me and quite attrative. i had the perfect matching head scarf, to boot.

my dress and matching scarf, as well as my carrot cake, were the hit of the party. i had made one for shabbat. it was in honor of my daughter-in-law's upcoming birthday. it was the best carrot cake that i have ever made. it was very high and moist. the icing was perfection. i had a couple of slices by myself before shabbat.

the kids never got around to sampling the cake. zvi woke up late on saturday morning. he couldn't find his prayer shawl and rushed out of the house to catch the rest of the minyan. he didn't even have time to have a cup of coffee. my grandson came up at 7:00 a.m. i was in the process of making him a bottle. his mom didn't come up until after 10:00 a.m.

she couldn't tolerate the lack of air in my apartment and the excess dog hair around the furniture. she freaked out when she saw random dog hairs on her son's naked chest. i had removed his shirt because he seemed a bit feverish. i had left the windows closed to keep out the heat. i hadn't had the chance to change my dog hair ridden bed clothes yet. it was a mess. she ran off to her sister's house on the next street with sahar. she refused my offer of cake and coffee.

i had gone to her parents' house for the evening shabbat meal against my better judgement. i really had wanted to stay home and chill out by myself. we had hosted nearly 40 paying guests all week long and i had taken care of the grandkid all by myself. i was beyond tired. my legs hurt. my thighs hurt. i didn't want to walk the 30 minutes or more home. i had fallen down the day before and my back hurt.

the walk home was awkward. i followed the kids behind by some 10 paces. the kids had a fight on the way home. i was left pushing the sleeping kid in the stroller up hill all the way home, all by myself. it was most unnerving. i had bothered making an entire lunch for the kids. i had left the electric hotplate on to heat up the mashed potato kugel. i had struggled in the heat to shlepp down to the market and lugged home drinks, and a huge watermelon. i made several salads, cut open the entire watermelon, and rinsed a few bags of romaine lettuce. i made a carrot cake and frosted it, and baked a potato kugel for the kids. i even bought treats.

my son came home from shul at 11:00 a.m to let me know that they had made other plans for lunch. i was invited to join them but i declined their 'gracious' offer. i was not at all pleased with them. i was mourning the added expense of the groceries and all of the waisted hours spent preparing the meal. all i had wanted, was to hang in the pool by myself. i decided to catch up on my psalms.

the kids returned a little while later. my son felt guilty. when i didn't rush over to join them for lunch, there was a huge outburst. they ended up having a giant fight downstairs and i left home. i sat in the park for a couple of hours, reading tehillim.

no one had lunch. my son threatened to move out. i actually, wanted him to go, too. i was miserable and guilty. i got sick. i kept on rehashing the details leading up to the explosion. i kept on asking myself what i could have and should have done to keep the peace. my son didn't speak to me for a couple of days. i didn't see the baby or my daughter-in-law for a few days. i completely missed her birthday this year. the kids spent the day in haifa and there was no surprise party.

we finally made up over the phone. everyone told each other that we loved one another. we were all over tired from the herculean task of renting out the downstairs. i decided to start leaving the house again. getting back into a schedule and activities. i found my old cell phone and recharged it. i gave the number to the kids. instead of my always being home and on the couch 24/7, they can now call me on the phone whenever they need me.

i stopped off in town to buy gal a birthday gift. i didn't torture myself by trying to buy perfume for her. i bought a couple of expensive chatchkas. i spent about $40. i know that's cheap but she already got a very expensive gift from my son, her husband. i already spent my 'wad' of cash on repairs for the kid's apartment and the water bill. i didn't get any rent money from the kids this month, either. all in all, it was a rough summer.

i bought some good dark belgian chocolate to make bride and groom molds for my neighbor's daughter. her wedding is on monday. she is having a sheva bracha on wednesday. i also bought a plastic container that looks like a bottle of champagne, to showcase the chocolates. i bought myself a new top to wear to the wedding. i am tired of trying to squeeze into my old clothes. my stomach is really huge. i need subterfuge. i still may have to go out again and buy a skirt or long sleeve shift.

it's nearly midnite and the kids are in tiberius. they just called to ask me to make shabbat meals for them. here we go again! shabbat shalom!!! and chodesh tov and happy neaw year!!!!

Camping In

2011-08-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

it is midnight here in the holy city of zefat. the kids just went out to eat some local thai food in the neighborhood. sahar was still awake. we just had 12 paying people arrive who are staying downstairs for 3 days.

the kids are camping upstairs with me. they gave up their 5 room apartment to make some money this summer. their shoe shop has been very slow this month. we miracuously, had last minute renters before shabbat and the realtor just brought over a group this evening. i should say, rather, this night. he called us at 10:00 p.m. the entire town is renting out their homes. gal and i scrambled to add mattresses, sheets and pillows. the place was more or less in order. sahar was doing summersaults off the mattresses.

some people in zefat are making out like bandits. we are on the low end of the spectrum because we don't have airconditioning. the nights have been so chilly here that you really need blankets. the folks from the center of the country do not rent without airconditioning. hence, we lower our price.

the guests seem nice enough. they promise to be out for most of the day. last year i had a large family here who stayed downstairs all day long. the mother cooked all day and everyone had to have a hot shower. despite, a record heat wave that had us all melting, they insisted that i turn on the hot water boiler. they even filled up a pool with my water. their 3 day stint here cost me a $50 water fine. what was i to do? i was desperate for cash.

this realtor has been calling us all week long with all sorts of offers of groups. he doesn't call before midnight. not one of his leads paid off until tonight. the family from last year called a few weeks ago but i told them that we were no longer renting. i wasn't sure if the kids really wanted to bother. they surely do and we are all hustling to make the bucks before september.

so far we've made only about $1500. we split it down the middle. it will pay for a month's rent of the shoe store and hopefully, my water bill and city tax. i had to replace the toilet tank downstairs, so there went half of my profit. what can you do?

we just had a 3 day klezmer music festival in zefat. i didn't leave my house or neighborhood for the duration of the festival. sahar went to his other grandma all week long. i stayed in and watched television and stuffed face. zvi worked until 1:00 a.m. each night at the winery tourist center and gal stayed at the shoe store until 11:00 p.m. we are all on financial survivial mode.

i was planning on visiting the seniors on thursday but i got a call from a group of 10 who were desperately seeking a place to sleep in this area. they were hardly here. the place was untouched. we really locked out with that group. the realtor, is another story. he is a price gouger and takes 20 to 30% from us. we are at his mercy. it's not nice at all.

my niece and family are in from india and we still haven't gotten together with the kids for a play date. my nephew just came in before shabbat and we haven't connected with him, either. i'd love to make a dinner for them. we'll see. gal and zvi don't usually come home until after 8:00 p.m. i think it's hard for my niece to deal with two small kids now. anyway, the downstairs will be off limits until wednesday.

it's a bit hard on sahar. he doesn't quite understand why he can't go 'upstairs'. that's what he calls the downstairs. it's equally frustrationg for the dogs. i don't have leashes for them. it's a bit of a strain. the things we do for money, heh!

Back To Business

2011-08-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

it's 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. we are all busy trying to get the house ready for tourists. we survived the 24-25 hour fast which ended on tuesday night and went into work mode on wednesday.

i couldn't, exactly, jump out of bed yesterday. i was sore and dry. i stayed in bed until the afternoon. i then got up and started gathering the laundry. i had nine days worth of wash to do. the 'baby' has been sick and throwing up lately. the dogs have busy pishing on my beds. how absolutely, lovely!

i rearranged the clothes closets downstairs for the kids. i reattached some of the shelves that had been used to keep the dogs out of several of our rooms, for the past few years. sahar will be moving into an adjoining bedroom this winter with the advent of a new arrival. that's right, we are 'expecting' again. i say 'we' because we are all involved in this process. and, if you saw my bloated stomach, you'd think that i was the pregnant one.

a real estate agent came over to check out our premises. we took photos and set up props. we are all prepared to camp out together on one floor and rent the other two floors to make some cash. we are all hurting, financially, right now. the store had a very slow month and the kids are quite anxious to make some cash.

i had a builder come by to give me a quote for making a separate entrance for the studio apartment. that was last week and he never came back. there just isn't any income coming in right now. it's all about the $. i hate the enormous pressure that we're all under right now.

i have some red eye like infection going on right now and reading is almost impossible. of course, i ran out of eye drops, not that they have been so effective. my right eye is always burning. i think that i may have had a bells palsey blow up. my right cheek has had little feeling. here we go again.

i have been very busy with sahar, recently. he has championed 'terrible two's' to another level. oh please grant me the strength! he comes up here every day for his morning bottle. he will fling anything in his eye's presence at the dogs. it can be a shoe or some lego, or even a broom. he's fast. the dogs are traumatized. i have been a victim of his 'arm' quite often, too. are we having fun yet?

i haven't made it over to the senior's in a while, so i am hoping to get over there this morning. i have had a stomach bug two weeks in a row. it may be a reaction to the new remedy that i took. i have been a lot calmer about family issues lately, but i have been a lot less healthy, too. i think that the whole, recent, facial paralysis virus thing, is a result of the remedy. i need to write to my homeopath today.

i went to see my sister this week. it has been months, since our blow out. my niece and her family are in from india for the month. i finally got to meet my 9 month old grand niece. she is so lively! her older brother was more contained. he didn't remember me. he doesn't see me because i can't skype. i still haven't bought a camera. this normally, would have sent me into an emotional tail spin, but not so, now. i invited them over for a pool day. the only problem is that sahar is sick.

my sister and i hugged and kissed goodbye. it was a beginning. i still have issues. who doesn't. i still feel left out of the loop. but i have to learn to get over it. i have to focus on the good in my life. i have to stop having expectations. we all have to start loving freely. less judging and more loving!

The 3 Weeks Are Upon Us

2011-07-26T02:54:00.000-07:00

it's 1:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. sahar is napping so i decided to blog. it's been some time. i've been taking care of sahar a lot lately. i know that i went slightly mad while the kids were in eilat. i wanted equal custody of sahar.

since they came back. i've been saddled with taking care of sahar. no discussion, as usual. i think there are some issues with the family dynamics, which i'm not privy to. i guess it's for the best. i really don't want to be a part of the situation. i just want to support them lovingly and help them out when i can.

i was having terrible thoughts and fantasies, of a custody battle with the in - laws. it disturbed me greatly, even imagining, the unimaginable. as hard as i tried, i couldn't shake these horrific thoughts. i am a medium, in the sense that i receive thoughts. i pick up on troubling events, too. i was picking up on the kid's current marrital crisis. being a drama queen, i over react all the time.

we are in the midst of the 3 weeks of mourning for the destruction of the holy temples. this is an historically unlucky time for the jews. we must take special care during this time. yesterday, my grandson ran into the street and was nearly hit by a car. we had a miracle. the car stopped before inpact. it wasn't on my watch. i worry all the time that something might happen while he is my care.

we must simply trust that Hashem is watching over us. we cannot become paralyzed by fear of the 'what if'. however, we must be vigil and not careless. with this kid it is not an easy feat. he is all over the place, all the time. he is always getting into trouble. this morning he was putting his fingers into the fan. thank goodness it wasn't on but it was plugged in. he is always trying to insert metal objects into the electrical outlets.

in a blink of an eye, he's on another foor. i have to keep all of the doors locked all of the time. besides grabbing for crayons and markers which are not dangerous, he finds sharp objects like japanese knives. he stands on his tippy toes and reaches the counter. i am running out of room to hide things from him. he is aggressive with the dogs and throws objects at them. he head - budded me this morning on my eyebrow. he threw himself down on the couch and hurt his cheek.

i was hit by a virus yesterday and could barely stand on my feet. i actually retched up some bile. i couldn't eat or drink. i finally was able to get some water down. the girls came over to swim and i opened the door for them and then went back to sleep. i slept all day and most of the evening. at 11:00 p.m. i felt a bit hungry. i had some melon. i went back to sleep.

i woke up feeling better. yesterday morning, when sahar came up at 7:00 a.m. it took all of my strength to get him a bottle. i was so sore and achey. i was a bit panicked that the kids were going to leave him with me. they didn't and i was relieved. i never thought that something bad might happen.

oh it is so peaceful while he sleeps! please grant me the strength to care for him!

Toddler Wars day 4

2011-07-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

it's 4:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just indulged myself with a tuna sandwich on a whole wheat roll. i usually don't eat bread during the week. i have been trying very hard to lose some of this enormous bloat. i think this week i've tried to do a mock weight watchers' number. i ate what i wanted but kept the amounts smaller.

i am waiting for sahar to wake up. that's right, sahar is with me. his other grandma is coming over soon with his two uncles to have a pool party. yesterday, i hosted the aunts. it's amazing to see how wild religios girls are. they thrashed about the pool and assaulted one other. the water went spilling all over the place. i actually, filled up the pool before they arrived. what a waste!

i was hoping that they would bring sahar over with them. i understood, once they were here, that it was an afternoon off for them. gal's sister brought her little 3 month old boy baby. i spent the entire afternoon, sitting by his stroller and talking to him. i was like a paid babysitter without the pay. i don't usually do well with infants and newborns. i get hopelessly depressed when they cry. little orel was particularly, sweet and sociable yesterday. i mostly conversed in english. he seemed to get my drift. his mom looked a bit worried, though.

i didn't feel like joining them in the pool so i sat in the shade. one of the girls was hungry, so i raided gal's freezer and made some potato berakas and preve hotdogs. i brought out drinks, fruit, crackers and bissli. my fridge was empty. i cut up a little salad, too. i wanted to offer them spaghetti but they left before i got the chance to cook. everyone got a really long and hot shower and it must have been nice to not wait on line as usual.

i didn't trek down to canaan to see sahar. i've gone a day or two without seeing him. i was feeling content actually, when my son zvi called. he sensed the disappointment in my voice and they decided to have sahar brought over for the night.
i really didn't think that it was a good idea. he finally arrived at 9:00 p.m. he was nearly asleep. he was finally in my arms when the other grandma needed to hug him goodbye. he then thought that he was going with that grandma. he entered the house and wanted to watch videos. he almost fell asleep but was really too restless to settle down.

i finally got him settled down on the t.v couch and he nearly passed out but woke up crying. he called out for safta and i told him that i was there. he wanted safta miriam and he told me so. it was 1100 p.m. and he wanted to go back to his other grandma. i was going to ring her up and tell her to pick him up. i was really upset by the whole predicament. i don't get it. on sunday he was attached at the hip. on wednesday, he hardly knows me. what gives!

i was blamed for putting sahar to sleep with videos. this woman puts him to sleep in her bed every day and that is perfectly, acceptable. i feel like i've finally been shoved out of sahar's life. i'm the elderly lady upstairs who sometimes babysits for him. miriam is his grandma. i give him corn and bologna and she makes him couscous with meat and veggies. i don't use hair conditioner or baby gel. i don't dress him up at all.

oh bye the way, sahar was taken back to his other safta'a house right after the pool party this evening. afterall, i did have him overnight. why should i expect to have him tonight too. i have already become obsolete in his life. oh happy me!

Toddler Wars day 2

2011-07-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

it's 10 p.m. in the holy city of zefat and i'm thoroughly exhausted. i went to sleep last night at around 5:00 a.m. that's two nights in a row that i've been unable to sleep.

i had a very long pep rally type discussion with my big sis in california. she says that i should get a life and that i should reclaim my power. that's a good one! who's got a life at our age. i know that sounds very bleak. i'm in a funk, remember?

the only good thing about the current situation is that i've lost my appetite, finally. i don't think that i'll shed any poundage unless i start to walk again. i actually read that you tend to gain more weight if you aren't sleeping well. it has something to do with how the body breaks up fat while we sleep.

i finally got out of bed at around 4:00 p.m. i didn't even shower. i decided to walk to town. i decided to visit a friend, too. my sister told me to get out of the house, so i did. i caught a ride to town on the next corner. it was too hot to walk, anyway. i figured that i could always walk home.

i left the house without my purse. i figured that i could always borrow the bus fare home. i had some money stashed away for a cab if i decided to get one, too. i ended up stopping off at gal's parents. i wanted to see sahar. i wanted to see if he missed me or not. when he saw me he was non plus. he then came running over for a hug. he wasn't clinging to me today. although, every time i tried to say goodbye to him, he would cry. so i hung around the family and walked down to town with them. it took forever. time was simply, dragging.

it wasn't as scorchingly hot in town as yesterday, but it wasn't cool, either. being without money in town was a big mistake. sahar wanted ices. yesterday i bought him a drink and ices. i had sold some jewelry to get enough money to cover my checks this month. i felt large. i had a wad of bills in my pocket. today i tried to teach sahar how to panhandle. i was half joking and half serious, i'm afraid to admit. i broke off from the group to visit a friend. she wasn't home so i rejoined the hot and miserable group next to the bank.

his sephardi grandma bought him a deluxe potty. i guess with her daughter away in eilat for the week, she plans to toilet train her less than two year old grandson. i didn't sign on for this. i would never impose my values on the topic. but rememder, i'm just the paternal granny. i think this is really wrong. but since i'm not included in any of the plans, i remain silent. i'm finally over my hurt. if that's okay with my daughter-in-law to let her mother potty train her son, well, so be it. i'm out of the loop. once more.

getting a life never sounded so swell. i really have to get back to my fighting weight. i got to have new clothes. i got to have some work. i got to get back to yoga. i got to get back to walking every day. i got to get back to being a red head. i got to get back to acting. i got to get some teeth.

i got to get my power back! even if i never had any, i got to restablish myself as a menstch. i got to clean up all the pish, poop and doggie vomit all around the house. i have to pay my water bill, my real estate tax bill, and my electric bill. i have to cancel my appointment with the homeopath next week. i need that money to pay a bill. i need to take better care of me. i need to eat something right now. i need to get a camera so i can skype my family in india. i need to go to unemployment.

i decided not to buy my grandson sandals. let his other grandma deal with it. or let his mother drive herself crazy. i know that whatever i buy will be wrong. so i left my cash at home. i intended to walk home because my entire body is stiff. i ended up being driven home by gal's mom. her sister needed to pick up shoes from downstairs, anyway.

i decided not to be angry or vindictive with the kids. i will not throw them out, afterall. i cannot guarentee that i will still be available 24/7 anymore. i'm trying to rethink the laundry, too. we shall see, won't we.

Toddler Wars

2011-07-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

it is nearly 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just shlepped back from town in the heat with my grandson. i was only home for about 5 minutes when his other grandmother came by and literally scooped him out of my arms and into her car. i am really steaming.

the kids went off to eilat this morning for about 5 days. i was really looking forward to spending the night alone with sahar. i had asked the other grandma how she wanted to split up the days. i was willing to keep him here at night, sleeping in his own room. now that's a chiddush! my plan was rejected. i feel very resentful.

i want to call up my son and give him a mouth full of venom. that won't solve anything. he will only side with his wife. that's how it should be anyway. i guess my daughter-in-law doesn't really trust me with sahar. she wants him with her mother. she packed up a bag of all his summer clothes this morning and left me without hardly anything. she also didn't leave me a stroller. i am so hurt i could cry.

i didn't sleep a wink last night because i was so nervous about them leaving. i assumed that they had already left sahar with the clan. i didn't hear him make a peep last night. i finally fell off to sleep at around 6:00 a.m. at 7:00 a.m. zvi came upstairs with sahar and asked me to watch him. they had overslept. the inlaws were driving them to acco to catch a train to ben gurian airport. they were flying from tel aviv to eilat.

sahar seemed more tired than i was today. he is simply over stimulated at gal's family. here, he gets quality time with just me. it's quiet except for the dogs. maybe gal didn't want sahar to sleep with me and the dogs. i don't know anything because she doesn't communicate anything with me. zvi simply, stays out of the line of fire.

i am so upset that i keep fantasizing about kicking them out from the downstairs apartment. what am i the maid? good enough to wash their clothes and watch the kid for a while but not good enough to have a real relationship with my own grandson. i am the scapegoat, too. i am being blamed for getting sahar out of his crib routine and getting him used to watching videos to fall asleep. i never showed him videos without asking first. why am i validating myself, anyway??

i feel like crying. i can't believe that i have no rights. i have been having awful nightmarish fantasies of going to court to fight for custodial rights over the other family. it should never have to get to that place, please,G-d!!!!

this just isn't right. i am the paternal grandma. the kids live in my house. i have only one child. i have only one grandchild. i am totally alone tonight. why wasn't i given the chance to snuggle with my grandson tonight??? i am really mad at gal. i want so badly to tell her off. that's a luxury. i have to keep it cool all the time if i want access to my grandson. something has to give. i can't go on like this anymore.

Party Hearty

2011-07-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

it is 6:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i've been in bed all day. i had a great time at my birthday bash yesterday. i bought some very inexpensive italian sparkling wine and it did the trick for me. it went right to my head. i needed it.

it was a bit rough going during the day. i didn't sleep the night before and finally passed at about 4:00 a.m. drinking coffee at mildnite is insane. anyway, i stayed in bed until 11:00 a.m. and didn't start to cook until 12:00 p.m. it wasn't so easy being so tired. i usually would have had it done on friday.

i mixed up the soy milk with a little apple cider vinegar to create a non dairy like buttermilk. i needed it for two of the recipes. i used it to make a corn bread that was non dairy and gluten free. i always make it with either, rye or whole wheat flour. it came out a bit dry so i covered it while it was still hot with foil. i also drizzled a bit of honey onto it.

i ended up not baking another cake. i served the left over chocolate birthday cake from my surprise party and the banana date cake from shabbat. i did make up a batch of gluten free peanut butter cookies. i had wanted to make some tahina cookies too, but i definately, ran out of steam. it was a very hot day and i was feeling cooked.

i made a large pot of chile and i actually didn't veer from the recipe, except for the type of beans that i used. it wasn't too hot. it was spicy and rather tastey. i threw a bunch of fresh corn into the largest pot i owned. i made a quick and tangy sauce for the cocktail franks, and i made a small meatloaf. i went downstairs to clean up the yard and lug down chairs.

i came back upstairs and smelled something burning. the top of the meat loaf was burnt to a crisp. i ran to the freezer to grab another package of chop meat but i realized that there wasn't really enough time to defrost it. i simply, sliced off the top and gave it to the dogs. i reshaped the meatloaf, covered it with a little ketchup, and baked it for a little while longer. voila! fresh meatloaf.

i was really tired but i kept running around the downstairs, setting up. i made a bunch of toasted pita chips but they were virtually untouched. i finely shredded some lettuce and brought down a store bobottle of dressing. i was actually, too tired to squeeze any more lemons and make my own vinegrette. i had already made 2 liters each of lemonade, ice coffee and ice tea. the ice coffee was as usual, well received. this time, i served it with rich's non dairy coffee creamer because i had set the table with my fleishig dishes.

i actually, used real glasses, bowls and silverware. i did have the suppplementary disposable dishes, too. i still haven't finished cleaning up yet. i still haven't finished cleaning up from shabbat, either. i set up the electric hot plate outside and created a strictly buffet style meal.

at the last minute, i made up some brown rice and carrots and onions for my vegetarian friend. i really had little patience to potchka at that point. i didn't have any creativity left in me. the apple pie icecream, that i had so labored to make, was totally over looked. the cornbread was a great hit and so was the left over banana cake. so much for fancy desserts.

at 4:00 p.m. it was still too sunny to sit outside but by 5:00 p.m. it had cooled down. the air was delicious. it was so lovely downstairs. everyone i invited, came.
we were a cozy dozen and there were 4 dogs. my friend decided to leave her 2 dogs behind.

paco, the newest guy dog, didn't shut up. he was only quiet when held in the arms of someone. it was most annoying. someone brought a really nice bottle of wine and it was well received. we started singing 4th of july songs and all kinds of american anthems. it was a lot of fun. it winded down at about 9:00 p.m.

as i was saying goodnight to the last of the crowd, a large truck pulled up and i received a huge plant and balloons form the kids. i persevered for the next few hours to bring in all the dishes and silverware and put away the tables and chairs. i gave up at around 12:00 a.m.

at 1:00 a.m. i heard sahar crying and finally went downstairs to get him. his parents were dead to the world. gal had been to the beach with her sister and zvi had played soccer. i put sahar on the t.v. sofa with the dogs and he crawled onto my body. he slept on top of me the entire night. he moved and switched sides the entire time. i have never seen such wiggling and squiggling. he finally woke up at 7:00 a.m.

i took him downstairs to reunite him with his parents but they were still fast asleep. i made him a bottle and stayed with him until 8:00 a.m. i then came upstairs and passed out.

i can't believe that i was so showered with gifts and emails this year. it really made turning 60, okay.

Turning 60

2011-07-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

it's 10:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. shabbat is over and i turned 60. i guess that is quite a milestone.

i had a bit of trouble yesterday. i got up around 8:00 a.m. when sahar came up to join me. i quickly made him a bottle and got ready to start the day. i fully intended to start my shabbat preparations as well as bake cookies and cakes and corn bread for my big 4th of july weekend/rosh chodesh tamuz 60th birthday bash tomorrow afternoon.

i went outside with sahar and the three dogs to wave goodbye to his parents. i grabbed the semi folded stroller and somehow got my ring finger caught. i have never felt that much pain in my life. i somehow managed to get my finger out and it was a bloodied mess. i had cut right through the middle part of the nail. i was beside myself. i ran back into the house to pour arnica oil all over the top of my finger. it was really throbbing. i was very upset.

i had wanted to go into the pool but i didn't dare with my finger. i was afraid to get it wet. i then found a sterile gauze pad and soaked it with arnica and wrapped it around the nail and taped it around the finger with masking tape. the slightest touch made me scream. eventually, i felt no pain.

i was emotionally drained and physically weakened. i drank some coffee and let sahar run around the garden for a while. i somehow, regained my composure and got him back into his stroller and took him to the grocery store. i bought a challah, some veggies and eggs and a couple of bottles of cheap italian fizzy wine.

when i got back, i put the sprinklers on and let sahar run around in the water, while i did about three batches of laundry. don't ask why. i hung up the heavy towels and fleece training suits outside on the lines. i got sahar back inside and into the bathtub. he was overtired and i thought that a bath would relax him so he would take a nap. he was less wild but sat up on the couch watching the 'baby luli' channel.

gal came home early from the store and took sahar downstairs. i got into action and started making the shabbat meals. i couldn't bend my ring finger that well or put much pressure on it. i found it hard to peel the vegetables. i left the skins on the potatoes. i found it hard to wash the veggies, too. i was still afraid of getting my finger wet. i threw the potatoes and eggs in the pot together for the saturday lunch. i usually cook them separately.

i opted for oven baked chicken and potatoes. i managed to get the excess fat off the chickens and threw some prepared grill and barbecue spices on the top. the kids loved it. i also made a potted fish with carrots, potatoes, red peppers and tomatoes. i didn't have any fresh cilantro so i used a bit of dried coriander, thyme and rosemary. zvi thought that it wasn't the usual recipe. he was right.

i made some tahina, and baked eggplant salad with tahina. no one touched it. i cut up the lettuce and soaked it. i had bought a watermelon but i couldn't handle cutting it up. gal did it for me. some time during the day, the refrigerator shelf was collapsing from the weight of the watermelon. somehow, i managed to fix it.

i made a 4th of july no bake pie which was a total waste of my ingredients and time. i poured a very expensive bag of frozen blueberries into an expensive graham cookie pie shell and covered it with hot strawberry jello. i then whipped up a package of french vanilla pudding with real milk, which was a real mistake. i should have used non dairy milk so i could have served it for my party tomoorow. no one reallly liked it and it's just sitting in the fridge. it would have made a real culinary statement tomorrow. oh well!

i then made up a batch of flourless chocolate/almond cupcakes for the non gluten guests. they rose real high and then fell real low. they looked like something the dogs made. are we having fun yet? i also threw together a half dozen jumbo rye blueberry muffins and they also looked like drek. i froze some strawberry yogurt into popsicle trays for sahar. he didn't get the concept nor did he eat them. i had a couple. they were rather tasty.

i baked a whole wheat banana date loaf cake, which was a success. i think i'll freeze the rest for when my friends from efrat come to vist in a couple of weeks. i bought tons of fresh corn but ended up using a can of sweet corn for shabbat. i couldn't handle shucking the corn. i made some thin french cut string beans but ruined it by pouring on a really bad israeli teriyaki sauce. it was unedible.

i managed, somehow, to grate a couple of beets and a carrot. there was no way of my cutting them into small cubes. i might of added some cumin so zvi, the bloodhound, didn't eat them. i think that the cumin actually, was added to the eggplant salad that no one ate. but who's keeping score, anyway. i also fried up a few slices of niles perch for the grandson but he didn't eat any. i ate them for lunch.

i made a few phone calls to my closest girl pals. i spoke with my soul sister in new york. our birthdays are one day apart on rosh chodesh. i also spoke with my friend in efrat, whose birthday is on tuesday. unfortunately, she can't come up for the birthday party. and lastly, i spoke with my partner in crime friend, who's hebrew birthday is next week. we are sharing the tamuz birthday bash together. i wanted to invite another pal who is also a tamuz baby, but she is working at the candle factory store until late.

i threw some water onto the high chair to clean it and the next think i knew, i was breaking my fall with my right hand. i landed quite hard on my left knee. i struggled to get up and just started crying. i was in a lot of pain. i was beginning to doubt that i would make it to my 60th year in one piece. i was getting paranoid. i then threw tons of sudsy water on the floor to further tempt fate and i was sliding all over the place. it was nearly candlelighting time and i was still struggling to get all of the water out of the house. sahar was walking all over the place saying 'wet'.

as i sit here blogging, i am reminded that the laundry is still hanging outside. do i get up or not? i hear a lot of noise outside. gal is due back with sahar. the kids went over there for third meal and came back without him. i felt like going for a walk too, but i didn't feel like getting dressed. my finger still hurt. i sat back down and started reading psalms. i ate some chicken and finished the tahina and half a can of corn. i lost the urge to walk. i picked up my newspaper and started reading various articles.

i just went outside to check up on the noise and the entire clan was outside sans the father and married sister. i really didn't expect any visitors at 11:00 p.m. the house was a mess. i took the liberty of not cleaning up after shabbat. what a mistake that was. i was not the hostest with the mostest tonight. gal's mom made a cake and the kids ordered pizza. before you knew it, it was midnight and thay all left. i went downstairs and brought in the laundry. now it's 1:00 a.m.

i have half of her mom's cake left over if i don't feel like baking tomorrow. i'm a wreck but i do have my menu planned. i'm making flourless corn bread, chile con carne, meatloaf with barbecue sauce, corn on the cob, stringbeans and almonds, brown rice pilaf, and a tossed green salad. now that i finally know what i want to make, i'm not so sure that i will have the energy to do everything. i have eggplant and chumus left over. and of course, the beet and carrot salad. i can always make a cucumber salad, too.

the watermelon is already cut and i made apple pie icecream sometime, yesterday. i bought a fancy and expensive can of pie filling from the states. it was waful! very slimy and tasteless. i added a ton of vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg. i blended it all together. the egg whites didn't exactly beat up. we shall see if it is a success, won't we. i was planning on making a gingerbread cake, and flourless peanut butter and tahina cookies . all i need is the strength. maybe i'll get by with the left over banana and chocolate cakes and the very flat flourless chocolate cupcakes.

good night! shavua tov! chodesh tov! may you all get what you need and really want.

Another Birthday Party

2011-06-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

i just got sahar off to sleep a little while ago. it's after 10:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. his aunt moran took care of him all day long. i went down to do the laundry at 12:00 p.m. it was rather cold this morning so i put it off.

i think i did about 6 huge loads. i didn't see any major improvement after investing 1100 shekels last week in maintanance. i think the machine was actually, noisier. go know!

last night we had a 'mock' surprise party for gal's mom. she turned the big '50'. next week i turn the large '60'. i was hoping to come in svelte to my party but it ain't happening. my stomach is the size of a basketball. i just have to grin and bear it.

anyway, gal asked me to make a lasagna for the party. i bought all of the ingredients last thursday. i was hoping that she would change her mind because i wasn't in the mood to potchka. later that day, at around 3:00 p.m. she asked if i could also bake a chocolate cake. she told me that she would pick it up and decorate it, herself. i was feeling rather sluggish yesterday morning and stayed in bed for most of the day. at 3:30 p.m. i jumped out of bed and got dressed and ran down to the supermarket to buy white flour. her family and especially her mom, doesn't like whole wheat flour. her dad, surprisingly enough, prefers it. next month, i'll make him another honey cake for his birthday.

at around 4:00 p.m. i forced myself to go into the kitchen to start the cake. a friend called to say that she was coming over for a visit. i was just whipping up the cake when she arrived. it took about 40 minutes and i had 2 lovely and moiste round layer cakes for gal to pick up. i couldn't start the lasagna while i was hosting my friend. the discussion was rather on the heavy side. i waited for her to leave. she left at around 6:30 p.m. i was already spent.

at 7:00 p.m. i started the tomato sauce. i ended up using the cardboard like lasagna noodles that you don't precook. i did manage to go back to the store where i had seen the real squiggly lasagna noodles, but i didn't find any. gal said that she would pick me up at 8:30 p.m. so i wasn't feeling too pressured. you might say, that i was lacking inspiration. i didn't even use fresh garlic in my sauce. i was hot and tired.

while the lasagna was baking, i melted the left over white chocolates that i had bought for gal's sister's bris. i did buy good 60% dark chocolate bars but i decided not to use them. i opted for the precut white plastic chocolates, instead. remember, i told you that i wasn't feeling very inspired. i made 10 large 'yom huledet sameach' lollypops and about 20 small 'mazel tovs'. i found my gold 'mazel tov' stickers and 2 plastic wine glasses to showcase the chocolates.

at 8:20 p.m. i took the lasagna out of the oven and covered it with foil and a couple of towels to keep it warm. gal called to ask me to bring up a couple of bottles of coke from the fridge. she said that her brother-in-law would pick me up in 20 minutes. i opted for not showering. i had showered earlier in the day but i certainly could have used another one. i threw on a fresh top and a vest to try and cover up my huge stomach. it didn't help one bit.

i went to carry out the lasagna, 2 bottles of coke, and the bag with the gift and the chocolates before shachar came to pick me up. just as he arrived, the little dog paco, got out of the house. i had to round him up and get him back in and lock the door. i almost forgot the lasagna, which i had placed on the stoop. we drove over to gal's sister on the next block and i was handed the birthday cake to hold. it wasn't wrapped up or in a box. it was resting on an inverted layer cake pan. i had to hold it in my hands and make sure it didn't fall or get squished while we were driving. i was a nervous wreck. the hot lasagna was to my right on the seat next to gal's sister and baby.

we got to gal's family at 9:00 p.m. and all the girls scrambled to make a party. they frantically blew up balloons, set the table, put out salads and crackers, and put barekas in the oven. they served potato barekas, french fries, sweet potato ravioli in mushroom sauce, spaghetti in cream sauce, mock greek salad with bulgarian cheese, and of course, the dreaded lasagna. they never cut the cake because everyone was stuffed. blame it on the lasagna. they did serve 4 different flavors of ice cream. everyone was overtired. sahar was in his element watching his favorite nursery songs on his aunt's cell phone. we left well after midnite.

i am planning a sit down dinner for my birthday on sunday. i do not want a 'mock' surprise party. i want to share the big day with a few friends. i am planning on serving chili con carne, corn bread, corn, white rice, curried brown rice, lentils, tossed green salad, apple pie ice cream and some type of cake. i am leaning towards a banana cake with chocolate cream frosting. i was planning on making a chocolate layer cake but i don't know if i'll be able to retrieve my layers cake pans on time. i'm kind of fantasizing about making ginger bread but molasses is very costly. i'll decide this week. i'd like to do it ahead of time and freeze it.

More Fun In The Sun

2011-06-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

it's almost 11:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. my most favorite t.v. show, 'medium' is almost on. i have a huge day ahead of me. after 'medium' i will start to move.

i spent the day in the pool with sahar yesterday. he came up to seek out 'tata' bright and early, around 8:00 a.m. i changed his diaper and gave him a bottle of juice because i was out of milk. i got him ready to go and took him for a walk to the local pharmacy.

it was already way too hot to walk but i didn't have the patience to wait for the bus. i didn't have the stamina, either, to push the stroller onto the bus and take him out of it. i've done that lately, and it is quite the chore. i needed to buy 3 birthday gifts so i headed to the 'new pharm'.

i bought a pretty package of bath soaps amd gels for gal's sister who had a birthday last week. it came with a scrubbie and a little purple shelf. i bought a package of bath gels for gal's mom who turns 50 this week. it came with a little wooden scrub brush and two scents. i also bought a package of lavender bath gels and bath salts for my gal pal who turns 61 today.

she's meeting in town with a couple of friends for 'coffee and'. i really should make an effort to join them. i don't have sahar today. his grandma miriam is going to shlepp him around the outdoor market. it is way too hot for me to shlepp around, myself. i'm even too tired to take the cover off the pool and jump in. i got a pretty good burn yesterday. i don't want to chance another one today.

later on today, there is a dedication of a new sefer torah at the boy's school for the rav who died last year. he was an incredible man and school manager, who really died too young. gal's mom asked me to join them there. the boys are in the choir and are carrying torches for the long march. i am sort of obligated to go. what a long day i have. i never go to town on wednesdays, shuk day in zefat.

i was sort of planning to catch up on my laundry. the repairman was here yesterday, replacing a part for the maytag. it cost me over 1100 shekels. he did give the maytag a good bill of health. he maintains that it can last a life time if i have it serviced every few years. there is no way, for sure, that i could ever afford another maytag in my lifetime. if this ones dies i will have to use my daughter-in-law's israeli model. i bought it second hand before their wedding. a lovely chabad couple were returning to the states so i bought their washer and dryer and fridge, which were only a few months old at the time.

i also, want to check out one of the supers downtown. i once saw 4th of july napkins there. i doubt that they still have them but you never know. i have found new year's plates, and easter napkins and even christmas napkins there. maybe they will have something with the american flag. i haven't been able to find red, blue and white sprinkles. there aren't any blueberries or strawberries either, to make a flag waving cake. i, actually, checked these things out on the internet.

gal wants me to make a lasagna for saturday night. they originally, were planning a cook out for gal's mom's birthday. shabbat ends pretty late these days. the last thing that i want to do is make another lasagna. i usually do this once a year. i did see real lasagna noodles in the same super that has the funky napkins. you know, the long ones that are curly on the edges, that you actually cook. i've been using the huge, oblong cardboard like noodles, that don't need precooking, for years. they fit 3 to a layer. now, do i spring for the real noodles and work harder than usual? i don't even know why i'm bothering. gal's mom won't eat lasagna. she's morraccan. she does have the occassional slice of pizza at a party but she would never taste my lasagna.

since, i'm not so certain about this lasgana idea, i will wait to buy all the cheeses. we are talking about a lot of expenses, here, too. i could start to make the chocolate molds today. i still have some really awful white chocolate left over from gal's sister's bris. it's not so easy to potchker when it's so hot. i really just want to go back to bed and forget about the coffee klotch at 2:00 p.m. and the sefer torah thing at 5.00 p.m. today. i also, want to stop staring at all of the laundry lying on the master bedroom floor.

i think the honeymoon with paco, our new dog, is over. he stinks and has been peeing on the rug downstairs. gal is not a dog lover and zvi, the collector, is never home. he recently joined a local soccer team. between work and learning and sports, paco never sees zvi anymore. this morning, i searched all over the house for paco. he was nowhere to be found. i was convinced he ran away. i finally found him in the third floor apartment. he was lying on the rug. i sure hope that he didn't pee on the rug. he is having a rather hard time with cloey dog. she tortures him. cookie dog is much easier to get along with. i need this third dog like i need a hole in the head. i am doing sponger, like, every day, now. are we having fun yet?

i was invited to a wedding in bnei brak tonight. guess who isn't going???

Roll Out Those Lazy Hazy Days Of Summer

2011-06-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

it's 8:00 a.m. friday morning in the holy city of zefat. i woke up at 7:00 a.m. and got up to have breakfast. i've been on a quasi vegan/raw food diet for a couple of days. i finally made myself sick from all the binging. besides, gaining an all time record of poundage, i really got sick.

i was nauseated for a couple of days and couldn't even drink coffee. i went through a real caffeine withdrawal. i only drank tea for a few days and was unable to function. my sinks are full of coffee mugs, dishes and pots and pans. i have little stamina to deal with anything.

i've had sahar with me practically, all week long. his other grandmother was out of town visiting her mother. i had him for over 12 hours on sunday and wednesday. i had him for almost 24 hours on monday when his parents went off to tel aviv.

i took sahar with me to the grocery to buy a sweet challah. i spent the morning in the pool while sahar played in the garden. he didn't like being in the pool today. i think it was too cold for his taste. it was just right for me. the sun was really brutal. i wore a leotard and shift as my bathing costume.

gal made the shabbat meals downstairs and i am their guest this week. she actually bought fish and chicken this week. it was the first shabbat meal that she made. she was on the phone with her mom on thursday night. her mom talked her through the chicken and fish dishes. gal made two types of eggplant salad, a potato salad, and a mixed green salad. she also made an icebox cheesecake.

i made an eggless chocolate fudge cake because i gave gal all of my eggs. i made some beets, and the usual cooked tomato relish. i also made an israeli salad and tahina. i made some white rice and the weekly potatoes and eggs. i took care of sahar until nearly candlelighting time and then made a mad dash to wash the floors.

gal came upstairs a dozen times to ask for things. she needed eggs, various spices, a hand mixer, fresh garlic, and then the use of my fleishig oven. i have to admit that it was a huge relief not to have to make meals this week.

last night i finished putting sahar to sleep at 10:00 p.m. my niece had called around 8:30 p.m. from town to let me know that a friend's wedding was in progress. i never received the invitation. i had gone to the senior's center that morning and had stayed an extra hour to see that they all made in onto their tenders home. i then went to visit a friend and stayed for a few hours. it was a really hot day and i didn't budge until around 5:00 p.m. when it seemed to be cooling down.

i then went to the bank and then to the supermarket to get supplies for shabbat. i didn't get home until after 6:00 p.m. i was quite tired. i settled down onto the t.v. couch for a little while until sahaar came home and wanted me to watch his 'row row row the boat' videos with him. when my niece called to tell me about the wedding, i was too tired to consider getting dressed up and going back out.

an old friend from the states was at the wedding and looking forward to reconnecting. the thought of having to wear my wig and pantyhose was anathama to me. i wish that i could have been more flexible. i simply, could not. i need to know the night before what i am planning to wear, and have it all laid out in front of me. i need to select which pieces of jewelry i want to wear and which pair of shoes. i also need to have my wig combed out and sprayed. i don't do well with last minute preparations anymore. especially, carrying around this extra weight, makes it much harder to find an outfit that still fits.

i felt really let down that night. it brought up memories of all the other simchas that i missed throughout the years. i felt totally out of the loop, again.

Fun In The Sun

2011-06-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

it's nearly 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i've had my grandson, sahar, with me since 6:30 a.m. his parents went off to tel aviv this morning to buy more shoes for their their store in town.

i guess that's a sign that the store is being successful. one can only pray. we've had very hot weather lately and the kids went out last week and bought a pool. zvi came home from work early yesterday, and with the help of his brother -in -law, he managed to assemble the pool. it took a couple of hours to fill it. oh vey, the water bill!!!

i had every intention of going early to the pharmacy today to buy a swim suit for sahar. i also had the cash to finally pay the electric bill. i figured we'd spend the hot morning in the pool together. instead, we had a rain storm this morning and the weather suddenly got cold again. go know! it's a good thing that we covered the pool last night.

we are getting another dog today. that's right, we will have 3 dogs. a friend saw an ad for a 5 year old tea cup chiwawa who needed a home. his family is headed back to the states and was afraid to travel with him. the ad read "mitzvah" so how could i possibly say no. this has been a dream of ours for years. we had a chiwawa a few years ago but he died after only a year. it was a traumatic time for me.

there's a chiwawa at the zefat pet shop in town. they want about $800 for him. i pine for him but it's way out of my price range. i also, on principle, am against the selling of pet animals. we are paying a token $100 finder's fee. he comes with clothes, a bed and a carrier. i can't wait to see him. zvi is meeting the owner in tel aviv in a little while. i am already fantasizing about dressing in a blonde wig this year as legally blonde for purim.

the kids are already on the bus on the way home to zefat. i'll just have to wait a few hours to greet our new pet. when i read the ad, it said to come and see 'hime'. for some reason, i thought that the dog's name was hyme. i told my son that the dog had a really strange mexican name. our dog was named 'paco'. i felt bad about changing this dog's name since he had it for 5 years. well, it turns out that his name is actually, paco. this was surely meant to be!

in another 3 weeks i will be turning 60. my birthday, which is on rosh chodesh tamuz, falls out on the fourth of july weekend. i want to throw a fourth of july bash. i want to make chili and serve hot dogs, hamburgers and corn on the cob. i invited a girl pal to enjoin her birthday with mine this year. her's is a week later.

too bad we can't do a pool party. i don't do mixed swimming. anyway, who wants to see middle aged men without shirts?

Mondays

2011-06-05T23:21:00.000-07:00

it's 9.00 a.m.. in the holy city of zefat. i jumped out of bed a little while ago and saw that it was nearly 9:00 a.m. i must have been dreaming this morning. i quickly brushed my teethe, got dressed, and ran downstairs to get sahar. it was very quiet downstairs.

at first, i thought that the kids had already left. i found sahar alone, in his t.v. room, playing with his toys. he immediately came running over to me and i took him to change his very, dirty, diaper. gal informed me that he was going over to safta miriam's. i felt a bit slighted at first, but then i realized that i had the entire day to create my dairy extravaganza for shavuot. i was a free bird. why fight it?

everyone knows that lasagna and cheese cake always taste better the next day. in this case, after 2 days. i am really tired this morning. i didn't fall asleep until after 3:30 a.m. i have to, seriously, stop drinking coffee after 10 p.m. there wasn't a decent thing on the tellie last night, either. i have become accustomed to falling asleep watching t.v. mom used to wake up as soon as i turned the t.v off.

it feels like a heat wave. the house is even warm for a change. i am feeling a bit feverish. the kids were having some kind of spat before they left. i put sahar into his car seat while they worked it out. i was determined not to interfere. i did tell zvi that he was acting like a 2 year old. one of the 'perks' of living with your married kids.

sahar wasn't all that eager to go off with them, either. he was planning on having another quiet day alone with me, the dogs and the sprinklers. a little quite time never hurt anyone. i don't make him perform all day long. i sing and dance with him all the time and review things. at the other house. he is asked to repeat a trick about 10 or 12 times until he becomes unglued. he does love that bunch a lot. they all adore him, too.

on shabbat day, he ordered them all to remove the new baby from its baby carrier, so that he could sit in it. he even put the infant's pacifier in his mouth. everyone laughed and played along. even his aunt, the new mother, showed no signs of indignation. this wouldn't have played out that way in my family. i think that we, ashkanazim, are more uptight, in general.

i definately, need to rest a bit more before i start to cook. i'll do laundry, instead. i did do the bulk of the laundry last week but i have some sheets and covers that smell very 'doggie'. one of the 'perks' of being a dog owner. ha ha!

last night, i applied a little too much orange oil to the dogs necks and they both had real hissie fits. i thought that i had, inadvertently, poisoned them. i had read a long time ago, that orange oil repels fleas and ticks. i hate using the flea collars because of their toxicity. i don't want them around sahar. i hope this works. i try to check them every day. lately, i've had a few ticks crawling about on me. what a thrill! i don't believe that these are the kind of ticks that you can get lyme disease from. they seem to be pretty benign.

how charming of me to be talking about ticks and cheesecake in the same conversation! isn't life so precious!

i got to speak with my niece in india for a moment yesterday. i had been thinking about her all day. it's too hard to make a phone call when sahar is with me. he grabs the markers from the drawers and starts to scribble on the floors and on his socks. anyway, after sahar went with his mom to town, i saw that my niece had tried to chat with me on the computer at the same time that i was thinking about her. ooh, scarey!

the house is in pretty decent shape so i won't have to do a major clean up job. i love to arrange lots of greenery around the house for shavuot. the only problem is that it will all dry out rather quickly in this heat. one year i, actually, strung up plastic flowers. how tacky was that! there is an abundance of beautiful roses all over the neighborhood, all mine for the picking. i love to add the fresh rosemary, lavender and mrytle from the garden. it looks and smells great too.

i think i'll throw the roast in the pan. it can simmer while i hang laundry. life is sweet!

It's Almost Shavuot

2011-06-05T13:52:00.001-07:00

it's almost midnite in the holy city of zefat. i've been on the computer for hours searching for new dairy recipes. i invited a few guests for wednesday afternoon to dine on lasagna and cheesecake. i splurged and bought cherries and grapes. i'm planning on making melon balls out of the honeydo melon.

i was supposed to go out on tuesday nite to the in-laws. i've decided to stay home, instead. a few friends called to ask if they could come over, so i am now, officially, cooking a fleishig meal.

i have a few small tuna steaks in the freezer so i'll be making them for my friend who is a vegetarian. i bought a really small pot roast to make for my other friend, who is, most definately, not a veggie, and very much, a meat lover. i hope that i will be able to cook some things tomorrow. i have sahar with me for the morning, but i will try to get things going when he naps.

i took sahar out for a morning stroll to the large supermarket around 11:00 a.m. he fell asleep in the stroller and i hoped that he would sleep for a while. he woke up as soon as we hit the super, a mere 20 minutes later. i left the stroller in the first aisle and put him in the shopping cart. he was pointing and asking for everything. first, i bought a package of sliced cheese for him to munch on. then, i bought him a sugary pita. after that, it was a small chocolate bar.

finally, i put sahar back into his stroller and managed to pack up all the groceries and get them into the shopping cart. sahar sat in his stroller, singing, quite gleefully. someone helped me fold up the stroller and we took a cab home. the driver helped me with the packages as i got sahar back into the courtyard. sahar, happily played outside, while i put away the groceries.

a little while later, i put on the sprinklers for the first time this season. the grass was already brownish. the gardner checked out the system today and it was really, time to water the poor grass. sahar ran around the wet grass and played in the water. he was having a ball! his mom came home and took him to town. i went to the little super to buy more cheese.

i was really psyched to start the lasagna when i got back. when i reached for the box of lasagna noodles on the top shelf of the pantry, i discovered that, what i had thought was a box of lasagna noodles, was really a box of canneloni. i should just change the menu, right? i don't think so. everyone is really expecting lasagna.

there was no way that i was going to shlepp back to the large supermarket to buy lasagna noodles tonite. earlier on, i bought a box of prepared sweet potato ravioli. i'm planning on making a creamy sauce. i think that will have to be done on wednesday, just before i serve it. i can't imagine putting it on the hotplate for a while. it would probably become rubbery.

i also, have my heart set on making a mushroom and swiss chard pie. i know it is probably, way too much food, but it can all be frozen, afterwards. i was toying with the idea of making the canneloni too, but that would really be over kill. if i had a larger group, maybe. but i think it's just 7 of us.

gal is planning on making an icebox cheesecake. i am planning on making an individual, teeny tiny, yogurt pie, for the friend who is sugar and gluten free. i'm planning on using crushed pecans for the crust and a custard made with goat yogurt and a splash of honey. she doesn't really do dairy, either. the recipe calls for berries but i couldn't find any. besides, i don't know if she even eats fresh fruit.

it's always a challenge to cook for her. i like to set the bar high. i'm thinking about making a sticky coconut brown rice for dinner. i might make a small, sweet noodle kugel for my other friend. i don't think she likes coconut so much. i also want to bake some banana cake muffins to have on hand. the carrot muffins were a big hit the last holday, but i didn't buy any carrots today.

i haven't been feeling that well, lately. i really am way too heavy. i tried to go back on a diet but i just didn't have the strength to endure one. i ate a bit of everything today ; bananas, yogurt, whole wheat bread, sardines, pecans, tuna and cheese. i couldn't commit to either, the south beach or the fruit fast. i figured, that as long as i didn't binge, i was okay. oh no, the new really tastey icecreams that i bought for shavuos, are beckoning me to taste them. give me the strength to not indulge myself!

Peace In The Middle East

2011-06-02T10:50:00.000-07:00

it's nearly 9:00 p.m. on a thursday night in the holy city of zefat. i am exhausted. i spent the entire afternoon cleaning the house. i just did 3 batches of laundry to boot.

the house was really smelly and dirty. the weather has been really strange. it's been hot and dry during the day and quite chilly at night. the house is very cold. the entire house was covered in grey dust.

i'd love to do the windows again, but i just don't have the energy. besides, it might just rain again. we never have rain at this time of year. everything is, pretty much, out of the ordinary, weather wise.

i could fall asleep this instant. i don't remember how late i stayed up. i must have gone to sleep after 3:00 a.m. i've been in a funk since the blow out with baby sister last week. i think it's my niece's birthday tonight, but i don't have the energy to call her and talk.

the kids are going to the in law's for shabbat. i'll probably tag along, too. i don't have the energy to prepare anything for myself. i spent the week, stuffing face, again. you would not believe the amount of junk i consumed, this week. shavuot is on tuesday night and i would have liked to lose a bit of weight before the holiday.

the kids are going to the gal's family for shavuot night. i'm seriously thinking of joining them. they might just walk home afterwards. zvi wants to be home for a morning dairy meal. once upon a time, i would have prepared two or three types of kugels, a quiche, three types of meat and various salads. that seems like so long ago.

i'm planning on making a cheese lasagna and a simple cheesecake for shavuot day. i might make a spinach pie and some baked salmon. i'll probably also serve, a simple fruit and cheese platter, too. the prices of fruit have skyrocketted, lately. i'll stick to melons and add some grapes.

i got out of babysitting sahar, today by saying that i was going to the seniors' center. i actually, ended up staying home. i wasn't feeling well but i felt an enormous pressure to clean the house. i have sahar with me tomorrow. i also, have a dog coming to stay for shabbat, of all the crazy things. that's right, i'm babysitting a dog. what we will do for a few shekels!

sahar just got home and wanted to see 'tata' zelda. he really wanted to see the 'row row row your boat' video on you tube. he's really keen on this lately. he didn't want to go downstairs because he knows that it's bedtime. i somehow, managed to get him to the downstairs computer and after quite awhile, he fell asleep in my arms. he refuses to watch lullabies now because he knows they put him to sleep.

i haven't spoken to my sister since the blow out. we've emailed a wee bit but that's all. i did speak to my brother, the shrink. he kept telling me, in his best dr. phil voice, to try and see the larger picture. i cannot for the life of me, figure it out right now.

today, my sister sent me an ad for a managerial position at a seniors center. besides the fact, that i couldn't understand the hebrew, i am absolutely not qualified for such a job. after all, i've only been visiting the center for about a year. and i only go there once a week. i haven't a clue what goes on in the other sections of the center. i have been primarily, visiting the closed in dementia group. i have no experience with the social welfare network, at all.

i tried to explain to sister dearest, that no one would ever hire someone without a degree. she really didn't get it. amazingly, i started to get it, though. my sister lives in an altered reality state. once i acknowledged this to myself, i no longer felt upset with her. i understood why it was so hard to communicate with her. she simply doesn't live in the same world as me.

Big Sisters

2011-05-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

it is 9:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. tonight is lag b'omer. hundreds of thousands of people make their pilgrimage to meron to visit the gravesight of rabbi shimon bar yochai. it is normally, a 15 minute bus ride from zefat. not so tonight. it usually takes about an hour or more, because of the unusual amount of traffic.

i am not planning on going tonight. i don't have the stamina. it is also, about an hour's walk from the bus stop to the gravesight. i do not do well at night anymore and i must avoid being out in the wind, at any cost. i just might try going tomorrow evening. it probably will still be very crowded.

i took a long nap today because gal's sisters came over to get sahar. i think it was the first time in over a year that i slept on a saturday afternoon. i made shabbat meals for the kids and gal's sister and husband. it was their first shabbat in the neighborhood since they had their baby. they all seemed to be very happy together. i was very worn out. i still am.

i am ashamed to admit that i had a huge blow out with my younger sister on tuesday night, the night of my father's yirtseit. it has been a long time coming, unfortunately. i became the sole inheritor of my parent's house in zefat about two years ago. i know that it never seemed fair to me that i would get everything when i had another sibling in zefat. i tend to suffer from low self esteem. i am by no means, what one might call, a greedy person. i have always shared the 'wealth' with everyone.

my friends here and my siblings abroad all share the common belief that the house was coming to me for all the years that i spent caring for my elderly parents. i have finally come around to also believe that i deserve to remain in the house that my parents bought for me over 11 years ago. i say that, but i am still plagued with guilt.

i am the big sister here. in truth, my little sister has been bossing me around for many years. in fact, everyone here thought that i was the younger one. i have been the big sister who always babysat and adored the nieces and nephews. i always made the bithday cakes. i bought the appropriate gifts. i went to all of the school plays. i did the dishes. i made kugels or cakes for various simchas. i bought purim costumes. in short, i was always available. and i was always being asked to do favors.

about 11 years ago, my parents came to live in zefat. my mom had wanted me to return to new york. i had actually agreed to it but i couldn't face leaving israel. it was hard for my mom to leave her life in the usa. i wanted her to be surrounded by the majority of her grandkids, here in zefat. she got to go to their school recitals, graduations, attend 2 bar mitzvahs, and 2 weddings. she was very close to her grandchildren. they loved her very much, too.

dad also adored the kids. even in his dementia, he enjoyed being around his grandkids. he loved partying and lots of company. i was always entertaining and having friends come over. dad loved the action. we were always celebrating something here. i was the caterer. i made the parties. i cooked the dinners. i made the chanukah latke nights. i was the hostest with the mostest. so i thought, until tuesday night.

it wasn't always so ideal. mom resented me for the loss of her independence. she resented me for taking over her kitchen. she resented me for her not being able to do household chores. dad was demented and sometimes could be aggressive. he was a handful and then another half. my son was a dificult teenager. he had dropped out of yeshiva at 15/16 and was doing drugs. i was beginning menopause. what fun! 3 generations living together.

dad died 6 years ago. the loss was very hard for me. i didn't go out for about 2 years. it was also very hard to deal with mom. she suffered a lot being alone. my son joined the army right after my father died. mom and i enjoyed a certain quiet together. we got along much better without my son. she thankfully, lived to see her grandson turn around and become a mentch. she lived to attend his chuppah and died 3 weeks after the wedding.

my mom has been gone for over 2 1/2 years. the will has been probated. i'm still living in our house. my son, daughter-in-law and grandson are living downstairs. the only difference is that my baby sister announced to me one night, about half a year ago, that she would no longer enter this house because of the unfairness of the will.

it all started with a discussion of my ridding the house of clutter and chotchkas. i offered my sister to come over and take whatever chatchkas she wanted. she wanted me to pack up all the things that i didn't want and bring them to her house.

as the big sister, i got very hurt and depressed. i punished myself by binging and gaining a ton of weight. i stopped going out. i went into shiva mode. then i regrouped. as the big sister, i started taking my baby grandson over to visit my baby sister. i never spoke of how i felt. i tried to keep things 'pareve'. i kept the visits short.

once again, i offered my baby sister to come over and take whatever chatchkas she wanted. she asked me for the antique dressers that were in the master bedroom. quite frankly, i wasn't about to part with them. they are the only things in the house that i do treasure and still use. i wasn't about to take out all of my clothing and personal things to accomodate her. call me selfish! end of discussion.

so about 6 months later, on the night of my father's 6th yirtseit, we had a knock down, drag out fight. it started after i mentioned deleting emails from my mother's yahoo account, which i shared with her for years. from about 10:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. we went at each other until we were both sick. my niece actually, came into the room at one point, to tell us to both stop screaming.

the next day, the big sister and the baby sister went down to the cemetary together to pay homage to their father. i haven't spoken to my baby sister since. i did email her that our relationship was too toxic for me and that i needed a break. we both tried to get our older sister to take our sides. she finally told us both to deal with it on our own. what a luxury to live in another country!

anyway, this big sister is now trying to enjoy her space. she is sticking to her diet and not punishing herself anymore. she is not feeling as guilty. she is actually enjoying seeing the baby sister squirm a little. don't get me wrong, i'm exhausted. to be continued.

To Blog Or Not To Blog

2011-05-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

it's almost 1:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. it's been a week since i blogged. i haven't had many comments lately and was beginning to think that noone was reading my blog.

a girl friend sent me an ad about a group of women who were planning to make a website for religious women. they were looking for blogs about homemaking, living in israel, cooking and child rearing. i sent them a copy of my recent blog on shabbat.

i don't know if it's what they're looking for but, who knows? they only wanted 500 words but they got the entire blog. i hope it wasn't too sardonic for them. it did deal with taking care of my grandchild, waiting for the washing machine repairman, and my shabbat menu.

the kids want to have shabbat meals here again this week. they want to invite gal's sister and hubbie, too. this of course, includes sahar's newborn cousin, baby orel. i have to do a major clean up job tomorrow, right after i come home from the senior's center. the house is trashed. we have had ash storms for days and everything is covered in thick grey dust. my lovely, clean windows are all streaked and filthy again.

I've had a virus since last week and i still don't feel 100% myself, yet. i've kind of stuck to the strict part of the south beach diet all week and it's been pretty hard. i've eaten a ton of eggs, low fat cheese, yogurt and meats. i've finished all of the almonds and hit the salted sunflower seeds pretty hard, too. i even, ate a can of dried coconut strips. they were highly caloric but at least, i didn't succumb to any sugar.

i finally weighed myself today. it wasn't as catastrophic as i thought. i really am determined to knock off these extra 12 pounds once and for all. i want to fit into my clothes again. i'll never get back to my size 10 outfits, but i want to stop looking 9 months pregnant. that would be so nice. i think my stomach is slowly beginning to shrink.

on tuesday night, my son made a seudah at his father-in-law's shul in my father's memory. it was the 6th anniversary of his passing. i brought two types of deli, potato berakas, chumus, eggplant salad, dill pickles, turkish salad and boiled eggs. i also bought dried dates, 3 types of peanuts, dry roasted peas and watermelon seeds. i baked 2 chocolate loaf cakes and 2 honey and date loaf cakes. zvi said the sephardi men loved the cakes. i used only brown sugar and whole wheat flour. go know!

i don't know why my baking has been so well received lately. last friday, i made a dozen carrot cake muffins and a banana-date cake. it nearly all went. zvi even asked for some banana cake on sunday morning. usually, i freeze most of it after shabbat. there was only one muffin left over on monday. even the toddler asked for more cake.

i don't have much left in the freezer so i'm going to have to shop at the supermarket tomorrow. i just need to plan the menu. everyone eats chumus, lettuce salad, cooked beets, cooked sephardi tomato relish, potato salad, israeli salad and eggplant salad. i haven't made tahina lately. it's become expensive but it does go well on my diet. i can also make cookies with it. if i do make the cookies, i'll need to buy sesame seeds, too. i'm also all out of eggs. i must have gone through about 50 eggs last week.

i do have a honey loaf cake in the freezer and half of a chocolate one, so maybe i can get away without baking. maybe, i'll make barbecue style chicken wings and potted chicken meatballs. i am out of white rice and i don't think this is a brown rice crowd. of course, i'll need more potatoes. i'd like to make a noodle kugel for a change. i can't believe that i'm actually, making shabbat meals again this week.

Zelda Does Chocolates

2011-05-08T01:28:00.000-07:00

it's 11:30 a.m. on a sunday morning in the holy city of zefat. sahar is napping in the living room. the dogs are with me in the blog room. i am waiting once again, for the washing machine repairman. i blew him off at 7:00 p.m. last week.

he promised to come here at noon today. we shall see. i went to bed around 5:00 a.m this morning. we got back from gal's family around 10:00 p.m. last night. gal was feeling sick and i was also feeling viral. i had a whole lot of chocolates to mold for today's simcha. i knew i wouldn't be able to potchka with sahar around. i started melting chocolates at about 11:30 p.m. and finally finished at 3:30 a.m.

i had a mold of 8 baby strollers but there were only 4 male ones. freezing only 4 at a time was most time consuming. i decided to make 'maxel tov' molds, 11 at a time. at final count, i had made around 50 carriages and 50 mazel tovs. i bought little plastic baggies and gold ties to close them. i made about 12 gold coins because i still had some chocolate left. i used about a kilo (1000 grams) of cheap non dairy chocolates.

i have to admit that the chocolates, which were synthetic but very kosher, tasted awful. even the expensive coffee flavoring that i added, didn't make it any tastier. it looked okay, but it wasn't a culinary triumph by any standard. i will definately, not be buying these chocolates again. i bought them in the same store where i buy all of the chocolate molds. i just assumed that it was proffessional. trust me, baker's chocolate tastes better than this drek.

anyhow, i did the mitzvah. that's what counts, i guess. most israelis do not have a sophisticated palette for real chocolate. i must say that these chocolates leave a nasty after taste. it's like eating plastic spoons. it's too late to do anything about it now. the chocolates have already made their way to the shul.

the repairman just called. of course, he's running late and won't get here until 2:00p.m. i still need to feed sahar and bathe him before his mom returns from work. speaking of food, i totally, forgot that i left mini corn shnitzels and fries in the toaster oven for sahar. luckily, the shnitzels wern't burnt. i managed to salvage some of the chips, too. i was going to make him macaroni but i only had lasagna noodles and spaghetti in the cupboards. he prefers finger food, anyway, these days.

he is beginning to chat up a storm. after a week with the sephardis, he is only speaking hebrew. he is beginning to call the kids by their names. i am 'tata'. in hebrew, safta is grandma. he says aviya, and adi. he calls his mom by her name, gal. he calls his father, abba. he no longer says no. it is 'lo' now, the hebrew equivalent.

he does quite a few animal sounds, too. it's moo for cows, ga ga for ducks, ra ra for dogs, and ba ba for sheep. he does a good impression of the baby crying. i must say that he is totally being plied with sugar at gal's home. they don't believe that he drinks plain milk in his bottle. they won't put chocolate powder in the milk because they believe it will make him hyper, but they will give him sprite and artificial syrups in his water. it makes me ill to watch him being over stimulated, too.

i usually put a little molasses in his morning milk for iron. i admit that i do give him pretzels with all sorts of chemicals in them. i make him an omelette for breakfast and try to get him to eat plain yogurt. i have been known to give him pudding. i am not perfect. we all need a lot of tolerance and balance. i try to buy ices without food coloring and additives. it's a losing battle.

i am very upset that my son has started to smoke again. it is really making me crazy. what a shame! he quit over 2 years ago. i don't think he is planning on quiting this time, either. i threatened to throw him out but it doesn't work any better than before he was married. i wish sometimes that he didn't live with me. what a horrible thing to say! i know.

the waiting game

2011-05-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

it's nearly 6:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i've been waiting all day long for the return of the washing machine repairman. he came last week and fixed the dryer. i asked him to clean out the filters in the washing machine but it was already too late to do anything else. i don't know why i expected him to show up during the daytime.

while checking out the accordian shaped dryer pipe, he managed to break off the little shutter box, outside the house. he used some of my plastic chicken wire to cover up the large gaping hole. he actually told me, in all seriousness, that the green plastic chicken wire looked ascetic. it has been raining ever since. i'm not sure if it rained into the downstairs or not, as i haven't done any laundry since then.

the chicken wire is now hanging in the wind and the large hole is dangerously, exposed. we caught the rat on shabbat day. he entered one of the newer traps that i set with fresh salami. i really am not up for any more rats right now. the repairman told me that he would come at 3:30 p.m. i am not digging the wait one bit. it is almost dark and he said that the washing machine repair would take a bit of time.

i had asked him to also check out the dripping fridge. the guy comes all the way from haifa and i am expected to pay a large fee for his coming to zefat. i am ready to tell him not to come. i am beginning to get ticked off. it's not like i had anything to do or anywhere to go today. i guess, that i could have gone to town and checked out the open market shuk. i also could have signed in at the unemployment office, too. i hate waiting around.

sahar has been at his other grandma's all week long. i saw him briefly, for about 5 minutes this morning. i really am not so pleased about this. never the less, i could have gome back to aroebics, yoga and paltes. i had the entire week free. i, also, could have gone downtown and visted some friends. instead, i stayed in my robe and food binged all week long. i haven't moved from the t.v. area all week. i have gained an extra ton of weight.

on sunday night, we had holocaust remembrance day, here in israel. the only programming on paid t.v. was holocaust movies until late monday night. i stayed in bed and watched holocaust movies in english, french and italian for two days straight. i didn't leave the house. i think i'm in a bad state right now. perhaps, the homeopathic remedy has turned on me. i think i may need something stronger to get me out again. i did promise to go to the senior's center early tomorrow.

i am ready to start screaming at the repairman. i am not pleased one bit with him. why am i always his last stop in zefat? i think that he forgot about me, all together. last week, after i mentioned that i needed to leave my house by 7:00 p.m. he showed up well after 6:00 p.m. he also, didn't leave here until nearly 8:00 p.m. i'm getting ready to blow him off. i am getting more agitated by the moment. i need to relax. i'm not going anywhere, any time soon. so why do i feel so abused?

i lent my spare pesach gas stove to someone and it hasn't been returned, yet. this really grates on my nerves. why do people borrow things and not return them right away?? i'm trying hard not to get upset but my nerves are shot. all the sugar and ice cream that i've consumed lately, has gone straight to my brain. every little thing is getting on my nerves again. time for a new remedy, for sure!!

i hung out a jewish flag today. the independence day flags war has officially, begun. my neighbor has already put out over 32 assorted israeli flags. yes, i actually, counted every one of them. i only had one flag made out of some sort of stretchy material. luckily, i found it in the closet. i used to get some plastic flags in the jerusalem post, but i stopped buying the mewspaper, a long time ago. this one flag will just have to suffice.

well, the repairman just called and was ready to come right over, i asked him not to. i am exhausted and i didn't do a blasted thing today. i kind of whined to him. he promised to come again next week. i could have had him come now, but i couldn't suffer having someone visit now. i think i'm sick. my head hurts. another day gone to heck!

Shabbos Kodesh

2011-04-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

it's nearly candlelighting time in the holy city of zefat. shabbat comes in, in an another hour. i had sahar with me until about half an hour ago. i managed to cook and prepare shabbat meals while he was watching t.v. in his playpen.

i took him out bright and early to the grocery store. i needed to buy a sweet challah and some yogurt. i ran to the same store last night, right after being told that the kids would be here for shabbat. i had just come home from town at 6:00 p.m. i was kind of hoping to go out this weekend. i can't seem to catch a break. anyway, the shabbat food is warming on the electric platter. the two last minute cakes, that i made, are rather horrible.

i wonder if i forgot to add the sugar to the brownie cake. the batter tasted a lot better than the end result. the fruit bars aren't much better. the recipe suggested dates and nuts. i threw in shredded coconut and some cocoa at the last minute. i didn't have any vanilla extract in the house so i used a natural almond one. i used way, too much. i guess i should have just bought a cake while i was at the store. the kids prefer the store bought junk to my whole wheat cakes, any day.

i made a lot of variety today to kind of make up for pesach. i made sweet and chili chicken, fried chicken cutlets, baked sweet potatoes, assorted lentils and ming beans, white rice, stewed fish in a lemon curry sauce, and fresh corn. i also made a hot and spicy cooked tomato relish, that the kids like so much. i made some fried eggplant slices and baked garlic cloves. i bought chumus and made chopped eggs and avocado. and of course, i made cooked beets with lemon. you can't have shabbat without them.

sahar was in an eating mood today. i plied him with milk, melon, boiled eggs, yogurt, fresh corn, chicken cutlets, and potato sticks. what a pleasure to see him stuff his little chubby face!

tomorrow is shabbat mervorchim. the shabbat before the new month. i got a lot of psalms to read tomorrow. i hope i'll get the chance. i wish you all a wonderful shabbat! i need to jump into the shower, now!

Pesach Ends

2011-04-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

it is 10:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. pesach is officially over. i had a few people in for an evening meal called the 'moshiach seudah'. we usually drink 4 cups of wine and eat matzah, reminiscent of a pesach sedar. this year i cooked an actual meal.

i invited a married couple who aren't knowledgeable, yet, in yiddishkite (jewish tradition). i felt weird about not serving them food, especially since the wife does not drink wine. i took this into account when i prepared the food for the holiday.
as one of my other guests is a vegitarian who can't eat gluten or night shades, i prepared a separate fish meal. i stewed the fish with root veggies, onions, zucchini and carrots, sweet potaoes and lemon and olive oil.

i was going to stew the rest of the fish with a lot of root vegetables and tomatoes. i only cook with salt and peppercorns on pesach. i never use garlic or other spices. i tend to use a lot of onions. i usually don't bother to fry up the onions but on pesach you can't escape it. i did use ginger root alot this pesach. it went especially well with the honey glazed orange chicken and the poached pears in wine.

as i was making the stuffed eggplant dish, i had a lot of batter left over. i decided to make fried fish for the moshiach seudah. the eggplant dish was a bit of a potchka. first, i peeled the eggplants and salted them. i then patted them dry after they sweat. i then made the mashed potatoes filling. i made a batter with eggs and potato starch. it was way too thick and resembled wallpaper glue. i then dipped the eggplant slices into this mixture. it was no easy feat.

i then fried up the eggplants and drained them on paper towels. i then coated the niles fish chunks and fried them, too. i then made up a tomato sauce with peeled fresh tomatoes and onions. it cooked for quite a bit. i religiously, peel all the veggies on pesach, even tomatoes. it is quite a work out. i then stuffed the mashed potatoes, teaspoon at a time, into the fried eggplant slices and rolled them. you are then supposed to bake them in the oven for 25 minutes.

as i didn't have a pesach oven, i cooked them in the tomato sauce for 25 minutes, on a very low flame. they honestly, didn't look like anything great, and were a bit soggy. but they were delicious. so was the fried fish. i also made mashed orange and ginger flavored sweet potatoes. i made candied almonds too. i had made gingered pears in wine the night before. they went really fast. since i had a bit of the sugary syrup left in a pan, i simply threw in a few fresh almonds and let it bake on top of the electric hot plate until they were like peanut brittle.

i served up fresh sangria. i added a lot of fresh oranges and lemons and ginger. it was very tastey indeed! i had about 3 cups full and even made my havdallah on another cup. i am way too wasted to put away my pesach dishes tonight. i'll try to do this tamorrow. even though it's a mitzvah, i am in no hurry to eat chometz yet.

it got very cold this evening. i was invited to go to the in-laws for moraccan pancakes. it is a custom. i have no room to eat anything else. that last maccaroon did me in. tomorrow it's diet, diet, diet and laundry, laundry, laundry. i actually, had to unzip my skirt a little while ago. shame, shame, on me!

The Last Dance

2011-04-24T02:17:00.000-07:00

it's 12:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. it is the last leg of the chag. i am on my way to the grocery to buy more potatoes. i usually don't buy things during the holiday. it has been my custom for many years. i think that gal will probably want boiled eggs and potatoes for tomorrow's lunch so the heck with tradition.

zvi wants me to spring for lamb chops but i am holding out. there are plenty of steaks and chicken wings in the freezer. i have already spent my 'wad' this holiday. i am trying to create more gourmet meals today, as i don't have sahar to deal with. i already made potted meatballs in wine and a plain chicken and turkey soup. not exactly the gourmand. i ran out of avocado so i made chopped eggs and fried onions. hope it will go over as well as the avocado has, all week.

i am making stuffed eggplant roll ups in a tomato sauce. i already sliced and salted the eggplant and made the fresh tomato sauce. i still have to batter and fry the eggplant. i'm supposed to stuff them with mashed potatoes. i don't have a toaster oven to bake these so i'll simply, leave them on the blech. hopefully, it will work out.

i also want to make a dairy blintz cake. this entails making loads of blintzes and filling each layer with sweetened cottage cheese. i sure hope there is cottage cheese still left to buy. i wanted to bake today but i gave my toaster oven to my sister. the small one, that i thought had never been used, seems suspect. better safe than sorry, as we say at pesach time. maybe i'll buy a store bought pesach brownie cake.

i went to bed very late and i woke up with a backache. the short walk to the grocery should help with the kinks. i'm already tired and i still have a lot to do, including washing the floors. i have about 5 hours more to fool around but i'm losing my focus. i need lots of patience to complete the tasks today. i'm losing my interest fast.

wish me luck. and i will wish everyone a happy pesach!

Free At Last

2011-04-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

it's 6:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. pesach is almost over. i spent 18 hours straight, on my feet, finishing up the cleaning on sunday. i ended up doing the picture windows outside as well as the living room windows. zvi helped me take them out and of course, put them back in for me.

the kids pulled an all nighter on saturday night. they left me with sahar and didn't come home until 5:30 a.m. they managed to open the shoe store on sunday morning. zvi went off to his work. i went to sleep at 4:30 a.m. and got up to start my pesach work at 9:00 a.m. sahar had slept until 1:00 a.m. but he didn't return to sleep until 4:00 a.m. i did all of the candlesticks; gal's and my siver ones, and mom's brass ones, while he slept.

we managed to do the check for chometz about midnight. we were all beyond exhausted. i had sahar the next day and kept him in his playpen, while i cooked the sedar meal and prepared the sedar. i played chassidic negunim while i worked. sahar was content in his playpen and didn't give me a hard time. gal came home around 3:00 p.m. i took out all of the pesach utensils and dishes and set the table. i was remarkably, calm and collected. my hands were like lobster claws.

we were all pretty tired by the time we sat down to the seadar. never the less, we finished the sedar pretty early. zvi zipped through the haggadah at rapid speed. we were finished by 11:00 p.m. poor gal, fell asleep at the table. sahar managed to drink a little grape juice and eat a small piece of matzah before falling asleep. he did here dayenu in his playpen. he was so excited eating matzah. it was his first time. i fell asleep, after i did all of the washing up. that was approximately, 1:00 a.m.

we had a leisurely lunch and the kids went to sleep. sahar and i spent the afternoon outside in the garden. later on, the kids went over to gal's family. i spent the rest of the chag, shmoozing with my friend.

on wednesday night, we did a barbecue. zvi and his brother in law did the meats. i did chips for hours. i always forget how long it takes to make french fries on pesach. everyone was happy and relaxed. there were plenty of marshmallows to melt. on thursday, we all went to the little zoo in town. we all spent time chasing after sahar.

tonight, the kids are going to gal's family for shabbat. i am going to be here by myself. i've already made a lamb stew for my dinner. it is cold and rainy today. i don't really look forward to being alone, but i really don't want to walk home in the rain and wind.

my hands and arms are on the mend from various cuts and caustic cleanser burns. my foot is still cut but i'll deal with it later. at least, my hands don't look like claws. you can't imagine how swollen my hands and feet were a few days ago. by next week, i'll be fine, again. i always say, pesach should be a month long. it isn't fair that we do so much work and the holiday only lasts for a week.

i'm having a few guests for sunday night chag and monday daytime. it will be a bit of a challenge to come up with recipes with the remaining food and veggies. i think i'll manage alright. zvi will probably want to do another daytime barbecue. i have chicken wings and steaks in the freezer. i think i'll make potato latkes for a change. i'm pretty sick of the mashed potatoes by now. we finally ran out of avocado so it will be eggs and fried onions for chag. i may also make fried eggplant slices. we shall see!

in the meantime, my house still shines and it's a pleasure to be here. i wish you all a good shabbat!

who's got time to blog

2011-04-14T09:18:00.000-07:00

it's 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. just got back from the family bris. boy did i eat! after 5 days of just eating fruit and veggies, i let go. i mostly stuck with meat and veggies. i had 4 portions from the buffet before the meal was served. i only had some salad and a chicken breast for the main course. only!!!!

sahar was running around the entire time. he finally slipped and fell on his head, just before we left. his parents were nowhere to be found. his other safta was busy hosting and helping her daughter with the baby. she did manage to find time to walk around with sahar. someone from their family asked if i spoiled sahar. i merely answered, that he had a rather large family to spoil him. truth being, i think that i spoil him the least.

i had a terrible backache today. i did laundry for about 8 hours nonstop, yesterday. i hung up everything outside. my drier sort of died last week. there is tons of dried laundry all over the house. i just need a little strength and some tome to myself, to put it all away. i am totally stuck with sahar, these days. the kids are in the process of opening a shoe store in town. they are hell bent on opening it by this coming sunday. i had sahar from 8:00 am until 5:00 p.m. yesterday. i took him to his other safta and went to the veggie store. i was there for a couple of hours. i could'nt get a cab.

i walked over to my sister's to say hello to my nephew, who had just arrived from n.y. i got home at 8:00 p.m. i brought in the last of the laundry and the veggies came. i probably caught a draft in my back. it was rather cold last night. i then went over to miriam's for the shalom zachor. i took sahar home at 11:00 p.m. he was over tired and on a sugar high. he was literally, bouncing off the walls.

as a rule, i do not ply sahar with sugar all day long. i do occassionally, put black strap molasses in his milk for iron. his darling parents didn't get back until 1:30 a.m. i was beside myself. i now have to watch him all night long. i also need to finish my pesach cleaning.

some of the fruit and veggies are in the fridge. the meat and chicken are in the freezer. the paper goods, chocolates and nashes, oil, wine and matzah are all put away in the closets. the eggs are still on the kitchen table. i still need to wash the kitchen chairs. i also, have a couple of cartons of potatoes and other veggies in the hallway. i need to wash the pantry counters, so i can put the veggies away.

i still need to clean the cooking outcove. i also need to put away all my laundry and clothes from the large bedroom. i need to clean that bathroom, too. i'll have to skip doing the windows on the porches this year. i have to get myself in gear tomorrow morning, bright and early. i just feel like crawling into bed. i am good for nothing tonight.

i went to the seniors' center this morning. i was going to blow it off. my back hurt so much that i couldn't do any cleaning. i could barely walk, too. i felt very guilty about missing another week. gal, suddenly, had to rush out to town, so i quickly threw on a skirt over my pj's and went with her to town. the old folks were very happy to see me. they thought that i hadn't been there in a month. kenneth, the retired, american dentist, was especially happy to see me. he's no murry, but he relys on my company, i'm glad that i went. i felt better afterwards. my back is beginning to act up again.

i will go to miriam's on friday night. i have no intention of doing anything for shabbat. i'll have a tuna sandwich for lunch and that's it. shabbat shalom!

Fight To The Finish

2011-04-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

it is 1:00 p.m. on a thursday in the holy city of zefat. i am taking a break from babysitting. gal came back to murse sahar and put him down for a nap. her sister gave birth this morning. poor thing was in labor for over 31 hours.

safta miriam just left the hospital. she went straight to the supermarket to buy the shabbat groceries. hopefully, she'll rest for a while before she goes back to see her daughter. i don't know how she does it. she'll probably make some food for her daughter and son- in- law before she goes back to the hospital. next week, she'll make pesach cleaning as well as care for her new grandson and daughter. remember, the girls go home to sephardi mama for the first month. good luck!

in the meantime, i'm stuck here with sahar. i had him until late afternoon yesterday. i would have had him until 8:00 p.m. but while i was at the small supermarket, she had to make a run to the emergency room. her younger brother apparently, received an elbow to his eye at school. she took sahar to her mother's and her sister watched him. poor safta miriam! one kid in labor and another in the emergency room. thank goodness, they're all okay.

my poor sister is having her apartment refurbished. it's a government apartment and they're redoing the kitchen and bathroom. the apartment is totally, trashed and she's been left without water and a proper toilet for a couple of days. she and her family always used the downstairs apartment for pesach. this year, the kids are living downstairs. i would love to offer her the upstairs studio but there isn't really a proper kitchen there. the large fridge is in the storage area and i don't think we could share a kitchen for pesach.

in a perfect world, i'd invite them and do all the cooking. in that perfect world we'd all have a pesach sedar together. unfortunately, in this world it won't 'fly.' chabadnikim have a set of rituals, all their own for pesach. one cannot phathom their stringencies. as a rule, they will not eat in each others' homes at pesach. my sister will not eat any food that i've prepared in my home. she will get highly insulted if i don't eat her food. figure that out, if you can.

i invited a couple of guests for the sedar. the selling point: being a quick and happy sedar with lots of singing, afterwards. the kids agreed to be here. zvi always made a sedar for my parents. it was always very lively. my father, who suffered from dementia, always got to finish the sedar, too. we don't do all that much talkng and explaining. everyone leaves happy and satisfied. i'm pretty bombed after my first glass of wine. forget about the 4th cup!

i do feel guilty that my family and i won't be together for the holiday. we however, have never really done pesach together. even when they stayed downstairs, we were not together. about 18 years ago, zvi and i finally went to them for a sedar. it was not really to our liking. you could say that it was, pretty much, a disaster.

two years ago, after our mom died, we did do the pesach sedar in my apartment, for the first time in 10 years. my niece and husband were in from india. zvi was not living here then. he went to his in-laws that year for sedar. as it turned out, i developed bells palsey two days before the sedar night. i was drooling and unable to see out of my right eye. i was also, in excrutiating pain after the sedar night. that week remains a blurr.

i haven't done anything today for pesach. i did do the freezer and fridge yesterday. all the glass shelves are still resting on the counters. i need to reassemble them and tape them together again. i do this ritual every year. i offered to do some laundry for my sister. my eye is acting up today. i must rest. in a little while, we are going down to the hospital to see the new baby. that ought to be quite a feat, with sahar along.

next week is going to be really hard with watching sahar and finishing pesach cleaning. i don't know how i am going to finish everything. i have one less floor to do this year. you would think that it should be easier. it's not. in the amount of time that i chase after a toddler, i could have washed the windows, and floors and put away the clothes. i'm more tired after 8-10 hours with sahar, than if i painted the entire house by myself.

by the way, i wish everyone lots of health and lots of energy!!!! only happiness and good news!

Taking A Break

2011-04-04T04:53:00.000-07:00

it's 3:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i'm taking a break from pesach cleaning today. after a short lived heatwave, it turned cold and rainy once more. there goes the windows!

i took care of sahar for a few hours this morning. the little scoundrel got out of the house and was running through the grass. luckily, it wasn't raining too hard. it was quite cold, never the less. he escaped a little while ago and came running through my apartment right up to the front door.

the kids are planning to go out in a little while, so i may have to watch him some more. i already decided not to do anything too physical today. i spent about 8 hours yesterday, doing laundry and cleaning out the kitchen cabinets. it wasn't too demanding on my back. most of the laundry dried outdoors. i took in the remainder just as it started to sprinkle and threw it in the dryer.

i still have the rest of the cabinets to do but not today. i routinely, keep everything clean so it's not heavy duty work. i always clean up sticky messes and wash surfaces on a need to do so basis. the only area that i do seem to neglect, is the actual cooking area in the little kitchen outcove. that is my major pesach concern. i don't keep chometz in the pantry area, either. the cabinets are used basically, for spices, cookbooks and paper goods. the bottom shelves are used for storing wine and other beverages. i keep the hard liquior in the dishwasher.

the freezer and fridge are nearly empty. i need a warmer day to clean them. there isn't a real mess to clean up, thankfully. i still need to do the master bedroom. that entails, putting away all of the clothes, at this point. it also is a major job, washing the huge sliding glass doors and screens. i'll try to bring up the hose from the back yard.

i'm still thinking of painting the downstairs walls. they are pretty blackened in some places from the rain. i might end up 'selling' the third floor. i don't know if i'll be able to get it done in time. right now, i'm in good shape. if i start having to deal with sahar every morning, i won't be able to finish. i can't seem to work at night. my house isn't well lit so it's stopping time at sunset.

i haven't totally completed one room. i still need to make up the beds in the computer room and back bedroom. i'd like to throw the slip covers of the mattresses in the wash. i still need to wash the dining room chairs. they aren't so badly soiled this year. this however, entails unscrewing the seats. i depend on zvi for this task.

he was supposed to go to the army today in tel aviv. he put on his most winkled army work clothes and looked like a real shlumperdink. gal made him undress and dutifully, ironned the uniform. in the end, he didn't go. i'm kind of hoping that sahar goes to safta miriam at 4:00 p.m. but i don't know if gal will drag him out in the rain. if he does go out, i'll surely start to feel guilty that i'm not cleaning something. you can't win.

Oy My aching Back!

2011-03-31T12:05:00.000-07:00

it's 9:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i got up early this morning because i thought i had to take care of sahar. my back and shoulders are really strained. i ache! sahar went with his mom to the bank. i think she quit her job. i fought with the idea of staying home and continuing my pesach spring cleaning. my conscience got the better of me and i went to the senior's center.

i could barely move. i took a cab. it was a good thing that i went. they had another conference and i took over the group for two hours. we were all sitting outside in the sun. there was a heat wave today. one man, eliezer from romania, spent over an hour talking about death and burial in israel. although these elders suffer from dementia, they want to be happy. they were getting pretty tired of this depressing discussion.

i finally turned around the topic to pesach and started singing songs form the hagadda. one man, actually, got up and went back inside. he had had enough of the death talk. tatiana, the organ player, saved the day and came to play. i quickly got up and brought the electric organ from the other room. i was also successful in convincing one of the men to be showered. he had refused his daughter, earlier. i made a big spiel out of it and involved the other elders. we gave him a round of applause.

the seniors wanted me to dance for them. last week i did a mock tango and performed 'besame mucho' for them. they didn't understand that my back was sore and that it hurt to move. they wanted another performance. i got up and danced with eliezer. he actually spun me around a couple of times. i do not in general, dance with men. i really went out of my way to please this man. later in the day, when i kissed all the ladies goodbye for shabbat, he was quite upset that i didn't give him a kiss, too. if he only knew that i never even shake hands with men, he'd be shocked.

i said goodbye to everyone and went to town to look for slip covers for the couch. i ended up not buying any. i decided to stick with what i already had. sometimes i get into frugal mode. i came home from town and got into bed. i watched a little television and had the intention of doing some pesach cleaning. after a while, i couldn't get out of bed. my back was really stiff. i managed to hang up the curtains in the kitchen.

i stopped off at the local supermarket and bought a few things for shabbat. it's my turn to have the kids. i bought a loaf cake but i ended up eating it all. what's my problem? it will be a very simple shabbat. i ate a mango popsicle. i am supposed to be allergic to mango. i did feel a bit heady, afterwards. i think that i will just focus on making shabbat and getting the kitchen in order tomorrow morning.

hopefully, i'll feel better on sunday and spend the day working. i can't force myself to do when i can't anymore. i do seem to be dreaming each night. what a chiddush!

i thought that i'd be able to at least, finish the bedrooms today. well, i couldn't. the old grey mare ain't what she used to be. i took care of sahar for almost an hour tonight, while his parents went to the supermarket. hyper!!!!!! now i'm going back to bed. shabbat shalom!!

Pesach Cleaning Update

2011-03-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

it's nearly 9:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just finished my pesach cleaning for wednesday. i got a late start. i didn't have to take care of sahar this morning. ideally, i should have gotten up at 7:00 a.m. and begun my day. i actually, got to bed last night before midnight.

i happened to pass out while watching television. i woke up at 1:00 a.m. and went back to sleep. i was glad that i had fallen asleep relatively, early for me. i wasn't feeling all that bright and chiopper this morning. i was feeling groggy and achey. i really have to stop gorging on cheap icecream.

i watched some television, gorged on more cheap icecream, and ate a sandwich. i made a phone call and lamented to my sister, how i couldn't get motivated to clean. i hated wasting a 'free' day. gal's sister is due any day now, and who knows when i'll get more free time to myself. as i watched television, i cleaned the american comforter lounge chair. i didn't really find any sizeable chometz. i usually throw buckets of bleachy water at it. not today. i simply used a damp rag.

i then went through the family photos and framed pictures and windexed them. i washed a few glass vases and chachkas. i then took out the kitchen windows, all four of them, and the screens and washed them in the bath tub. i washed down the israeli equivalent of venetian blinds. i then painted the window sills with the left over thick, white paint. i then windexed and dried the windows and put them back in.

i forced myself next, to take out the two large bedroom windows and screen, i painted the window sills and i washed the triest. i then went outside and washed down the outside of the triest with the hose. i then came back in and repainted the sills, because the hose washed away the fresh paint. i then shlepped the heavy bedroom windows into the bath tub and washed them. they were really heavy. i windexed them and had a hard time getting them back in. i was really tired.

there was a small flood in the bathroom. i had to soak up all of the water with a towel and keep on ringing it out in the toilet. i can't do another thing now. i know that the windows are probably streaked. i simply, cannot compete with the sephardi neighbors. the men usually steam clean the windows. my sills were always beige. now they are bright white. i just couldn't be bothered going to town to buy new paint. the white will have to suffice. afterall, it's the men that do the painting, anyway.

the rest of the house looks ransacked. the curtains are all strewn on the kitchen floor. i meant to throw them in the washing machine. i guess, it will have to wait until tomorrow morning. the kids should be home soon and i don't like using the machine while they're home. i also need to wash the shower curtains tomorrow. i didn't have the strength to unhook them from the shower. i must go to the senior's center in the morning. i feel guilty not going, athough i feel guilty not staying home and cleaning for pesach. there is still so much to do.

i cleaned out the meat silverware drawer but i still have all the kitchen cabinets to deal with. all you need is strength, i guess. i definately, feel my age. i remember in my 'youth' taking amphetamine to clean for pesach. oh, what i could accomplish in those days! i used to wash the wallpaper until it shined. those were the days!

Monday Monday

2011-03-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

it is 4:45 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. gal came home early and just took darling sahar over to his younger grandma. gal and zvi have courses this evening until 8:00 p.m.

my back and shoulder are still aching from yesterday's preliminary pesach cleaning 'workout'. the painted wall looks fresh although, there are patches of plaster that show through. however, since i took a remedy, i don't obsess over them, anymore. there is this one little circle that i'm planning on replastering and painting this evening.

i got up early today but fell back to sleep. i have started to dream again, lately. i should be writing them down for the homeopath, but i really can't be bothered. the other day i dreamt about a very suceessful production i put on in the big theatre in zefat. if only dreams came true!

zvi woke me up from another enjoyable dream this morning to take care of sahar. i was out of the house by 9:00 a.m. and managed to sign up at unemployment, pay the water bill and add the kids names to my bill, and also pay the real estate tax bill. this involved climbing up a lot of steps with the stroller and dealing with a crabby and screaming little toddler.

as soon as i got off the bus, i bought sahar a chocolate milk, a roll and a beraka. he ate a bit of the roll and crumbled most of it at the unemployment office. they asked me if i had an e-mail address and i don't know why i answered yes. you never, ever, volunteer information here.

he then drank most of the chocolate milk at the real estate tax office. he then started making bubbles and regurgitated some of the chocolate milk out. thank goodness, i brought wipes. as usual, it took quite awhile. sahar was getting restless, being strapped into his stroller. i didn't dare unleash him in the office.

i explained to the cashier/clerk that i had already received my discount but that it wasn't calculated on the latest bill. she looked on the computer at my account and tried to explain that the discount has to be processed at the beginning of every year. once again, i explained that i had already taken care of the paper work awhile ago. apparently, another one of the clerks hadn't entered the info into the computer. so everyone got the wrong bill. are we having fun yet?

i paid the arnona and went on to the water tax office. it was packed. everyone was waiting for a particular clerk, including me. he is the only one on the ball there. i took a number and left. i walked up the block to the pet store. i wanted to check out a small dog. i came back shortly after. i let sahar out of the stroller and of course, he headed for the door and the street. i had to hold onto him very tightly. i refused to let an old lady a head of me. i couldn't contain sahar anymore. he was beginning to yell. i paid the bill and made a mad dash to the bus stop. he finally fell asleep.

it was such a warm and sunny day that i really regretted not doing pesach cleaning. instead, i did 5 batches of laundry and hung it all outside. while i was pulling out more laundry inside, sahar somehow, made it over the wall to the neighbor's yard. i didn't hear any crying or find any marks, so i figured that he knew what he was doing. a little while later, i came outside to find him sitting on a plastic chair, holding his care bear ball. don't ask how he managed that feat.

i am really aching now. i want to do more windows. i'll probably get stuck with sahar tomorrow. i can't move, right now. i think i'll take a short coffee break. i still have tons of laundry to bring inside. i bought a mild cleaning agent to add to water. i did not attempt to buy anything more caustic than that.

the non chametz dog food should be in the pet shop this week. i prefer having it sooner than later. one year, when we had a zoo here, i had to find pesach sunflower seeds for the parrot, blood worms for the goldfish, chometz free dog food, and i can't remember what we did for the hamsters. those were the days!

Getting Started

2011-03-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

it's 5:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. the kids left for tel aviv very early this morning. they took sahar to his other grandma. i should have jumped out of bed and started my pesach cleaning right away. afterall, it was a warm and sunny day. a perfect day for being wet. a perfect day for doing windows.

too bad that i couldn't fall asleep last night. i turned off the television way after 4:00 a.m. i wonder if it had anything to do with the last movie that i watched? just a little diddy about an arab woman who was falsely accused of adultery and stoned to death by the men in the village. it was way too graphic if you ask me.

my eyes were burning all morning long. i was feeling very guilty about not doing something for pesach. i finally forced myself out of bed and threw on my cleaning jeans dress at about 2:00 p.m. i started with the windows in the computer room. i washed the venetian blinds with soapy water. i have, absolutely, no cleaning agents in the house. i had a bit of dishwashing detergent left and i used that. i am trying very hard to stay away from the more caustic cleansers. my face cannot take them, anymore.

i did use windex, which is really, very caustic. i know i shouldn't have. i made up a batch of plaster and started repairing the outside window ledges. i really want to give them a coat of paint, too. i ended up straining my back trying to reach high crevices while i stood on a short step ladder. i didn't feel like climbing up a tall ladder outside by myself.

i wish i could report that i finished the computer room today. the truth is, that i managed to put away all of the costumes and purim wigs. i am just too tired to continue. i have given up for the day, already. the windows look smudged but i cannot deal with taking them out again and respraying them. i'm going for a fresh look. i am not going for perfection. i did that two years ago and ended up with a very twisted face.

it feels like rain. it is getting colder, too. i should have gone outside a lot earlier. what is one to do? afterall, we are not getting any younger, are we?
the computer room could use a fresh coat of paint. i painted it beige when we moved in over ten years ago.

well, i just couldn't leave well enough alone. i got the remainder of a can of peachy paint from about two years ago and added a bunch of really thick white paint from last year. then, i painted the wall behind the bed in the computer room. what a mess i made! paint all over the bed, the floor and all over my clothes and me.

Getting Sober

2011-03-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

it is 11:30 p.m. on motsei shabbat in the holy city of zefat. i spent the day alone, reading psalms and the weekly newspaper. i finally washed all of the wine glasses from purim. i threw out the plastic wine and dessert glasses. it's getting awfully, close to pesach, now. i have to get moving and start my cleaning.

after an entire week of a veggie and fruit cleanse, i started binging again, on left over purim treats. it is hopeless! i spent the week with sahar, downstairs. we never left the house because the weather was rainy and cold. it's really strange that we had two warm and sunny days for purim. it usually turns really cold for purim. one year we even had snow.

i am getting sober now. i have to buckle down and put away all the purim costumes and shtick. i just need the time alone. i think i have sahar tomorrow. his parents are planning a trip to tel aviv to check out a potential business prospect. that means that i might have to take care of my adorable grandchild the entire day and night.

i have to get myself to the unenmployment office, as well as the water company and city tax office. i can't imagine shlepping there with sahar. i hate to put if off anymore. in my mind, i know exactly, what i need to do for pesach. in reality, i can't imagine accomplishing anything with the baby about.

i am really still tired from purim. i really over did it. i am not feeling up to doing physically hard cleaning jobs. my fridge and freezer, as well as my kitchen cabinets are pretty empty. it shouldn't be that hard to clean them right away. i'd like to start with the really hard job of cleaning the small kitchen. it is really a mess. this year i think that i am going to store all of the pesach goods in the main kitchen. i usually use the small kitchen pantry as my pesach kitchen.

it is still really cold in the house. it is not conducive to start using a lot of water and getting wet, yet. forget about doing the windows, now!

Purim Is All Gone

2011-03-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

it's 6:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. purim came and went. i haven't been out of the house since sunday night. what can one expect after 12 hours straight of drinking pina coladas. today it's wednesday, shuk day in zefat. i wonder if they had a shuk today. it's been raining on and off. i already blogged my story but i hit the wrong button and lost the entire blog. what fun! i haven't cleaned up after purim yet.

in the end, we were only 10 at the purim table. i made, way, too many hamentashen and rum balls. i also prepared too many chicken wings and meatballs. i usually can gage this better, but i was expecting about 14 for dinner. the kids decided to go to gal's family for the day. i was, honestly, glad not to have to chase after sahar while i was drinking.

i was pretty exhausted on saturday night. i had taken care of sahar all of shabbat day and i had been on my feet all of friday, cooking for shabbat and purim. the kids had decided to be home for shabbat and of course, only let me know on thursday night. my gal pal came running over, all upset, on saturday afternoon. she had lost all of the purim wigs and her gloves. she actually, expected that i would be upset, too. i told her that it was no big deal. we would simply go to plan 'b' and wear human grey wigs. afterall, we were trying to emulate the queen of england. i gave her a pair of short white gloves and a short grey wig.

as soon as shabbat ended, i did the dishes and then jumped into a shower. i then tried to get into my dress. i needed my girl friend to zip me up and safety pin me shut. i gave her something to wear and i started making up my face. i wasn't going for glamerous, but somehow, i achieved it. i wore my mom's mink stole and long white gloves.

my girl friend decided that she didn't want to go to the all female party at the chabad house. she opted for the mixed party at a gallery in the artist colony. i left her off at the gallery and climbed up the hill to the chabad house in the old city. when i got there they were just in the middle of the megillah. afterwards, i decided to try to start the show, because it was really getting late. we really wanted to make it to the other party.

we asked the mc's if we could do our shtick first, as we were planning to leave. we were rejected rather easily. afterall, they had their rules and regulations. we hadn't gone to the grand rehearsal in the monsoon rains. who were we anyway?? i had originally, planned to interrupt the show from the audience, after a couple of acts, and spring into our shidduch shtick. it would not have gone over very big here. this group were, way, too serious for us. it didn't matter that we had iniated the first purim party at the chabad house many years ago. as we were told, that was then, and this was now.

we left in a mock 'huff' and promised to return to perform. we shlepped over to the other party and it was dead there. as soon as i arrived, i was ushered onto the stage and given a chair to sit in. they announced that the queen of england had arrived. i sat there and gave the queen's wave, while they snapped my picture for a while. it was pretty neat. a little girl begged to dance with the queen. i put my stole around her and swung her around. she was so happy.

my pal and i made our way back to the stage and did an impromtu skit. she grabbed the mike and asked me what i wanted from her. i answered that i wanted a shidduch. that got a big laugh. we got a round of applause when we told the crowd that we had just been kicked out of the chabad house. my friend then broke into her humorous song called 'he's gorgeous'. i pranced around her and made adoring faces. it was a huge hit. those little kids really loved us!

we then made our way back to the chabad house and they were only up to the 5th act. we were supposedly, the 16th act. we ended up staying, way too long. i felt very guilty about ditching my friend so we left again. it was nearly midnite. when we got back to the gallery my friend had already left. so, we shlepped back to town and i caught a taxi home. i was really frustrated, having missed the dance party and not being able to perform.

when i got home, my friend wasn't here. i somehow, got out of my dress and took off my stage makeup. she finally showed up. she had gone to the chabad house to find me and had returned to the party, too. how we didn't run into each other is still a mystery. she got a ride back home. i ended up being on the phone with my gal pal til 3:30 a.m. it was almost impossible to fall asleep.

i got up at 9:00 a.m. and got ready to hear the megillah. i felt like crap. i didn't know how i was going to be ready for the meal at 3:00 p.m. i got back from shul and poured myself a pina colada. forget about coffee! i felt better immediately, so i kept on drinking while i set the table, made the chicken and salad, put the food on the hot plate and gave out shaloch manot to neighbors.

on saturday, i was feeling goofy. i put a stocking cap on my head to feign baldness, and then put on the white knitted kippah with didelocks. everyone laughed hysterically, so i decided to wear it for the purim meal. i had told my friend that we were all dressing up in leopard. i knew she'd flip.

my girlfriend came over early. she was dressed as a chassidic rebbe. she really looked like a little man. i decided that she was the 'kvetcher' rebbe and i was her bacchur. i made facial hair with my mascara and darkened my eyebrows. i put on a long white dress and looked like a yemenite chassid. we went next store to the neighbors and shocked the heck out of them. i gave out shots of whiskey and left.

we gave out chocolate lollies and bags of nash to everyone we met on the street. when the guests arrived, i invited them in to the kvetcher rebbe's tish. i kept on drinking and served the meal in character. i blasted jewish trance music and stayed by my rebbe's side throughout the meal. zvi came home and nearly plotzed when he saw us. i looked so much like him, it was scarey. we then went on to another household to hear the megillah and do our rebbe shtick.

i then went to visit my sister who was shocked to see me dressed up like that. i ended up at gal's family for awhile and then went home with gal. i stayed in bed all of monday. i had wanted to visit the seniors but i couldn't get it together. i spent the day eating left over purim chocolates. i even, fell asleep in my costume. i somehow, managed to clean off the makeup. i had sahar with me yesterday and today, and i may have him tomorrow, too. i don't know when i'll get my place in order.

Business As Usual

2011-03-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

it's 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just got home a little while ago. it took over an hour for the bus to come. the town was very crowded with visiters today. the school children were dressed in their purim costumes today.

i didn't sleep a wink last night. i looked at the posted photos of the fogel family who were butchered by arab terrorists on friday night. usually, you do not see these type of pictures in the media. after a terrorist attack, you see the empty shell of a bus, or the broken glass and debris from the shops. you never see the victims. you usually are not shown blood. the zaka volunteers come to gather all of the blood and body parts to bury. you are always shown pictures of the victims from happier times.

this is the first time that pictures of this nature were seen on the net. the family agreed to it. you cannot imagine the carnage that these terrorists, may they be struck down, managed to do in a very short time. i will spare you the details because by now, it's probably been discusssed on the american news. i also, cannot talk about these horrors any more.

i looked at the clock last night and it was already 4:00 a.m. i wondered if it was that last cup of coffee that i had or the realization that true evil does exist? i didn't want to go to the senior's center this morning. i just wanted to stay in bed.

i was tired and depressed. i figured that they would probably be holding the purim party for the seniors today. i came to the conclusion, that it was probably, better for me to join in. i had my friend's costume queen dress with me and luckily, a long red purim wig. i didn't have the strength to get undressed and put on the queen dress but at least, i donned the red wig and started dancing.

after a while, i really was feeling joyfull. many of the seniors were dressed in costumes and some even did a bit of shtick. it was a great success. we have to go out of our way to make joy and simcha. we cannot let our persecuters rob us of that. i stayed with the group until after lunch and then made my way to the open air market. yes, wednesday is still shuk day in zefat.

i ran into my son and grandson at the shuk. sahar saw me and wanted me to hold him at once. i left him with his other grandma and merrily went on my way. i was on a mission to find black gym pants for my friend to wear under her chassidic robe on purim. mission accomplished! for only 25 shekels to boot.

as i said, i waited in the hot sun for over an hour for the bus. i should have just jumped into a taxi. sometimes, i pick the wrong time to be frugal. today was one of those times.

i had wanted to get home to make the meatballs for the purim seudah on sunday. i've already made the turkey stew meat, non dairy chocolate rum icecream, and two batches of frozen rum drinks. tomorrow is a fast day. i guess the meatballs can wait until then. that's if i don't have sahar tomorrow. on saturday night, the little 'genious' climbed up to my apartemnt and entered all by himself. i turned my back on him for a moment yesterday, and found him on the third floor.

after a month on the south beach diet, i didn't lose more than a pound or two. i ended up binging last shabbat on rum balls and chocolate ship cookies. i was pretty disgusted with myself. the remedy doesn't seem to have helped me this time. i can barely zip up my queen dress for purim. it doesn't look all that pretty from the belly and behind, either. i have been on a raw veggie and fruit diet all week. i hope that this drastic measure helps.

i've been eating green salads with cucumbers, oranges, bananas, avocado, tomatoes and apples, all week long. i indulged in a mustard and honey vinagrette. who knows? perhaps this will finally get that huge stomach to go down a bit. it has been pretty tasty.

Making Hamentashen

2011-03-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

it's 9:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just finished making a few dozen hamentashen. i was 'off' today and needed to use the apricot filling that i made a few days ago.

i've only made hamentashen once before. i totally forgot how to make the triangles. i went through a hand full of pastry circles until i finally got the hang of it. the dough was easy to work with so i decided to make up another bunch. the second dough was not all that easy to work with.

i usually use rye or whole wheat flour when i bake. this time, i used mostly all white flour with half a cup of whole wheat flour thrown in for good measure. i used unrefined cannola oil which has a very strong taste. i didn't have any other oil.

the first batch of hamentashen looked professional. the second batch wasn't so good looking. i started making some with a poppy seed filling but it tasted very bitter. perhaps the poppy seeds were stale or rancid. i will see how the filling tastes in the morning. i don't know if i really want to make any more hamentashen, at all.

i finally got all of the purim costumes and accessories for the kids. i bought a cute and very inexpensive mickey mouse costume for sahar. i also have the lion costume that i bought last week. i decided not to return it. i bought minnie mouse ears for gal. i also got her a pair of red poka dot gloves. i cut off the bottom half of an old poka dot dress to make a skirt for gal. i simply made an elastic wasteband and voila!

i added decorative gold stickers to zvi's zorro hat and cape. i bought a really cheap sword. i din't buy the zorro sword. it was 13 shekels. i already spent hundreds of shekels on purim shtick. i reckon that a 5 shekel sword will suffice.

my niece called me bright and early to let me know that the purim package had arrived in dehli. my little grand nephew was very excited, indeed. he was running around in his cape and persian crown. his dad loved his knitted kipah with long sidelocks attached. my niece loved the disco ball earrings and sequinned hat. i am so happy that i made them laugh all the way over in dehli. the little 3 month old ballerina was sleeping so she didn't get to try on her outfit.

yesterday, i took sahar to town with me. he napped while i hit the purim stores one last time. i spent nearly 3 hours there. i brought him over to gal's parents, afterwards. gal was supposed to visit a friend in that neighborhood, after work. as usual, the plans changed without my knowing about it.

the younger kids were home from school already. purim music was blasting and there were tons of costumes strewn all over the furniture. i shlepped over remnants of taffeta material because the boys want to be clowns this year for purim. in the meantime, they put sahar in a leopard material outfit and drew whiskers on his face. he was quite pleased to look at himself in the mirror.

i made some macaroni and salad for the kids when they got back home last night. they haven't gotten back yet tonight. i wouldn't mind having tomorrow off too. we shall see.

they are predicting a cold spell again and are even talking about snow tomorrow. we have had summer like weather for over a week. i am not looking forward to a snow storm. i had to put on my down coat when i ran down to the super. yesterday we were running around without coats.

i still have to finish the 2 queen dresses for the purim shtick. my friend called to say that they are scheduling a rehearsel for the purim shtick. i want to be spontaneous. i will not be censured by any committee. i will simply show up the night of the party and i'll do my shtick. or maybe, i won't do anything at all. we will see, won't we!

Tired In Zefat

2011-03-03T21:07:00.000-08:00

it's 7:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i got up half an hour ago. i don't have to babysit or do too much of anything today. i'm planning on going out to shabbat dinner with the kids.

i should do a major clean up because there's laundry all over the place and the floors are all filthy from the rain. i also have to make the hamentashen dough because i made the apricot filling on wednesday. right now, i don't have the energy to make myself a coffee. i have this nagging headache from yesterday that won't go away.

i went to the seniors' center yesterday but it was not a fun day. the electricity was off and we couldn't play music or make hot drinks. the russians who play live music for the group were off on a 3 day trip. i looked around for murry, my pal from brooklyn, but i couldn't find him. i figured he was down the hall in physiotherapy. finally, i asked if murry had come in.

i was told, rather, matter of factly, that murry had died. i was in total disbelief and started crying. i didn't want to upset the other seniors so i stopped crying right away. never the less, my heart was aching. it still is. i only got to know murry for a year but he became a part of my life. he reminded me so much of my dad. it was like having my dad alive again. murry was a good man from brooklyn who worked hard and took care of his family. he adored his wife doris. he had just turned 85.

doris, like my mom, took care of her husband and was devoted to his well being. she moved to zefat a few years ago to be near her only grown son and his family. one of her grandsons moved in to help her with murry. doris had worked in a doctor's office back in my old neighborhood in brooklyn. we had so many of the same references. she had given up a pretty good lifestyle in florida and then in nahariya to come to zefat.

murry used to tell me about their love of ballroom dancing. murry had hardening of the arteries and was suffering from dementia. he was the only one in the group that knew my name and actually asked about me. he was highly nervous and i spent most of my time there trying to get him to calm down. we had long conversations about baseball. we were both lamenting the fact that 'american idol' wasn't being shown on israeli cable this year.

i knew murry loved doris but he never spoke about his stepson or the grandkids. i guess he couldn't remember them so well. i went over to visit doris yesterday. i wasn't quite sure she was up for visitors. she agreed to have me visit but she didn't want the social workers to come from the center. murry had spoken about me to doris. he had appreciated all of the attention i had given him.

i came home from the center and made some blueberry muffins and a vegetable lentil soup to bring to doris. i needed to see her. she's in shock mode. it hasn't hit her yet. she's not crying yet. she's a stoic, just like my mom was. murry had a huge heart attack and they found him on the bathroom floor. it took the ambulance 25 minutes to get there. he was still alive when he got to the hospital which was 5 minutes away. the head doctor said that he didn't have a chance.

doris said that murry was a fighter. he seemed pretty with it the next day and told doris to go home and get some rest. he then told his daughter-in-law to make sure that doris is taken care of and he went to sleep for good. murry and doris had been married for 36 years. he met her when she was a widow with a young teenaged son. murry was called 'poppie' by his grandkids who adored him. it was so good to see where he lived and meet his family. doris showed me a photo of murry from the 70's. he was so handsome!

i met doris at the center's chanukah party. i invited her and murry to come over for dinner sometime. it was just too hard for her to manage something like that. murry was a handfull. doris never slept. doris is an elegant lady. may she find comfort amongst the mourners of zion.

shabbat shalom!

Rum Is In The Air

2011-03-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

it's 7:00 p.m. on wednesday evening in the holy city of zefat. i just finished eating a plate of stewed tomatoes, kidney beans and eggs. i was really craving a hot meal. i had some cottage cheese and chopped peanuts and walnuts, earlier today.

i went to the post office bright and early because they were closed yesterday. the postal clerk didn't think there was enough time to get it to dehli by purim through the regular mail. i ended up paying more for express mail than what i would have spent to buy new costumes. that's the price you pay for waiting for the last minute. i started this project weeks ago but only got my niece's address this week. i was also hoping that someone from israel might be heading to dehli soon.

i ended up sending a feather boa with the other items. it all fit into a large mailing envelope. i packed each outfit in a seperate plastic bag. i also sent a package of purim clown napkins, and some paper eye masks and crowns. i hope this will help bring simcha to the dehli chabad house. i really hope that my niece takes pix of the two kids dressed up. i didn't get the chance. i also hope that the outfit fits my nephew and isn't too small.

i spent my morning and afternoon making purim chocolates. i made clown lollies, masks, megillahs, groggers and hamentashen. i also made 4 different kinds of rum balls. i kept on licking the batter from my fingers. i nearly got intoxicated from all the sugar. i ran out of corn syrup right away. i simply, substituted honey for the remainder. i also made an apricot filling for hamentashen. hopefully, i'll make the batter tomorrow. i'm way too tired to do anything else this evening.

i'm still not certain what i will give out for the purim gift food packages. i intended on using some of the rum balls. i'm not sure that i made enough. i really dread making any more. i still have to make a poppy seed filling for the hamentashen. not tonight, believe me.

the cable guy came at 2:00 p.m. but the t.v man never showed. at one point, i ran out of ground walnuts and started using ground peanuts. i then took out my new little food processor and started grinding up walnuts. the chocolates were also a bother. i guess i was tired today. i want to make up a batch of white chocolate molds using white chocolate chips.

i am planning on making some non dairy chocolate rum icecream, too. i think the little food processor is strong enough to chop up ice for my frozen dacquaries. i'd like to make up all of the desserts a head of time because they will freeze well. perhaps, i can also cook up the turkey stew and freeze it too. if i don't have to cook for the shabbat before purim, i'll make the purim meal on friday. i usually have sahar on fridays, but i've learned how to cook around his nap times. i've ruled out making quinoi for the seudah because it was expensive. i bought brown rice instead.

i hope i'll get over to the seniors' center tomorrow. i prefer going there on thursday because it's fun when the musicians come. we shall see.

Purim Is Getting Real

2011-03-01T21:58:00.000-08:00

it's 8:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. today is wednesday and i'm off today. i've had sahar all week. i took him with me to the homeopath on sunday because there was no one else available to watch him. i kept him in his playpen all morning, while i did a bunch of laundry. he sat very quietly listening to his brachas book. he fell asleep the minute i put him in the stroller. he slept through the bus ride and woke up the minute we entered the homeopath's office.

luckily, he didn't disturb us too greatly. i got a new remedy and i think it's working. i feel lighter and more active already. she recommended getting someone else to watch sahar so i can get out again and go back to exercise. i'm thinking about returning in the spring. it's getting closer even though it's still freezing in the house.

i walked to town yesterday with sahar. it felt good. i felt in my stride again. i went to the toy store to buy some more costumes and things for purim. i got a zorro mask, cape and hat for zvi. i got the cheap kids' kind. i wasn't going to spring for the more expensive adult version. i think it's funnier this way. i also got a black hat with fake long side locks for a friend. i bought a big knitted kipa with long side locks to send to my neice's husband in india. i bought a sequinned cap for my neice and sent a pair of long, dangling earrings to match.

i spent a long time at the second hand clothes store and finally found a chassidic robe for my friend to wear with the black hat with side locks. i love dressing people up. another friend came over on sunday night and i fixed her up with a 'classic' beauty pageant look. i even threw in a pair of long white gloves.

i'm on my way to the post office this morning to mail the purim package to india. i'm a little nervous that it may not get there in time. purim is 19 days away. it's getting real. i should start making the rum balls and hamentashen and chocolates real soon. i think that i'm getting more in focus now.

i have to be back by 11:00 this morning because the t.v repairman and cable technician are on their way. we bought two new wall screen t.v.s this week. i know it's a lot of money but we are paying it off in 10 payments, each. i will take one of the heavy t.v sets upstairs for my rental. gal's sister is taking back her t.v. that we were using for the day room for sahar.

i still haven't gone back to the dentist to have my bridge made. i'm kind of thinking about implants now. i met a friend in town and she was not so thrilled with her bridge. i'm not so thrilled about not being able to chew for a few months, either. we shall see.

i think i finally have my purim menu down. it includes: beef meatballs, turkey stew, sweet and hot chicken wings, wrapped cocktail franks, rice and lentils, pareve chili and a huge green salad. i will make salmon fillets for the veggies in the crowd. i bought a package of bareka dough so i might make the sephardi eggs in a basket to give out for the shaloch manot. all i need is energy.

Costumes Are Us

2011-02-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

it is 8:30 p.m. on thursday nite in the holy city of zefat. zvi just went out to play basketball with his brother-in-law. apparently, there is a bunch of haredi guys who get together and play on a regular basis. who knew?

zvi was always a goalie in soccer. i do not believe that he ever played basketball in his life. my father up in heaven should be kvelling. when zvi was a young boy i actually took him to the local school yard to shoot some hoops. i was pretty good at it. he was not.

i was watching sahar until a little while ago until he gave me a shot in the mouth with the remote control. it is a miracle that he didn't knock out my front tooth. luckily, the bottle of arnica was nearby. it is way too cold in my house to apply ice. zvi took him back downstairs to his mom. poor guy wanted to know why his son is so violent.

i went to volunteer at the senior's today. my new thing is to dance for them. every thursday they have a half hour concert with a lovely russian lady and man. she plays organ and he plays guitar. they are totally out of sync with each other. it's hilarious. anyway, i got all the seniors to play marachas and tambourines. it was good fun. too bad, that i got winded easily. i'm really out of shape. after more than two weeks on the south beach, i only lost 2 pounds. i knew i shouldn't have all those carrots. oh well...

i get to see the homeopath next week. perhaps, she can give me a remedy to speed up the old metabolism. afterall, i've got to fit into my purim costume soon. i spent the entire day, nearly 6 hours, yesterday, creating a persian style crown for my nephew. i had bought an adult one in town and tore it apart. i hand sewed the pieces onto a large velvet kipa. i kept adding parts and more trim and even cut up a silk shirt for the colored stones.

i didn't really like how it turned out. i'm not a perfectionist but i know what i like. i had an old children's costume cape and i cut it down to size and added tons of trim. i'm still not satisfied with it. it needs for pizaz. i'm also struggling with the pantaloons that i bought for a small fortune in the second hand clothes store. i extended the waistband by adding some silver and white elastic. it still needs trim and a bit of a hem.

i also need to finish up the ballet costume for my niece. i think i should have just sprung for new costumes. i started remodelling a dress for a friend for the purim party. i haven't touched it in a week. the house is covered in bits of thread and trim and i need to make shabbat for the kids tomorrow and babysit too.

i do have a month to finish the dress but i'm anxious to get it done already. i love costumes. costumes is my life. i wanted to be a costume designer in my youth. i designed the costumes for our high school sing for 3 years. i won best costume award twice. i even beat out the seniors one year. i was going to be the next edith head.

i don't know how i lost sight of my dream. why didn't i go to fashion school? i don't really remember when it stopped being important to me. i always loved dressing up on halloween. i even won third prize in a costume contest at the waldorf astoria back in the day. i have always wanted to dress people for purim. my fantasy was a purim boutique called "costumes are us".

you can get everything for purim nowadays at the local toy stores. they even had obama masks last year. but my costumes are original. they are made from real clothes that i buy in second hand stores. i then mix it up with trims and wigs and costume jewelry. hopefully, i'll get some pix put on the blog this purim.

i bought a store made lion costume for sahar. it was relatively, cheap. it fit him just right. of course, he had no patience to wear it. i showed him how he looked in the mirror and he was quite amused. i want to create a small crown and attach it to the lion's head making him a lion king. we'll see. i don't think the clan will appreciate his being an animal. what could i do? the bumble bee and the mickey mouse costumes were very costly and there is no way that he would keep the headbands on.

i haven't even thought about cooking for shabbat. so far i defrosted a package of chopped chicken meat. i bought a lettuce and package of humus in town. i'll go to the local super with sahar in the morning and buy potatoes, carrots, and fish. i might even make some tomato relish. let's face it, my head is in purim and costumes.
i would love to dress sahar up as a chassid but the kids aren't into it.

i wish you all a shabbat shalom!

Sad News

2011-02-21T00:01:00.000-08:00

it's 10:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i jumped out of bed at 7:00 a.m. and showered for a change. unfortunately, the water was only luke warm. bummer! i quickly got dressed and went outside and let the dogs out. it seemed sunny. it was like a monsoon here, yesterday. we still need more rain desperately.

i saw the kids outside loading up sahar's stroller. that is how i knew that i was not on duty today. when i went to sleep last night it was still up in the air. i watched him yesterday for twelve hours. he was pretty much delightful. he did try to head butt me a few times but i was able to protect my face. he was very tired from his big trip to the big city for shabbat.

i bought him an electronic book of brachos for children. it looks like pages with cassettes. he really loves it. he kept on playing a certain bracha for bread, repeatedly, and would answer amen. i think i'll buy one for mendush in india.

i'm on my way to sign in at the unemployment office 'downtown'. i needed to stop for a moment and reflect on some very sad news that i just received. my cousin charlette passed away.

i hadn't seen her in over 40 years. she lived in california. her daughter-in-law and granddaughter read this blog. i have never met them. my sister has become reacquainted with this part of our family and always speaks of their warmness and
open hospitality. i was fantasizing about getting reacquainted too.

charlette was my father's niece. his sister mollie was my favorite aunt. i have such lovely memories of visiting her in california when i was in my colege years.

we didn't really get together with our father's family much. it was mostly at an occassional funeral or wedding, where we would meet. i grew up knowing my mother's tantes. her mother's sisters lived near us. they would come to our house to visit with my grandmother.

i regret not knowing charlette. my sister says that she was really very loving and warm. her husband mike looked strangely, very similar to my father's father, handlebar mustache and all. charlette recently gave my sister a pair of our grandmother's candleticks. how generous was that! it meant the world to us. it was a piece of our family history. we never met our grandmother chana, as she died before my parents even met. i just found out that aunt mollie lived with charlette and mike until her passing.

thinking about charlette makes me very sad. it brings up my parent's recent passing and it marks the end of a certain era. for my sister, it is much harder, having lost someone that she only just found. my sister is our family's historian and resident genealogist. she is the link to our family's story.

my niece in zefat couldn't believe that my sister and i actually had cousins. she has a ton of chabad cousins. they are all close in age and see each other mostly in new york and occassionally, in israel. we grew up without the luxury. our cousins were much older than us and already grown up.

i pray that my cousin charlette has an easy passing to the next world. may her husband and children be comforted amongst the mourners of zion! to my readers, karen and michelle, i am deeply sorry for your loss. may you find comfort in time. my offer of hospitality stands open to any of you who find their way to zefat to come and visit here with me. G-d bless!!

Still Peeved

2011-02-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

it is 7:00 p.m on thursday evening in the holy city of zefat. i am still peeved about the kids leaving. again, it's not that they left. it's their lack of courtesy and concern for me.

in spite of this, i managed to have a good time in town before i came home. i didn't want to be home when they left, anyway. spiteful? just a bit.

i found a little pink ballet costume in my purim closet. i must have found it in a gemach, in former days. i thought that it would be just right for little baby mussie in new dehli. i bought a pink headband and a small pink crown. i'll paste the fuzzy crown onto the soft hairband. i also bought these little ballet slippers that will be way too big for her now. it's the site gag that i'm going for. it was much harder to buy something for mendush. he was a clown last year and i don't like to repeat costumes. finding kosher animal costumes isn't easy. they did have a sheep costume but it was a bit expensive.

i'll treck into town tomorrow and check the other stores. i think i'll let gal pick out her own costume for sahar this year. i'm still peeved. remember? i can't wait to get mussie's outfit together.

i also found some very cheezy ribbon that will make my friends royal dress, look more silly. it was getting a bit too serious for me. i feel like a contestant on project runway. i also found some gold crown hair ribbons. i detached the rubber bands and voila! the dress is becoming a purim statement, already.

i just ran down to the market to buy some milk. i splurged on a bottle of baccardi rum and a bottle of dewers whiskey. it's supposed to be for purim. i might just help myself to a sample tomorrow night. after all, while the cats are away, the mouse will play.

i'm feeling better already. blogging is amazing! better than pyschoanalysis any day. i wonder what would happen if zvi ever read my blog. maybe i should email him this week's blog. i'm overdue for my coffee, so i'll wish you all shabbat shalom!!

Home Alone Again!

2011-02-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

it's 5:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. looks like i'm alone here for shabbat. i just happened to run into my daughter-in-law and grandson in town. i had finished volunteering at the seniors' day center and decided to check out the toy stores for purim costumes.

i completely walked by gal and a couple of her sisters and my grandson. if her brother-in-law hadn't stopped to say hi, i would have missed them. that's how i am in town. it's like i walk with blinders on. anyway, if i hadn't run into gal, i would not have known that the kids were leaving today for shabbat.

i actually, did have some sort of clue this morning. i heard the television and went downstairs to see if anyone was home. i had already seen zvi leave for work and he was totally mum about travelling today. i searched the baby's day room and then turned off the television. i also took the liberty of turning off the night stand lamp in the kid's bedroom. that's when i saw the packed over night suitcase. ding, ding ding!!!

i am honestly, okay with being alone. i am not thrilled that the kids didn't mention their plans, yesterday. if i hadn't seen gal in town, i would have gone slightly mad, when they didn't return tonight. i would have thought the worst. i hope i'm not being petty. i just don't get these kids, one bit.

i kind of want to pick up and go away for shabbat, too. let's face it, i hate to travel. so i will make myself; a little chicken, eat a little roll, drink a little wine, read my newspaper and call it shabbat. i almost feel like going over to the sephardi's for dinner.

maybe i'll venture to town tomorrow. it's been ages since i went into town on a friday. maybe i'll even splurge on a coffee. who knows? the sky's the limit! i'm free!!! maybe not so free. i have my laundry to do. the house is a mess and the floors need washing.

right now i have to make it back to the little supermarket to buy some milk. i already was there a little while ago. i splurged on a bottle of baccardi rum and dewers' whiskey for purim. who knows? perhaps i'll get to sample them on shabbat. when the cats away the mouse will play! shabbat shalom!

Let's Blog Again

2011-02-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

it's 10:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i'm back online again. yesterday our internet server was down. i spent countless number of hours trying to get to a technician who could speak english. i listened to the same recording on their voice mail until i wanted to scream. i was ready to cancel the new provider but i couldn't reach anyone live to speak with.

gal came up at 10:00 p.m. to ask me how to disconnect the router. i had tried that earlier in the day without any success. this time it actually, worked. i was like a junkie all day long without my fix. i wanted to look up purim recipes. i wanted to go online. i felt so disconnected from the world. i missed an invitation to go out for lunch. with my male caller.

my phone was also disconnected since saturday. i had completely forgotten that sahar had ripped out the wire on saturday morning. i simply, figured that no one was interested in speaking with me. in truth, i was too tired to speak to anyone, too.

the baby had his own frustration while he watching his favorite show. for some reason we lost the picture and only had the vocals. he was losing his little baby mind. thank goodness, it came back on right away. what did we all do without cable and internet in the good old days, anyway?

the weather has been cold and rainy and we're all feeling a bit pent up. it was warm for a bit today so i took sahar for a little stroll to the grocery store. it turned cold a short while afterwards. we went out without our coats. it got warm again so we stayed outside in the garden for awhile. the dogs were having a ball and sahar was putting his socked feet in the high grass. i was sitting on the warm ground.

sahar was not into napping today. he finally passed out at 1:30 p.m. and slept until 3:00 p.m. i hit the net. he wasn't interested in eating, either. i made him an omelette, i heated up some macaroni and cheese, i made a fresh chicken in wine, i cut up some cheese, i opened a can of tuna, and i opened a vanilla pudding. he wasn't having any of it. he did drink a few bottles of milk.

i have been back on my low carb diet this week. i've eaten tons of carrots and beets which is forbidden on phase one of the south beach, but i don't care. i'm trying to avoid sweets and binging. i am afraid to weigh myself. i will try to be good until purim. i just don't have any physical activity, except from crawling on the ground after sahar.

i have been looking up all types of traditional purim dishes on the net. i found my poppy seed hamentashen recipe. perhaps, i'll start to bake next week and freeze everything. i'm thinking about making the chocolates, too. i think they'll stay alright in the freezer. i just remembered that i need to make up a giant batch of my traditional rum balls. i need to buy a new bottle of baccardi rum. it is quite expensive this year!

i've been remodeling a dress for our purim shtick. they are having a queen esther beauty pagent/ dance party at the chabad house for women. my best pal and i do the same shtick every year. we dress alike and then do a mock cat fight and ask the whole crowd who looks better in the outfit. we even made a recording of a purim song about vashti to the disco version of copacabana. it's hysterical! we do it every year.

we are going for the english queen look this year. nothing jewish about it. i wanted to wear grey wigs and huge plastic gold crowns. my girl pal wants us to wear our signature blonde page boy halloween wigs uder the crowns. we are wearing these very long poka dot dresses with long black nettings and trains. i bought them a few years ago, in the second hand clothes stores in zefat. the scary thing is that these were real dresses, not costumes. my dress could pass for the queen of hearts' dress. i'm trying hard to make the econd dress look like a knock off copycat version of my dress. hence, the cat fight.

i have my grandson with me again, tomorrow. i'm 'off' on thursday. i need to sign up at the unemployment office and i really need to sort out my water bill. i'll go the the unemployment office before i hit the seniors' in the morning. i'll have to deal with the water office later on. i heard that it will be very cold tomorrow so i don't think i'll drag the kid out to town with me.

i want to buy some kids costumes and send a couple to india for my niece's kids. i also want to buy some silly trimmings to add to the look alike poka dot dress. i may have to buy a pair of long white gloves, too. i'm not even thinking about pesach cleaning. i can't go there yet.

Just Another Sunday Morning

2011-02-13T03:13:00.000-08:00

it is 1:00 p.m. on sunday in the holy city of zefat. i have been in bed watching old love movies all morning long. i didn't have to take care of my grandson today. it was quite fortunate, as, i never fell asleep last night. i did nap for a bit on shabbat but i just couldn't nod out last night.

i have been heavily binging on sugar again. this is the worst that i've been in years. i practically, devoured an entire cheesecake by myself over shabbat. i made a lot of salads and cooked a lot of beets and carrots but i don't think that i had any.

the kids took sahar out for a walk after lunch yesterday and he passed out in the stroller. luckily, he stayed asleep with me for nearly three hours. i nodded off for a bit with sahar in my arms. my friend said that it would have made a lovely photo. why is it always on shabbat that we wish we could have taken the really good shots?

i started looking on line for purim recipes. i want to have a huge bash here. our new religious internet carrier was filtering many of my recipe sites. how frustrating was that!

i'd love to call my son to complain and enlist his help in turning off the filter. unfortunately for me, he is out of town today at a wine show. i am helpless. i don't know if i'll have the patience to make hamentashen this year. by the way, the price of apricots and prunes is sky high. if i do make any hamentashen, it will be out of
poppy seed filling. the oranges and lemons on our trees are finally in abundance now.

the sephardim make 'folares' which are kind of like colored easter eggs in a barekas like dough basket. i can't imagine being that industrious. perhaps, i'll buy the prepared dough and give it a go. it would make for a nice purim gift.

last year, i made chocolate CDs and put them in the plastic slips that i bought at the computer store. i would love to start now but it is way too cold in the house to function. i already bought two packages of the block chocolate to make the purim clown lollypops.

i started reading about traditional purim foods. i have never made kreplach. perhaps, i'll buy a package and fry some up. lentils and chick peas are also in style. i could buy a mix of rice and green lentils. i have already bought chop meat, turkey parts and tons of chicken wings. i found a poppy seed cookie recipe but the comments were very negative against it. apparently, the recipe called for too much flour.

i guess, if i'm going to potchke, i might as well make the poppy hamentashen. i already started on the costumes and purim shtick. i just can't seem to follow through on anything. maybe it's all the sugar. ya think?

i took sahar with me to visit my sister last week. her computer was dying but we managed to make a skpe visit to my niece in india. she was so happy to see sahar. her son mendush wasn't so happy to see sahar sitting on his bubbie's lap. i started trying to get sahar to call me bubbie but it was a no go.

our little monkey climbs up the little play slide at the end of the street now. he also, slides down, head first. he is fearless! he nows rides his little red plastic donkey quite vigorously. he also climbs into his stroller and stands on it.

What A day It Has Been

2011-02-03T22:54:00.000-08:00

it is raining. it is 9:00 a.m. on friday morning in the holy city of zefat. i wanted to blog my day for you yesterday, but i ended up with sahar, my grandson, for a few hours until almost midnite. i answered some emails, watched a little t.v, had some cottage cheese, and finally konked off to dreamland.

i actually remembered a dream yesterday. i should have written down all of the details for my homeopath. it's been ages since i dreamed or at least, remembered one. i tend to dream in color. my last couple of dreams have been about people dying or being taken to the hospital. how cheery!

i went to the seniors' day center yesterday about 10:30 a.m. i had wanted to get there a bit earlier, but i 'futzed' around the house for awhile. i washed up all of the dishes and pots that had been sitting in the sink since the previous shabbat. i then took a very long hot shower. it is freezing in my house and i needed to defrost my feet.

i searched high and low for enough change to take the bus but i couldn't come up with the 4.40 shekel fare. i called a taxi and grabbed the last 200 shekel bill that i had saved to pay a bill. of course, at that time in the morning, no one, including the driver, could make change. so we drove around town until luckily, some kiosk person gave me small bills.

everyone at the center was so very glad to see me. i got there just in time for a rosh chodesh party. i went right into action. i hugged everyone and grabbed a tambourine and started to dance. i met an old acquaintance of my mom's. we hugged and kissed for awhile. it was her first day at the center. she is a most elegant and gracious lady from france. she's had her memoirs from ww11 published. later on, i was left alone with the group for a couple of hours, while the big wigs had a conference. everyone was pretty tired from the party so it was pretty much, an easy gig.

i had made up with my new male 'friend' to meet up for lunch. he definately, aims to please. i could have been wined and dined at any of the various locations of my choice. did i want meat, journey, ambiance, history, snow, or lake kinneret?. so many decisions, so little time!

i hate to travel and i have fear of car rides. i practically, never leave zefat. going to town for me, is an event. i am, just, not used to being around men for any given amount of time. i admit that i do live a semi cloistered life but i am not a nun. having said that, i will continue.

i opted for a restaurant in rosh pina, which has a good kashrut certificate and is only about 15 minutes away from zefat. my kids eat there all the time. i had wanted to check it out for awhile. it is in the middle of a maul. it is not gourmet but it does have a varied menu and a bar. we had our choice of places to sit. did we want a small round table in the middle? or perhaps, we wanted to sit on velvetine couches in the middle? but what about the small square tables against the windows? did we want to sit outside on wicker chairs? after all, they did have huge kerosine heaters.

i let the man choose the seating. after all, i had chosen the restaurant, which was obviously, not up to his standard of bon vivant. actually, he had chosen this restaurant. i had made two suggestions. the other was a dairy restaurant in amarim, a little further away than rosh pina. we finally, sat next to the window and stared at the wicker chairs and outside patio area. the smells of the food were beginning to nauseate me. we both decided to go outside. we got up and made our move to the patio. we then asked the waiter to light the heater. after a few moments, and a whiskey, we asked the waiter to turn off the heater.

i was offered wine. i never drink in the middle of the day. wine also, gives me a headache. i already had a searing pain in my right eye and along the side of my face. i was not a happy camper. neuralgia is a bitch! i ordered coffee. i didn't have my glasses so i couldn't read the menu. i then decided that i wanted a dessert type coffee. after all, when do i get out? i decided on an irsh coffee. my gentleman caller, also decided on one. the young waiter was clueless. he never heard of such a thing. he had already put in the order for a regular coffee.

my friend had to enter the restaurant and speak to the woman at the bar. they were all out of irish cream so he brought back a shot of whiskey. we shared it. half went into my coffee. after that, i didn't feel any pain. we finally decided on the menu. we were going to share a platter of fish and chips and an order of shashuka. it's basically, a spicy tomato sauce with cooked veggies and poached eggs. this one came with eggplant. it tasted like moussaka without the meat.

the shashuka was pretty tastey, but the eggs were rubbery. i thought that i was eating cheese. the fish was also tastey but it didn't resemble battered fried fish at all. it was very much to my liking. we didn't touch the salads. i had a nice whole wheat roll. i've decided to cool it with the strict south beach diet for awhile. my last binge cost me another 10 pounds. i am now allowing myself to eat aything that i want as long as i stay away from chocolate spread and cookies. i haven't had any in 3 days now.

i was offered dessert but i declined. i was quite satiated. we left and went back to his old house to visit his daughter and have some tea. he gave me a tour of his recently built tzimmers. it was so great being back there. i have such happy memories of when we used to hang out there. that is, with my boyfriend and this man's wife. this was my life just before i became a mom and grandmom.

he offered to drive me home. i think i should have just jumped in a cab but it was raining rather hard. he showed me a house in my neighborhood that he had designed. i wanted to say goodnight. he wanted to come in for coffee. my house is cold, and the dogs have been using the foyer as their personal bathroom. i was tired. i had been on this date for 6 hours. i think that is a lot of time for a first date. i had also been out of my house for about 9 hours. i was done.

as we pulled up to my house, i saw gal taking sahar out of the car. we made a turn at the corner and then parked. a little later, i caught the sight of gal leaving. i wanted to get out of the car and ask her where she was going, but i din't want to be a busy body. i also, didn't want to announce to her that i was on a date.

i went inside after a very heavy conversation. my gentleman caller wasn't so pleased that i refused to have him in for coffee. i called down to zvi to ask if the kids were coming for shabbat. i got a tirade! apparently, gal had been locked out of the house for half an hour with sahar. i had left my key on the window sill but she couldn't find it. how exactly, i was to blame for her being locked out of her house is still a mystery to me.

she was mad at me, too. how dare i have a life. i felt like a dog. i was so guilty. first, zvi was knocking on my door and i didn't answer. how dare i sit on my computer and not hear his knocking! how could i allow my daughter-in-law and grandson to sit in a cold car for half an hour? how could i not leave my front door key on the window sill for them?

i took this as a sign from above to cool it. after all, everyone knows that bubbies aren't supposed to be meeting men and drinking whiskey in the middle of the day.

chodesh tov! and shabbat shalom!

i will be eating left over noodles and chicken with the dogs, this shabbat.

Been Awhile

2011-02-01T02:15:00.000-08:00

it's midday here in the holy city of zefat. i haven't been out of the house in over a week. yes, it's been awhile since i got dressed, got into town, saw any adults, and ate properly. i'm a mess! it's also been awhile since i blogged.

my son switched to a new internet provider. it's a religious company. he got tired of seeing scantily clad women pop up when he watched sports. while i commend his efforts, i wasn't able to get into my blog site. he called up the company and explained that my blog was 'kosher' so they removed the filter and now everyone is able to read my blog, again. yeh!

i have been emailing an old friend. he's actually, the widowed husband of an old friend. i think he's courting me. i don't know, exactly, how to take this. i've also heard from my first love again. he sounds pretty clinical, though. he is the dean of a college, after all. i am in a funk! what exactly was i thinking after 44 years?.

i thought about going to the seniors' center a few hours today. i actually, got up and showered. i tried trimming my bushy head of hair because my head coverings were all slipping off. i had thought about getting a real haircut, for a change. haven't had one in scores of years. i didn't even have a proper pair of scissors in the house. i managed to hack off most of my hair with a nail scissors. i figure, that when it grows back, i'll get a nice do. someday!!

it's amazing to me that i actually took some time to trim my toenails, too. i can't believe how i have let myself go. no hair dye, no exercize and no cosmetics. and to boot, i have been binging on tea biscuits and chocolate spread, lately. what is the matter with me???

it is rather cold in zefat. i took my grandson out for a stroll yesterday, while we had a bit of sun. i felt sorry for his being cooped up in the house for a few days. he was loving his ride on his little bicycle. it has along handle that i push him with. i know that he is precocious, but still, he is not able to ride a bicycle at only 17 months. he does seem to be able to do everything else.

i've taken to lock my doors lately because sahar can get out now. i even locked the hall door that leads to the other floors, because sahar figured out how to open the door. his young mom couldn't believe that he could reach the handle until she saw for herself, exactly what he's capable of. are we having fun yet?

on sunday we had two funerals, back to back. both ladies were zefat residents for many years. i had to watch sahar in the morning. it became too much of a hassle for me to bring him over to his other grandmother so i could atend the funerals. it was freezing and pouring for most of the day and i didn't have the cab fare, either.

i have been to the cemetary, way too often, lately. there's got to be something else for me to do. i could go to the wedding of a former work mate tonight. i did go to the cemetary last week for his wife's first yirtseit. i just can not bring myself to be around a bunch of people. i also can't fit into any of my nice clothes, at the moment.

i think that i have forgotten how to act around adults. i spend most of my time playing with a toddler. he is a hand full! but i can't imagine my life without him. what is the matter with me?? i have a live suitor and i can't imagine making a move.

Saturday Night

2011-01-22T08:37:00.000-08:00

shabbat has just ended in the holy city of zefat. it is almost 7:00 p.m. i haven't made havdalah yet. i just woke up from a short nap. i spent the shabbat alone. i was physically and emotionally spent. i had spent two days in a row with a lot of people and i couldn't face being with the entire sephardi clan. i needed some quiet.

i spent the shabbat munching on the left over nuts and fruit. i had a tuna sandwich for supper last night, topped with olives. i had a bowl of pomegranate pips for dessert. i had a salmon sandwich for lunch and the rest of the dried fruits for dessert. i've eaten way too much sugar. the thought of drinking grape juice now is too overwhelming.

i sat outside for about three hours in the afternoon sun, reading psalms. the dogs were barking at everyone and really making a lot of noise. it was so comfy sitting in the warmth of the sun. the house was freezing. i didn't bother turning on the heat. i usually, only heat when i have guests.

yesterday, i wrote to my first love. my computer savvy, good friend, found his email. i don't know how she did it because he wasn't listed on facebook, not that i know anything about facebook. i did the math. i met him 44 years ago. that was hard to swallow. being 60 is a bitch!

i actually got a response from him a moment later. i was so glad to hear that he was alive. it unravelled more of the repressed memories for me. wow! i have been on one heck of a memory roller coaster ride, lately. this one predates my college years, my involvement in the woman's lib and gay pride movements, and my brief stint in the hip, world of fashion.

i was really hyper yesterday. i spent the afternoon on the phone with friends. i couldn't quite come down from all the excitement. i tried to look up another friend who i haven't spoken to in 20 years. i think i understand my brother's reunion fever, now. he is forever meeting up with his college buddies all over the U.S. he's even planning a road trip out west to catch up with some pal of his from his frat days.

a couple of months ago, my son mentioned that he had met some guy at his winery who knew my brother from college. that was a pretty strange tale. after a long conversation, the guy mentioned that he had gone to bklyn college. my son asked him if he knew his mother, zelda gleich. he said he didn't know a zelda but he had known a charles. zvi told the man that charles was his uncle. so he left his email address with my son. i of course, forwarded it to my brother who was wildly ecstatic.

unlike my brother, i wasn't really looking for a reunion or a run down memory lane. i think i was looking for some kind of closure. i didn't find it. i was looking for pieces of the young girl that was just beginning her life's journey. i missed her. i never really got to know her. how heavy!!!

i'm supposed to go to a memorial melave malka in a little while, for the first anniversary of a friend's passing. i can't seem to get myself up and dressed. i am feeling very cold and very still inside. i want to honor her memory but i don't feel like being with a crowd of women. i think that i prefer to visit her grave tomorrow afternoon, instead.

Another Hit

2011-01-19T14:05:00.000-08:00

it is midnite in the holy city of zefat. my tu b'shvat seder/ soiree was a big hit. i spent the entire day, from 9:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m., arranging the fruits and table. i woke up at 9:00 a.m. and got right to work. i never had a coffee. it was like getting ready for the real pesach seder.

i started the morning with making turkey meatballs and cooking barley and wheat. i de- pipped the pomegranate and decided to count the pips. i got up to 27 and gave up. they say that there are 613 pips in every pomegranate. i vow every year that i am going to count all the pips. who knows? maybe next year.

when we were growing up in brooklyn we used to call pomegranates, chinese apples. i think that i actually, believed they came from chinatown. who knows? maybe they did. i also remember, that in hebrew school, they gave us a piece of carob and an apple for tu b'shvat, every year. they called it buxor. we never ate it. it was dry and really hard and you could break your teethe on it. it also tasted horrible. i love it now.

last night i took care of sahar for a bit, because gal got the flu again. sahar came home with very red cheeks. i guessed he was sick again, too. i rocked him back and forth until he fell asleep and put him in his crib. i quickly, got back to my seder preparations. he woke up shortly after, but his mom took care of him. i stayed put in my kitchen and made a sephardi tsimis with prunes, raisins, apricots, walnuts and peaches. they make it with a lot of fried onions and grease. it is tastey! i added a bit of cinnamon and a bit of tumeric but i didn't add any sweetener. the onions were sweet enough.

at 12:30 a.m. i made a flourless cake for tu b'shvat. one of my guests is off gluten. it was a recipe that i found on the net, last year. it is basically: 2 cups of shredded coconut, 6 oz. of carob powder, 2/3 cup of coconut milk, 1 egg and 4 tbs of date honey. it really was a cake. very rich, chocolatey like, sweet and very satisfying. the recipe called for honey and cocoa. i made the switch.

i made these very cute, miniature potted plants, for the party favors. i had been to the seniors' center yesterday and saw something like that, which truly inspired me to make some, too. i improvised and used little plastic shot glasses for the pots. i filled them up with crushed carob and a whole pecan nut, for the dirt. i used half of a dried kiwi for the leaf and a dried cherry for the flower. i used a toothe pick to hold the two fruits together. it looked like a real succulent flower.

i was still inspired so i then made fried lychee 'donuts'. they were more like tiny fritters. i also made an orange, almond, bulgar and quinoa salad. i played around with the table setting and decided to opt for real dishes instead of paper. i made a couple of floral arrangements in large brandy snifters out of the myrtle and mini roses.

suddenly around 12:00 p.m. i felt really sick. i realized that i had gotten the flu. i was dizzy and achey and i just wanted to collapse on the sofa. i was only expecting a few guests and i thought about cancelling. at one point, my arm went numb and i thought that i was having a stroke or heart attack. somehow, i muddled through for another 6 hours on my feet. i even washed the floors and polished all the furniture. i took a whole lot of flu remedy. i started to halucinate just before my guests arrived.

a couple of hours before the seder, i started receiving phone calls from women who wanted to come. one woman brought a friend, another woman skipped a wedding, another woman decided to brave the cold, etc. i ended up with 10 guests. i started to panick that i didn't have enough food. i was in no shape to do another thing. i decided that what i had was enough.

almost everyone had the chestnut soup and some had seconds. it is always a huge hit. the lychee donuts were nice. i also stuffed some lychees with hazelnuts. the fresh fruit salad with kumquats, papaya, kiwis, tangerines and persimmon was lovely. i think that i was the only person who ate it. the spicy, lychee, coconut, tomatoey, turkey meatballs was just enough. some had alot and some didn't want any. i made some poached fish for the gluten free, turkey free guest, who really enjoyed it.

i did all of the washing up before i hit the blog. there was no way that i was going to wake up to that mess, tomorrow morning. the 4 small shots of wine cleared my brain. now i'm just tired. i invited everyone to come back for a purim party in a few months. i have time to plan that out. maybe i'll make a theme. i could tell everyone to come dressed in 50's or 60's clothes. that's an idea!

All By Myself

2011-01-17T02:52:00.000-08:00

it is 1:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i am home alone today. the baby went to his sephardi family. yesterday night, when the kids came home, sahar gave me a great hello. after all, we did spend friday night together.

after the shabbat meal, the young parents went downstairs at 8:00 p.m. to go to sleep. zvi was pretty mellow after downing most of the wine. he even, sang some ashkanazi tunes for me. they left sahar upstairs with me and told me to bring him back down after he fell asleep. little sahar was wired and a bit drunk from the kiddush wine. he played for a couple of hours and then passed out in my arms. i shared my t.v. couch with him and cookie dog. cloey dog wanted to jump aboard but i chased her awhile. she bit my finger and drew blood. then, cookie dog went into my bedroom and pished all over the bed and my freshly laundered house robe.

sahar slept until 5:00 a.m. but was very restless. he tossed and turned about in his sleep alot. he even hit me a few times in the head, at one point. when he did wake up, he gave me the most delicious smile. i desperately, needed to get to the bathroom and put him into the playpen. he, of course, screamed his head off. his dad came up to fetch him. my daughter-in-law felt quite guilty that he had kept me up all night. i din't sleep that night but it was mostly out of fear of rolling over onto him and crushing him.

i figured that i could catch a nap in the afternoon. the kids took sahar out for a stroll and i finished my bentching. the kids came back with a sleeping sahar and left him with me. i had the pleasure of his company until 4:00 p.m. my son wanted me to watch him on saturday night too, but his wife took mercy on me and took him over to her parents' home. i was so darn tired that i didn't and couldn't fall asleep. i think that i finally passed out at around 4:30 a.m.

i was 'given' the day off yesterday and somehow, got myself out of the house, in spite of the rain and cold weather. i made my way over to the biteuch leumi office and got the paper work for the discount for my real estate tax. the office was strangely, empty. i was in and out in about 5 minutes. it was a bit surreal. it was just, too easy.

i got right over to the tax office and then had a good two hour wait there. you can't win it all. i would have had an even longer wait but a friendly lady passed me a lower number that someone has tossed out. i really wanted to go to the unemployment office too, but it was already, closed. i did, thank the Lord, get my tax discount. the next stop on the bureaucracy train, is the water company. that will just have to wait for another week.

in the meantime, i am trying very hard to drum up some customers for my tu B'shvat sedar. no one seems to be interested in coming this year. everyone has some reason for passing it up. one person is travelling, another has a bad back. one person is diabetic, another's husband is coming home from a trip. one person isn't going out if it rains, another person doesn't eat fruit. what a shame that i already bought tons of goodies! however, i refuse to give up on it now. i might just make an intimate dinner party, instead.

i had thought about cleaning up the house today and catching up with my laundry. it's already 2:00 p.m. and i'm still not dressed. the refrigerator repairman is supposed to come over today so i don't dare go out. i was, also, supposed to call the plumber back today but i couldn't be bothered. i passed on the homeopath, too. it is just too cold in the house to wash the floors. my feet are frozen. i need to get some pile lined booties, for sure.

i helped zvi translate some promotional winery literature into english last night. he did most of the work and i was very impressed with his knowledge of wine and english. his young wife was not so delighted. she feels that his boss is taking advantage of him. i actually, looked forward to having a little 'quality' mom and son time together. it was no picnic, folks. the computer shut down a few times and zvi lost some of his work. at first, of course, he accused me of accidentally, hitting the off button with my knee. and of course, he cursed a lot and couldn't deal with his little toddler son coming into the room every couple of minutes. but, all in all, it was a successful joint adventure, thanks to the computer translation program.

i am a bit psyched. my geneolgist sister scanned me pix of what appears to be our paternal great grandparents. you might remember that my parents recently died at the age of 91. we are really talking about way back when. my great grandfather looks like wyatt earp, complete with handle bar moustache. great grandma looks more stern yet, heimishe. what a find! she recently reconnected with our first cousin. her mom was my farher's sister and my favorite aunt. it was in aunt mollie's albums, that she found the pix.

All Talked Out

2011-01-13T07:50:00.000-08:00

it's 6:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just got off the phone with a friend and finished a conversation which i believe, began at around 3:00 p.m. i can't believe it. i lost the entire day.

i got up this morning with a bit of a stomach virus. i spent way too long in the john. i went back to sleep for a while. it is freezing! i eventually got up and made some eggs and coffee. i spent the day in bed. i had high plans of paying the electric bill at the post office up here.

i also wanted to get to the supermarket and buy fish for shabbat and the few items that i still needed for tu b'shvat. so far i got a huge pomegranate, a small coconut, a star fruit, a quince, some dates, figs, carobs, kiwis, avocados, candied estrog, persimmons, dried cherries, prunes, dried apricots, dried peach, dried mango, dried passion friut, macadamia nuts, walnuts, cashews, prepared chestnuts, brazil nuts, hazel nuts. pecans, almonds ad roasted pistashio nuts.

i still need to buy a can of olives, some grapes or raisins, a can of lychees and some red and whine grape juice. i have wine on hand. i bought small amounts of everything because i'm not so sure that i'll have a large crowd, this year. i've been e mailing the old crowd to invite them.

i guess, i'll have to pay the electric bill next week. most post offices and banks are closed on fridays. i still need to go to unemployment next week and go to biteuch leumi to get the forms to get a city real estate tax deduction. i still need to pay the last two bills. that wil eat up an entire day. the problem being, coordinating getting into 3 different offices by 1:00 p.m. are we having fun yet?

the house is a mess, and i have tons of laundry to do. i have my tu b'shvat papers all over the table and produce that still needs to be put away. my stomach is still sore and loose so i will simply, have to take it easy this evening. i lost about 6 pounds already on the south beach. i have been eating really good food lately. the dogs have been making on my clothes and bed lately in the master bedroom. i think they are trying to let me know that they do not like my being downstairs so much.

yesterday, i went to volunteer at the seniors' center. i wasn't feeling all that animated. at least it was warm there. i then spent about 3 hours shopping for the tu b'shvat seder. i was able to arrange for a fruit delivery so i was free to visit a friend for awhile, downtown. it was a luxury not schlepping bags with me.

she had a small gang who were having a pizza evening. i was already feeling a bit woozey and the last thing i wanted was to smell pizza. i was, for sure, not going to eat any because of my diet. i stopped off at the local grocery and bought some canned tuna, low fat cheese and a few avocados. i offered to share my 'loot' with everyone until the pizza arived.

at around 5:00 p.m. i was feeling the strong need to get home. i got up to leave but it took me awhile to make my getaway. i waited for a really long time for the bus to come. i didn't feel like springing for another cab. i had a nice conversation with an old acquaintance while we waited for the bus.

when i got home the fruit delivery was waiting in front of the door. i also saw sahar's jacket on the ground. i figured that gal had come home early from work. i didn't see any signs that someone had entered so i went downstairs. it was dark and empty. i started folding some of the kids' laundry and put away the baby's sweat suits. i then folded the laundry racks and put them away in a corner. i heard cloey the dog barking but i coldn't find her. i think she had been locked out of my apartment and had been downstairs for awhile.

shortly afterwards, i got a call from gal leting me know that she had been locked out of the house. she couldn't enter through my window because sahar was asleep in her arms. she was on the next block at her sister's place. she said something about my watching sahar while she went back out. i frantically searched the downstairs for any tell tale sign that my dog had been downstairs. sure enough, she had deficated on the small rug in sahar's day room.

i was glad to see that sahar was feeling better. i was also, not so tired because i had had the morning off for myself. i tried making food for him but he only wanted to eat junk. i tried giving him bottles, but he also refused them. the kids got back from the supermarket at 10:00 p.m. sahar was wired!.

i was happy to get back upstairs and hit the net. i was looking up different groups of fruits. i only use fruits that we bless for growing on fruit trees. that leaves out bananas, strawberries, cantalope, melons, papaya, watermelon, etc. i was toying with the idea of buying chocolate beans, but the price was astronomical.

i might just give in next week and buy a package of the chocolate beans. i could always use the chestnuts to make a soup and serve it at the end of the seder this year. anything is possible. i got my new water bill and it was for over $200. i can honestly, say that i do not have the strength to deal with this now.

right now i am wondering how i will be able to make shabbat for the kids tomorrow. please 'Lord', grant me the strength to be on my feet all day tomorrow. amen!!!!

The More Mundane

2011-01-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

it is 11:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat and i just got off babysitting detail. i got up this morning at about 7:00 a.m. to let the dogs out. i felt like i had been hit in the head with a sledge hammer. i briefly went downstairs to see if sahar was well enough to go to his other grandma's. i found gal and sahar in bed together. gal had a relapse and was staying home from work. so much for going out at night!

i got right back under the covers with the dogs and decided that i was also sick. i blew off any further thoughts about going to yoga or anywhere else in the world. i slept until about 10:00 a.m. but i still felt tired. it was cold in the house! i put on the small electric heater for a bit. i planned to sleep in all day long.

gal came upstairs to see if i was home. she wondered why i hadn't answered my phone. i totally forgot that sahar, as usual, had unplugged my phone on shabbat. she asked me if i could watch sahar while she went out. he had a fever so it was really dangerous for him to go out. i assumed that she was going to the doctor.

i quickly grabbed a cup of coffee and a hand full of nuts. my stomach is still huge but i do feel better from eating real food again. sahar has been hyper active since he got sick. he keeps climbing onto the t.v. table and switching the t.v. on and off. i keep threatening to give him a potch. i actually gave him a few smacks on the bottom yesterday after he pulled out the t.v wires.

the poor kid can hardly breath with his runny nose. he is in a great mood in spite of it. thank goodness, he isn't lying around like a limp noodle. i keep trying to get him to sleep and he keeps jumping off the bed to climb onto the t.v. stand. i usually, give up trying and just let him do his thing and drink more coffee.

gal got back at around 2:30 p.m. and i made myself some lunch. i grabbed a plain yogurt and sprinkled some cinnamon on it and made another cofee. i splurged and added some cinnamon and a spoon of unsweetened cocoa. i grabbed a few walnuts and hit the covers. it was really cold inside. i later, finished the eggplant and guacomole salads and used red and green peppers instead of bread.

at around 5:00 p.m. i was in the mood for eggs but i wasn't in the mood to brave the cold. i called up a friend who's neighbor sells fresh eggs and ordered a flat. she was on her way here when i reached for my bag and realized that i didn't have the 22 shekels. zvi must have borrowed my change. i only had a 200 shekel note. i ran around the house emptying all of the pushkas. i only managed to come up with 11 shekel coins and about 110 ten agarot coins. i was really horrified when the lady got to my door. i apologized profusely and offered her the bags of coins. she politely, declined. i then called up my friend to ask her to lay out the money for me. what a balagon!

sahar was brought upstairs at 5:30 p.m. because gal and zvi had to go to carmiel to pick up their repaired baby stroller. i put him in the playpen while i made him an omelette. he ate a few bites with gusto so i put the bowl into his playpen so he could feed himself. i got busy making a pot of chicken soup for the kids. i then made myself, some fried eggs in the spicy tomato relish, left over from shabbat. sahar smushed the omelette all over himself and the playpen. cloey the dog kept frantically, trying to paw the eggs onto the floor. what a mess!

i then strategically, placed the couches together to keep sahar enclosed in the t.v area and i ate my eggs and had a hot cup of coffee. i usually drink my coffee luke warm or even cold. he played for awhile and climbed onto my t.v. table until he nearly passed out. i took him downstairs and tried to put him too sleep. he was nearly out but he revived himself and started playing again on the floor. he had a few spoonfuls of soup and a cinnamon cookie. he refused his bottle. i had about two bowls of luke warm chicken soup and gave the dogs the skin and the bones.

i finally got sahar to sleep at about 9:00 p.m. he was in a deep sleep for almost 15 minutes, when he woke up. he got up just as his parents came home. gal nursed him while zvi put together the new activity table, that they bought in carmiel, for him. i was toying with the idea of buying one, too. he was really groggy at first but soon got into the swing of things and was having a ball with his new toy. i stayed around to heat up the soup for the kids. sahar wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to his safta zelda.

i have to get up at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow morning and do it all over again. they shoot horses don't they? i will have to endure the noise of the new musical table all day long. i remember having a life, once upon a time.

i recently signed on to be in a play again. i was so excited about acting again that i even agreed that it could be co-ed. we had a reading and we seemed to be in motion. i came alive again for the first time in years. the next day everyone else pooped out. so for awhile it's just diapers and me.

The Mundane

2011-01-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

it is 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. shabbat ended a little while ago. i am pleased to report that i did all of the washing up. my dishes, cutlery, pots and pans and glasses are all clean. yeh! i didn't want to end up like last week with two sinks full.

it was a pretty miserable day. it rained and was just plain nasty for most of shabbat. i had the heat on for most of the time. the kids are all sick. i had the 'pleasure' of watching my grandson and son for most of the week. my grandson was easy compared to his cranky 24 year old dad.

i ran errands for him and kept him supplied with vitamin c, fresh squeezed orange juice, chicken soup, homeopathic flu remedy, and natural cough syrup. thank the Lord, that he went back to work on thursday. the doctor made a big mistake by prescribing him antibiotics. his illness was viral and both his wife and son caught it. the antibiotics weakened him and gave him diahrea, to boot.

i finally was freed on thursday and my grandson went to his other grandma. i watched him until 9:30 a.m. and then made a mad dash to the seniors' day center. they were so happy and grateful to see me. i had second thoughts about going but i was so glad that i did. their regular caregiver was out of town and i think they appreciated a familiar face.

a young woman volunteer brought in three guinea pigs to show the old folks. they were so cute. they were a lot larger than the pair we had years ago, when zvi was just a lad. i learned on thursday that it was not good to bathe them. go know!

afterwards, i met up with a friend and we went together to make a shiva call. i hadn't been able to attend the funeral because i was taking care of sahar. i stayed a bit longer than i had intended and finally made my way to the supermarket at 5:00 p.m. i hadn't eaten all day long and i was feeling a bit woozy. i wanted to buy some things for shabbat that i can't get up here.

i caught a taxi home because i was really spent. i tried calling my sister in zefat because she was due back from india. no one was home. i called my niece in new york because it was her birthday and i think i may have bummed her out a bit. the poor thing turned 30 and is still not married. in her circles it's considered tragic. i'm sure she'll meet the right one eventually. i'm more sure, that she will aprreciate marriage more because she waited so long.

i had to watch sahar all morning long on friday. i put him in his playpen and kept him near me while i prepared the shabbat meals. he seemed to get a kick out of my peeling the tomatoes. his mom went to a bris and didn't get back until nearly 1:30 p.m. it took me a while to get everything done because i only have two working gas burners.

i managed to have two long conversations with two different friends while i watched him. he was pretty mellow for a sick baby. the doctor said he has the flu. i made a lovely meal inspite of finishing up moments after candlelighting. i really hussled at the end. the food was pretty tasty this week. i went back to my south beach diet on thursday. i finally weighed myself and i gained over ten pounds. it is back to lots of protein and veggies again.

i made tuna steaks in a piquant tomato sauce with peppers and potatoes. i made potted chicken and meatballs in a sephardi tomato sauce with string beans. i cooked plain white rice for gal. i made a green leafy salad with lemony dressing. i also made the cooked sephardi tomato relish. this time i didn't make it too hot. i made a small amount of baba ganush, a mayonnaise and eggplant dish. i made the usual cooked cubed beets in lemon and a guacomole with avocado and hard cooked eggs. i made a cole slaw and ate the entire thing by myself. thank goodness, that mayonnaise is allowed on south beach.

the kids came upstairs at 7:00 a.m. this morning. they usually come up around 8:00 a.m. zvi decided to catch an early minyan. gal was really under the weather so i watched sahar until 9:00 a.m. that's about when zvi came home and did kiddush. i served them both, boiled white and sweet potatoes with boiled eggs. we also, had all of the salads, left. i had a piece of fish, a boiled egg and some salad. i had a hand full of nuts for dessert.

the kids went downstairs at 10:00 a.m. to sleep. they left sahar with me until 2:00 p.m. he only slept for about an hour. he was a bit crabby and hardly ate anything. he did play very nicely for hours. i gave him two copper bells and he kept himself busy with them for the entire day. they were my mom's. sometimes, she would ring them to announce dinner. it was her way of being 'over the top'.

i was really looking forward to lying back and watching some t.v. this evening. zvi just came in to inform me that the sick duo are well enough to go to rosh pina and are leaving sahar with me. do i cry? or do i insist that they shlepp him over to the other grandma for a few hours? oh decisions, decisions!!!!

i finally caught up with my sister in zefat but i was too pressured on friday afternoon to speak for long. i would have liked to walk over there today with sahar but he was too cranky and sick to go out. my older sister in california, recently mentioned that my blog has been pretty mundane lately. i was beginning to feel a bit down when another reader told me that she really got off on my sense of humor. she actually told me that it made her day.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T08:35:00.000-08:00

it's nearly 7:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. shabbat ended a little while ago. i made havdalah by myself on wine and i am a bit 'lit'. zvi just called to ask if there is any hot water. that simply means, that i have to turn on the hot water heater for them so that they can shower when they come home.

zvi was under the weather when he came home from work yesterday. i made him a pitcher of fresh squeezed orange juice, gave him a flu remedy and gave him a bottle of vitamin c. he is still not feeling well. this means that i'll probably be sick all week long, too. i am just, so darn susceptible to the kids germs.

it isn't all that jewish to make new years' resolutions, but i have decided, anyway, to try and get back into shape. i hope to be able to get to the yoga class tomorrow morning. my back is aching. i feel like an 80 year old lady. being in the house all day long doesn't promote good health. i haven't made a yoga class in more than a month.

the lady from the other community center keeps calling me to pay up my membership dues. i haven't gone there since the summer. why doesn't she get it. i am no longer a member because i haven't set foot in the joint since august. there is no way that i am going to pay her a dime or a shekel, in this case. it is not the same as signing a years' membership contract at jenny craig's.

last night i fell asleep shortly after lighting the shabbat candles. i got up a couple of hours later and made kiddush and had my modest meal. i had two bowls of tomato soup, which was loaded with beans and chick peas and i had a pita with humus. i also, had some left over pumpkin and quinoa. i had a slice of the orange poppy seed cake for dessert and a hand full of pecans. i also had a lovely cup of honeybush caffeine free tea.

my paying guest presented me with two boxes of herbal teas. i hardly ever drink herbal tea but these are really nice. the guest is a really neat lady. we have similar life experiences but she is a real dare devil. she is a very active and independent lady. she is also very unassuming and totally undemanding. it's like she isn't even here. i am very lucky to have met her. i am definately, going to miss her.

after dinner, i read the hamodia newspaper for awhile and fell asleep again. i woke up at midnite with horrific pain in my eye. i hated to get out of my warm bed but i got up and made a warm compress. thankfully, i fell back asleep until morning. i woke up at 7:00 a.m. to let the dogs out. it was rainy. they weren't that interested in going out. i said the morning blessings and had a slice of cake. i then had about 4 or 5 cups of coffee but who's counting anyway?

i was engrossed in an article about a particular torah giant from the past when i heard a commotion at my door. it was my dear pal and her two dogs visiting. i had planned to daven and spend the morning catching up with my psalms but what could i do? i made some more coffee and gave the dogs some water. all the dogs went outside for awhile.

we hung out talking for a couple of hours and i got dressed and walked her partially, home. i got back at 1:00 p.m. and started to pray. i finished at 2:00 p.m. and then made kiddush. i had a pita with humus and olives and then opened a can of tuna. i gave most of it to the dogs. i wasn't really in the mood for water tuna. i had some more cake and coffee and then settled down to read tehillim.

i finished most of the book of tehillim and said mincha and had another coffee. i read the newspaper until shabbat was over. my eye is very irritated and i do not have any drops. this weather is definately, not good for my eye. unfortunately, neither is the heat, as it turns out. i am completely bloaded right now. i usually succumb to a food binge around this time on motsei shabbat. i think my thyroid is on the slow side. i am afraid to check my cholesterol, too.

my head is now on planning my tu b'shvat sedar, which will be in another couple of weeks. you may recall the elaborate dinner that i made last year for this holiday, when it fell out on shabbat. this year it will be back to the sedar of eating 20 different types of fruits and 10 types of nuts and drinking 4 glasses of wine. i'm thinking about not serving cake this year to begin the sedar.

i'm going with dishes of sweet and fruity cooked wheat and barley, instead. i'm toying with the idea of recreating the 'infamous' chestnut soup. only a few guests were here last year to sample it. i'm now thinking about making a flourless fruit cake for dessert. i can't wait to check out the web for recipes!

I'm Right Here

2010-12-30T13:25:00.000-08:00

it's 11:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. it looks like i'll be here all by myself for shabbat. it got cold today. it is supposed to rain throughout shabbat. we really need it.

i have an old friend from brooklyn staying overnight with her teenage daughter. her mom was really good friends with my mom. my sister knew her since 5th grade. my sister helped her to become an observant jew, many years ago.

she hasn't been in zefat in ages. my sister is still in india so they couldn't meet. i guess i was the surrogate. i really like this particular woman and her great husband. they used to come to our house to perform the pesach sedar. her parents weren't observant and his parents weren't jewish. i have such fond memories.

i was afraid that i might get over emotional. i have been very sad lately. i'm also, very tired. i have been with sahar alot and doing 13-14 hours shifts of babysitting. i haven't gotten out, and i haven't been to excercise in months. i'm overweight and feeling bogged down.

on wednesday, i spent the entire day babysitting and i always feel like i've been hit by a mack truck, the next day. i got up at 9.00 a.m and finally finished the glasses and pots and pans left over from last shabbat. i can't do anything upstairs when i'm watching sahar. i can do the kids' laundry when we're downstairs and he's asleep. otherwise, i am held captive by that little monkey.

i got up at 8:00 a.m. the next morning, prepared to do a cleaning number on my apartment. afterall, my guests had never been to my home. i only managed to wash the dishes, bake a cake and make up one bedroom before i got a call that they were almost in zefat. i still hadn't done the bathroom and the second bedroom and didn't have the time or strength to wash the floors.

the weather was cold and nasty and i ran out in the windy air to get to the little supermarket. i bought extra milk, cottage cheese, and a soft cheese. i somehow, figured that she was a whole wheat, health food type of eater, so i bought a can of tomato paste, and a can of beans to make up a soup. only bought a couple of carrots and squash to add to the soup because i had some frozen veggies on hand. i settled for a bag of white pitas because there weren't any whole wheat ones. i had my whole wheat orange and poppy seed cake to serve.

i kind of thought that we'd have soup and sandwhiches for lunch and maybe omelettes and salad for supper. i came back from the supermarket and quickly put up a vat of soup. i used dehyraded onions and garlic to save a bit of time. it boiled over onto the entire gas range. what a balagon! i had no more desire to go back into that chilly and windy air but i did.

it was considerably, warmer down in town. the sun actually, came out for awhile. we walked through the streets of the old city and artist colony for about 3 hours. they bought some souvenirs and gifts to take back with them. we went over to the zefat candle factory and bought some really nice hand made candles. we stopped off at a little yemenite stand and had homemade yemenite pita wraps. i had a lovely coffee and chilled out for a bit.

we began to discuss the dinner menu and i was informed that my friend was both, gluten and sugar free. so much for my orange cake. she also didn't eat tomatoes. that left me with a vat of tomato soup. and forget about the omelettes, because she had already eaten eggs at the hotel. we decided to go food shopping on the way home.

afterwards, we hiked down to the ancient cemetery to visit the grave of a great tsadik. we them climbed further down to the modern cemetery to visit my parents' graves. my friend took pictures to show her mom. as i mentioned before, they were life long friends.

at 5:00 p.m. we taxied back up to the little super and i bought a fresh chicken, a bag of rice cakes, a couple of carrots and sweet potatoes and a small piece of pumpkin. we climbed up the few flights of stairs back to my house and i went into action.

i turned on the heating system and made some tea. i served the teenage daughter the cake and fresh squeezed orange juice that i had prepared earlier in the day. i then heated up the soup and put out pitas and humus. i think she was starving. i then put the veggies in a pot with some spices and stewed them, while i put up the chicken to broil. the dinner was more or less ready to eat by 6:30 p.m. some of the chicken, however, was a bit on the pinkish side, so i put it back in the broiler.

i forgot to make the quinoa, so i quickly threw some in a pot with some onion flakes and cooked it while the chicken was broiling. i have a little of the food left over because they ate tiny amounts. that will be my shabbat meal. i am too tired to do the floors or prepare anything else. i'll just have the left overs and soup for dinner and a pita and tuna fish for lunch. i might just treat myself to a bit of heat, too.

after dinner, i invited them to hang in the t.v. corner and blog room. the teenager watched a couple of movies and hung out under the covers with cookie the dog. she missed her own dog from philadelphia. her mom caught up with her e-mails and i did the dishes. i then called india to let my sister and her friend catch up. the ladies went to sleep at midnite and i stayed up a little while longer to watch some t.v.

i jumped out of bed this morning at 7:00 a.m. and took a boiling hot shower. i had to keep lowering the shower so i wouldn't burn. i then put up some oatmeal fot the guests and got little sahar. i put him in the stroller and walked them to the bus stop. he of course, wanted out of the stroller. i had to carry him home. my back is hurting. i am really looking forward to being alone.

i wish that i could have organized a little shabbaton for a few women to bring in the new year together, but it didn't happen. i'll celebrate with my bed and pillow.
i'll wish you all a happy new year and a good shabbat!

Resting A Bit

2010-12-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

it's 11:15 p.m. on thursday night in the holy city of zefat. my guest arrived a little while ago and i found myself reminiscing about my parents' deaths. the guest lost her 101 year old father two years ago. he was a survivor.

it was a lovely and sunny day. it was warm until about 5:00 p.m. the electrician came over pretty early and then the gardner arrived. i like 'hanging' with the gardner. he is a very savvy guy. we have a 5 minute rap session while he takes a cigarette break.

the electrician wasn't savvy. he couldn't fix one of my outlets and actually, asked me if i needed it. he tried to figure out where it was connected to. i was getting nervous when he played with the wiring near the computer so i told him that i didn't need the outlet. he fixed an extension cord, changed a few light bulbs to energy saving fluorescent ones, changed a fixture or two and charged me over $110. he was here for almost an hour but he was really slow. and part of the time he was taking other calls.

i was relieved that the apartment upstairs was well lit but it was not worth that type of money. when people come to this huge place they see $$$$. i couldn't wait for the guy to leave. he was creeping me out. the refrigerator repairman worked a lot harder for his 400 shekels but unfortunately, the fridge is still leaking and freezing up again.

zvi was mad at me for paying the electrician so much. now adays, a repairman won't set foot in your house for less than 180 israeli dollars. times are rough, i know. the gardner does me favors all the time. he would never think of asking me for extra pay. i try to repay his kindness by giving him cash when i have it. i paid him in advance today. i was afraid that i wouldn't have the money later on this month. between the gardner and the electrician, i was riped out this month.

the money from the guest visitor goes right to the lawyer for the probate. zvi's car riped him out this month. it is really hard to survive here. i really worked hard to make the guest apartment nice. i bought an inexpensive rug in the supermarket. zvi got mad that i wasted money on a guest. i explained that a rug is an investment. i can always use it downstairs. anyway, perhaps this can lead to other guests.

i woke up feeling like i had been run over by a truck. i guess i over did it yesterday. anyway, i couldn't get myself over to the senior's. gal drove zvi to work and left the baby with me. he was really interested in watching the electrician work. i think he has potential. anyway, i sat in the sun until gal got back. she took the baby to a family event in hadera. i ran to the drug store to buy her antibiotics before she travelled. i asked her to meet me at the super on her way out of town.

i bought sahar a little book and a large 'winnie the poo' bib. i met her mom outside the pharmacy and we dished on the kids for a good half an hour until gal arrived. i then leisurely, did my food shopping for shabbat. it was a pleasure. the store was empty. there weren't any carts but i stalked a guy until he gave me his. i took a taxi home and ran upstairs to lay down the rug. it looked great. i took the baking pan form the new toaster oven to the local mikveh. i then headed to the small super because i forgot to buy eggs.

i checked out the local gift shop for cheap place mats for the upstairs, but they didn't have any. i got back home and thought it would be nice to take a nap or just lie down for a while. instead, i decided to start cooking for shabbat. i also wanted to make a soup for the guest. my hands were stinging, and swollen and red. my fingers had small abrasions on them. i could barely close them. that's what you get for not using gloves when you do a pesach clean up.

i treated myself to a whole wheat roll and can of tuna. i hadn't had any solid food in days. i have been living on almonds and tahina and drinking lots of coffee. surprisingly, i lost some weight but my stomach is still huge. the roll was very delicious. i shared some of the tuna with the dogs. water tuna, just doesn't do it for me anymore.

i made tuna fillets and potatoes in a hot red sauce for tomorrow night. i also cooked the piquant morracan tomato relish that gal loves. it takes a couple of hours to do. i made it with fresh tomatoes. the prices have come down somewhat. i also made a cheesecake. i accidentally used potato flour instead of cornstarch, so it might be a tad, weird. i made a potato salad with mayonnaise for gal. i already took out the chicken to defrost. i ran out of eggs so it doesn't look like kugel this week.

i made a veggie, mushroom and barley soup which was really yummy and hearty. i had three bowls. i also made a batch of corn muffins and i actually, ate one. it was yummy! i had some rice dream left over from thanksgiving which was still good, so i made a double batch of batter and filled up the large muffin tin. this way i could use my pareve oven and muffin tin.

i invited the guest to join us for shabbat but i don't know if she will. i think she has food issues. she declined a hot drink and didn't seem interested in muffins or soup. i left some upstairs for her, anyway. maybe she'll be hungry in the morning. usually people want something to eat after a long flight and trip. go know!

i think i'll pot some chicken and potatoes for a change. i don't feel like broiling this week. gal does love her potatoes but manages to weigh in at a slight, 120 pounds. i'll probably make a pareve cholent with potatoes, barley, chickpeas and wheat for lunch. after all, i did make a cheesecake to serve 12.

i defrosted the coconut cake from the housewarming party, so i won't be baking tomorrow. i'll mosey on down to the super to buy challah and that's it. i have jello for dessert and taco chips and bambas for nash. i'll make a green salad for zvi and maybe i'll do a mexican corn salad for gal. she liked it when i put a piece of a chile in it. i just remembered buying fresh corn today but i can't find it anywhere. it may not have made it into the shopping cart.

the cheesecake and fish are already in the fridge. by now the tomato relish should be cooled down, so after i put it away, i can lay back and watch a little t.v. i don't think that gal got back yet. it's almost 1:00 a.m. well anyway, nightie night!!! and good shabbos!

Job Well Done

2010-12-15T12:32:00.000-08:00

i am sitting here in the holy city of zefat in my soaking wet socks and crocks. i did a sponger a little while ago in the upstairs guest studio apartment. my shirt sleeves and skirt hem are also wet. it is 10:30 p.m. on a wednesday night.

i got up at 7:00 a.m. and went downstairs to fold the rest of the laundry that i did for gal's family. i hung out with sahar while his parents got ready ready to go out. zvi went to work and gal had a sick day. i watched sahar for a little while so gal could take the car in for service. apparently, the other day they didn't pass their annual car inspection.

the problem was faulty breaks. they already spent a small fortune recently, on replacing the breaks. they made the 'pilgrimage' a few times to hadera to have a family relative fix the car. this time the kids decided to go the local yocal in zefat. he just happens to be our next door neighbor, who has always liked zvi. he supposedly, gave him a break in the price.

i was toying with the idea of going to the old age center today but i decided to stay home and get the upstairs apartment ready for tomorrow's paying guest. i don't remember exactly when i went upstairs. i had to stop for a while when gal came back from the auto repair shop. she forgot to bring the paperwork and had to go back. i helped her load the car with the bags of clean laundry.

i was working like a snail today. it wasn't just your manic pesach cleaning job. i was interior decorating and accessorizing. i was also potting plants to put on the outside porch. the place looks cute but empty. it is freezing up there. i really cleaned it well. i made the best of the few extra pieces of furniture that i had.

i had a visitor ealier in the afternoon, too. i had just gotten back to work and was covered in mud, when a former neighbor appeared in the backyard. i offered her a cup of coffee but she declined. i took a break and sat in the sun for a little while with her. i then made my way upstairs, several times, and brought up all the plants. i was in the middle of washing the wooden floors upstairs, when i got a lovely call from my sister in india. in spite of all our run ins, i really miss her.

zvi got back at 8:30 p.m. and i had just finished washing my floors. they were so moody from the three day rain storm. i also did my dishes. they have been sitting in the sink since friday. i just turned on the boiler and i'm waiting for hot water so i can wash up and warm up. i still need to do a few things upstairs but it can wait for tomorrow.

i called an electrician to come tomorrow to fix a few broken outlets upstairs. i also have one in my computer room and zvi has one in his computer room. i want to buy a small rug for the upstairs apartment. it is so cold and bare. a shaggy rug will do the trick, i think.

my darling sahar was especially clingy and very affectionate today. he cuddled for a while and i didn't get one potch from him. i fed the little chubby one, macaroni and cottage cheese and a bowl of dry cheerios for dessert. he loves those cheerios to bits. i nearly went mental when i saw gal's sibblings giving him trix the other night. there is about 4 or 5 different food dyes in that cereal, not to mention all the sugar.

i don't know if i'll make it over to the seniors' center tomorrow. it really depends on how early the electrician gets here. gal wanted me to babysit this evening when she went to her course. at 5:00 p.m. i started to panick that i wouldn't be able to finish the apartment. i apologized profusely, and sahar went to safta miriam's. she must be going crazy not being able to do sponger.

When It Rains It Pours

2010-12-14T10:02:00.000-08:00

i have been sitting in front of my computer for about an hour and my hands are just about frozen. it's 8:00 p.m. on a monday night in the holy city of zefat. we have been blessed with four days of torrential rainfall. it finally let up today and we saw the sun. it has been freezing and storming and thundering and lightening for days. the streets were nearly flooded. who could possibly complain.

it really felt as if the world was finally coming to an end. it started raining on friday evening but it stopped a little while later. the kids went to gal's family for shabbat and i stayed home alone. i made a pot of turkey soup and defrosted some deli from the housewarming event. i didn't want to chance walking back in a storm.

the deluge started on saturday morning. it was quite erie to be alone. the dogs had no desire to brave it out. the house already got cold and i stayed under the blankets all shabbat with the dogs. i drank a vat of mint tea and read the newspaper all day long. i checked on the downstairs and saw that the water was already coming in through the windows in three bedrooms and the kitchen. my living room couch was also wet. that's zefat winters, folks.

sahar stayed in with me for the past three days. i tried my best to keep him warm and amused. poor kid had to wear tons of clothing. he looked like a chubby snowman. i bought solar on friday to heat the house. i was outside with sahar when i saw my neighbor getting a delivery. he told me that it was a good price so i ordered half a tank. i went inside to find my checkbook because unfortunately, they didn't take credit cards. i had the baby with me and it was a bit of a balagon. the guys kept screaming for me to come out.

the young delivery men were in a big rush and ended up flooding the outside with the solar( kerosine). i finally found the checks and had to run out into the street with sahar in one arm and the checks in the other. his mom got back shortly afterwards, and i did my best to hose down the area. after four days of monsoon rain it still reeks of kerosine, and it is somehow seeping into the house through the walls. i am at my wits end!

yesterday, some idiots delivering solar to the ethiopian absorption center, accidentally loaded the solar into the water hose. an entire community is without water for about a week. i got an s.o.s call from a friend warning me not to shower or drink the sink water. luckily, my neighborhood's water supply, wasn't poisoned.

gal's family wasn't so lucky. her mom came over last night with three of the kids to take showers. her water had been shut off since 3:00 p.m. she filled up some bottles with water, and i gave her a couple of bottles of mineral water. she sent over about 4 batches of laundry this morning. while sahar napped in the stroller outside in the sun, i did their laundry and then some of mine. i also took cuttings of lavender, rosemary, tea geranium and geraniums and planted them all around the front yard. the ground was so saturated, that i figured it was a good time to do it.

it was really nice outside so i hung a bunch of laundry outside on the lines. i took it all down at about 5:00 p.m. and it was all still damp. i threw a bunch of it into the dryer and it was more or less dried, in a very short time. at one point, the dryer suddenly stopped and i assumed it had died. i was about to sit shiva over it, when i realized that it couldn't have died without some sort of death rattle. for sure, the circuit had blown so i simply, and gratefully, reloaded the box.

gal had to go to the emergency room this morning . she was suffering with pain for two days. it turned out to be an infection in her womb. i was nervous the entire day that she might be hospitalized over night. i worried about who would be in charge of the baby. i know it's really, dumb. i was so relieved, thank goodness, when she came home. the poor girl was put on two different and very strong, anti- biotics. who understands that??

my little grandson is an absolute brat and house wrecker. he is into everything. he goes into all the closets and takes things out of all the drawers. he pulls things out of the garbage and puts things into the garbage. matches, bills, drinking glasses, clothing, shoes, pajamas. nothing is off limits to this little menace. i couldn't find his shoe the other day. i checked the oven and the fridge. i emptied the entire garbage can. i checked all the drawers of his dresser. i checked all the rooms and all of the closets. i was really freaking out.

just before my daughter- in- law returned from work, i found the blessed shoe in his toy box. his other grandma said that it should have been the first place to look. after all, she did have him the entire week of chanukah, and in my opinion, created a monster. don't get me wrong. i love him to pieces and the feeling is mutual. when he isn't clobbering me he's slobbering me. what can you do with an over active 15 month old boy?. i keep saying that his father wasn't like this. i don't think anyone believes me.

i have a 'paying' house guest coming on thursday. too bad it's so darn cold upstairs. she's lucky to have a heating system. i'll freeze downstairs, while she uses my electricity all day long. i can't seem to catch a break. what a pity she didn't come two weeks ago during the heat wave. zvi finally got a friend in this evening to re-affix my door. after a month, it finally closes. Yeh!! he'll have to carry up the small fridge and a bed tomorrow. i'll have to clean the place up, too.

i planted an assortment of cactus to place on the upstairs porch. i'll have to haul it upstairs tomorow. hopefully, it will be a warm and sunny day. i can no longer feel my extremities, so i'll call it a night.

Last Night of Chanukah

2010-12-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

it's 10:00 p.m. on wednesday night in the holy city of zefat. it's the last night of chanukah. i am still waiting for my daughter- in- law to get back with sahar so we can light the chanukiah.

my son has had a stomach bug all week. it hasn't been the ideal chanukah for him this year. he actually, requested that i make some potato latkes for him the other night. unfortunately, he couldn't really eat them. he admitted that it hadn't felt like chanukah since my mother passed away, two years ago on the third day of the holiday. i tried my best to keep up the chanukah spirit, none the less.

i ate a couple of greasy, jelly donuts, a couple of hours ago and have been suffering ever since. i really lost control of my diet this holiday. once again, i find myself with a huge, bulging stomach. all the sugar and carbs made me really sluggish, too. i haven't been to yoga or exercise in months. i can't seem to get myself back on track.

i went to the outdoor market today and bought a bunch of pajamas and sleepers for sahar. i also bought a couple of sweaters in town for zvi. it is his birthday next week. i don't know if gal is planning a surprise party here. i will just go with the flow. i haven't had sahar here all week. i stopped by the in- laws yesterday and he ran into my arms. i guess, he still knows me. he's going there again tomorrow. all the kids are home on vacation and they want him there. i guess it doesn't matter what i want.

we had two cold and semi wet days but it is hot and dry once again. i have had a stinging pain in my right eye for days. i forgot to buy eye drops, while i was in town today. i stopped by a friends' place on my way back from the shuk. it started to get cold so i caught the bus home. zvi came home and was a bit melancoly.

when he is up here he is still my young son who is never satisfied. he is missing things and complaining all the time. when he is downstairs, he is the happy young married father and husband. his moodiness is a strain on me for sure.

my baby sister is on a plane to india, as i blog. i ran to town yesterday to buy some baby clothes and accessories to send with her for my new grand niece. i bought some new born pink stretchies, a couple of little pink dresses, a hair band, a pair of striped socks, a package of fleese sheets with duckies, and a tiny pink fleese blanket with hearts. it is very hard to find baby clothes without animals on them. chabad has a custom of not wearing clothes with non kosher animals on them. bunnies, teddy bears, doggies, and horsies are all taboo. basically, that only leaves cows, chicks, duckies, and sheep.

i wanted to buy these very cute cow slipper socks for mendush but i was a bit afraid of the hired helpers there. you know how they revere cows there. i bought three packages of chanukah chocolate coins for mendush. i bought him one of the last remaining laizer draidels in town. it plays some really cheesey disco song. i also bought him a CD of the traditional children's chanukah songs. it may be the last day of chanukah but he can always listen to the CD.

i spent the morning yesterday at the old age center. it's a good thing that i showed up. they had a staff meeting and i had to babysat the group with a young volunteer. it really was not hard at all. i kept a chanukah tape playing the entire time. most of the group napped while the rest played dominoes. i did have to escort a few of them to the bathroom but thankfully, no one fell or disappeared on my watch.

the kids finally came down at 11:00 p.m. to light the chanukiah. that's okay as long as there are still individuals in the street who can see the lights. we tried on a couple of the sleepers and everything i bought for sahar, is too small. i'll have to exchange them next week. what a shame that i have to wait a whole week. but that's the life here in the middle east.

On The Sixth Night Of Chanukah

2010-12-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

it is 6:30 p.m. on the sixth night of chanukah in the holy city of zefat. we were blessed with a few drops of rain today. it is suddenly cold here. we have been both, enjoying summer like weather and suffering from the exreme dryness. we are all itching and walking around with dried and cracked hands.

last night i made a chanukah latke night for a select few. i had sahar with me all day long so i missed yoga. zvi was home with a stomach bug and couldn't cope with the baby. i hadn't had sahar with me for the entire previous week. i was recovering from a really bad flu and didn't really have the strength to take care of him. i missed him, never the less. his other grandmother wanted him with her all week long.

he really changed in just a week. he seemed less happy and more fearful. he was hard to please and he cried a lot more, than usual. i put together a house warming party for the kids on thursday night. i spent hours straightening up the laundry room, after i did all the laundry, to make it look like a family room. i set up all the tables and did my best to make it look festive. i made chocolate coins, chanukiahs and draidels for the kids. i bought some awesome, laizer draidels for the boys.

we needed a minyan( 10 men) and only got one at around 9:30 p.m. the meal was called for 7:30 p.m. i put a vat of mini potato berakas in the oven at around 6:00 p.m. earlier, i made a batch of fried bow tie cookies and smothered them in powdered sugar. i also bothered baking a coconut cake which never got touched. it's in the freezer.

i ran to the supermarket to buy berakas, cold cuts, drinks, chumus and olives and pickles. i made an israeli salad and cole slaw. i ran back to the local super because i forgot to buy the chumus in the large supermarket. of course, i bought more berakas, because i got paranoid that there weren't enough. gal's mom made pitas, potato salad and a large chocolate cake. a few of the neighbors came in with their wives, because we were searching high and low for a minyan. the couple of women that came, didn't eat anything. everyone was in shock over the disasterous fire that was still burning in haifa. the evening seemed so surreal. we all just stared at the flames on the t.v. news.

i had tons of cold cuts and berakas left over. i froze the cold cuts and brought the berakas over to my sister, the next day. she thought about bringing them to the shul for the daytime kiddush. it was the second anniversary of our mother's passing. i picked up my sister at 11:00 a.m. on friday morning and we went to visit her grave. i only stayed for about 15 minutes. i read some psalms, cried for a bit and left. i still had to buy the challahs and cook the shabbat meals. it's a good thing that i had the taxi wait for me. my sister stayed on and was stuck there a short while later, while there was a huge funeral procession for a local resident who had died in the fire. the street was blocked off to all traffic and she ended up walking a great distance back to town to get a taxi.

i watched sahar all day long on shabbat and again on saturday night. he cried for almost two hours while i tried everything to put him to sleep. he finally passed out in my arms. yesterday, he was in a much calmer mood. i think the 'ruckus' at the other grandparents' home is too much for him. here he gets to have some quiet time and some t.v. time. they are not that thrilled with his watching t.v. or his playing with the dogs. what can you do?

he seemed like his old playful and smiley self yesterday. he hardly cried and he slept for nearly three hours. thank the Lord! while he slept, i washed all the floors with buckets of soapy water. i made some applesauce and peeled the potatoes for the latkes. i also made a greek salad with diced cucumbers and tomatoes, olives and cubed feta cheese. i even managed to clean up the stove and the small kitchen area. i still hadn't cleaned up after the thanksgiving dinner i made.

i had to go out and buy eggs so i took him in the stroller when he woke up. i gave him some lunch and then gave him a bath and got him into his warm p.j's. he played nicely in his crib for a while and then i put the crib into the t.v area so he could watch his 'baby luli'. i asked one of my friends to come a little early to help watch him so i could fry up the latkes.

while he watched his show, i started to hand grate the potatoes. he was fine so i started frying up the latkes. i totally, forgot what a 'potchka' it is to make latkes. they take forever to fry up and the entire house gets smokey. i opened all the windows but it didn't help. i was simultaneously frying up potato latles and making little fried greek donut puffs. i was still frying latkes when the guests arrived. i usually have them made already, and warming in the oven. i was red faced and working hard. the house was reaking of fried oil. it was not my most shining hostess memory.

i quickly threw in some slices of eggplant to fry up in the remaining oil. i then sat down to join my guests. everyone loved the fried eggplant, donuts, greek salad and the home made applesauce. the latkes went pretty fast and i was apologetic that i hadn't made more. in the past, i would have marched back into the kitchen to fry up some more. i was tired. i made a batch of hot chocolate with steamed milk and added a jigger of rum for each cup. i topped it off with marshmallows. we had a very fancy chocolate layer cake for dessert, that someone bought.

everyone left at 8:00 p.m. and i watched sahar until 11:00 p.m. he fell asleep in my arms without crying. i carried him downstairs and put him in his crib. he went to his other grandmother today and i stayed in bed all day long. i think i have him tomorrow.

Shabbat Shalom

2010-11-26T01:16:00.000-08:00

it's 12:00 p.m. on erev shabbat. i never went to sleep last night. i got off the blog at 3:30 a.m. and i was over tired and way over stimulated to sleep. i was also cold and damp from washing the dishes. i didn't want to wake up the yorkies to get my bath robe so i went to sleep in my damp clothes. actually, i didn't go to sleep because i was shivering.

i got out of bed at 7:00 a.m. and mopped the floors. first, i let all the dogs out. i then got sahar and gave him a little breakfast and took him with me to the grocery to buy the challahs. he was playing nicely in the playpen while i started to make the meal. his mommy came home early and took hom downstairs. i got on the phone and shmoozed for nearly an hour and a half. i am too tored to stand up now.

i bought cookies and a cake so i don't have to bake today. it is going to be a simple meal because i am dreadfully tired. i defrosted some fish sauce from last week's meal and i will cook the tuna fillets in it. i am planning on broiling some chicken thighs in a sweet thai chili sauce and i am going to roast some potatoes and pumpkin in the oven.

i'll make the tomato relish that gal loves and a carrot salad. i'll make a baby leaf salad for zvi. i'll also make some egg salad for tomorrow. i forgot, i need to cook the beets, too. oh veh! shabbat shalom!!!!

Is That All There Is?

2010-11-25T15:01:00.000-08:00

it's 1:00 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just finished the washing up from our elaborate thanksgiving dinner. we were nine women sharing stories, company, sangria, and really good food.

noone came empty handed. mikimi brought 4 different salads. michal brought a vat of cranberry relish. danya made her 'to die for' chocolate chip, pecan cookies. she brought so many that i had to pull out mom's giant cookie jar that i've been storing high on a shelf. ruth brought an assortment of roasted nuts and a bag of designer gummies. i don't know how anyone eats these things. zvi and gal took the remainder downstairs. chaya tikva brought a lovely bottle of white wine. devorah leah brought a bottle of natural raspberry juice. leah brought a large container of natural almonds. judy brought her homemade egg nog and gave a devar torah.

how fortunate, that i just happened to have a bottle of baccardi to help 'spice' up judy's eggnog and spirits. i also was able to accomodate danya and turned her 'virgin' mary tomato juice into a full fledged bloody mary cocktail.

i tried everything but i couldn't really drink. i was having a headache and eye pressure from being sick and probably dehydraded. i spent the day watching sahar. he was rather passive for a change. he actually sat in his playpen for about 2 hours watching t.v. and playing with his toys. i brought him a bottle of milk and some bambas. he had already had his breakfast and was satiated.

i was in the next room doing the kids' laundry. i accidently washed zvi's national security photo identification card. it's ruined. i offered to pay for a new one but that didn't appease zvi, very much. what a shame! that little voice in my head told me to check all the pockets and i just didn't listen to it.

in the past, i washed his army identification card several times and nothing ever happened. i guess you're all wondering why i'm still doing their laundry. i just want to help them out and make their lives a bit easier, while i can. my mom did all our laundry until she was nearly 90. she was a laundry freak, anyway. she also loved to iron. that generation would iron underware.

anyway, sahar kept himself occupied until it was time to go outside and hang up the clothes. i came in to take him outside with me and discovered that sahar was soaking wet from the waste down. the sheet was also soaking wet. i couldn't imagine how he had pished so much. at first, i thought that i had forgotten to put on his diaper. it finally occured to me that he had simply, spilled out his milk while i was doing the laundry.

i quickly changed his clothing and went outside. the poor boy fell right on his chin and luckily, didn't get too hurt. he was playing on the ground and cloey dog was digging for something while i hung up the wet clothes. sahar was rubbing his eyes so i washed his really, dirty face and hands and put him in his stroller. he fell asleep immediately. while he slept, i went upstairs and made the sangria, waldorf salad, and steamed the green beans. i suddenly panicked and thought that there wasn't enough food to serve, so i steamed some fresh broccoli.

sahar slept for a long time so i did more laundry. this time it was mine. when he woke up he was really clingy. he didn't want to be put down at all. he only wanted to be in my arms. i had to hold him while i made coffee and while i made him his oatmeal. he had a banana while he sat in my lap but only managed to have a few mouthfulls of the oatmeal. i decided to give him a bath. afterall, there were women coming who had never seen him. he was a bit more active in the tub. afterwards, i turned on the t.v. once again. shame on me!

about an hour before the guests arrived, i took out the foods that needed to be reheated. i put the mashed sweet potatoes and roasted white potatoes in the pareve oven. i put the sausage stuffing in the small meat toaster oven. i heated up the barley and mushroom casserole on the stove and then put it on the electric hot plate. i also put the cooked carrots, pumpkin, fish and qinoa, green beans and almonds, on the hot plate. i then heated up the turkey and kept it on a low heat so the sauce really thickened and darkened.

the sangria was a big hit. the individual peanut butter mashed sweet potatoes was a hit. even though i worried about it, the corn bread was a hit. the pumpkin pie was not a hit. it looked like a pancake. i used the wrong size cake pan and it just didn't succeed. i had two slices and got a headache from the artificial whip cream. don't get me wrong, it tasted really good. in fact, i feel like having another slice right now but i don't want to risk another headache.

the jellied canned cranberry sauce from america was a hit. the string beans and almonds was a big hit. the mushroom and barley casserole served in the mimi pumpkin was a really big hit. it was really spicey. the roasted rosemary white potatoes was a disaster. they weren't fully baked. i would surely, have been kicked off 'top chef' for that blunder. this crowd wasn't a white potato crowd anyway. the aspic salad of carrots and pineapple was a big hit. it required a sohisticated palate. surprisingly, the waldorf salad was not a big hit. the artificial whip cream was a turn off for this crowd. they have serious health issues and no one wanted to risk it.

i originally, decided against the whip cream. i added a generous half a teaspoon of honey and sqeezed on an entire lemmon. i then thought about my pal michal, who really likes the salad with the whip cream, and i relented and added a few dallops. it was so sweet. i had some with my pumpkin pie and then got another headache.

the steamed broccoli was a hit. the biggest hit of the night was the sausage and sage dressing. go know! it was absolutely delicious. i can't believe it. it was my first attempt at making stuffing in isreal. i can't remember if i ever tried to in the states. oh, by the way, the turkey was definately, a hit. it was scrumptious.

i kept the dogs separated on two floors all day. i put the 3 smallest upstairs on the large porch and the troublemaker on the porch of the master bedroom. i didn't want to risk another attack with sahar around. i was up all night long checking up on the injured dog. she was fine today. it was a really hot 'summers' day. it didn't feel like a fall thanksgiving day at all. after the meal, michal snuggled on the t.v. couch with a couple of the mutts and that extra attention was sorely needed. they're all asleep and quiet.

the kids are here for shabbat. i have sahar until noon time. cooking will be a breeze compared to what i did on wednesday. believe it or not, i don't have any leftovers. i always prepare just enough for the meal. i do have the mexican corn salad left over because no one touched it. it was not a hit.

Let's Do Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T09:45:00.000-08:00

it is 8:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. tomorrow is thanksgiving. i have been in the kitchen and on my feet since 8:00 a.m. i have finished making the meal. i will steam up the string beans and make the waldorf salad tomorrow.

it was hard preparing the meal and dealing with my very runny nose. every time i sneezed or blew my nose, i washed my hands. and every time i tasted something, i washed the spoon with soap and hot water.

i'm afraid this virus is airborne. i really hate for my guests to catch it. i'll scrub the floors tomorrow. the pumpkin pie is in the oven as we speak. it is not my finest endeaver. i made an awful crust from rye flour. i didn't have any powdered ginger and i was too tired to go to the store. i thought about buying some margerine, to make a cookie crust but i simply couldn't budge. i was getting desparate, because i never, ever, use margarine on principle.

in the middle of my preparations, my sinuses got clogged up and i couldn't smell a thing. i also couldn't taste anything. earlier in the day, i ate an enormous portion of the mushroom barley casserole that i made. it was very yummy and very spicy! i carved out a small acorn squash to use as a serving dish for the casserole. how clever! i read that online.

i had to stop for a while because genie the yorkshire tried to kill roxy the yorkshire. i could not get her off of the tiny little roxy. she had her teeth sunk solidly into the dog. both cookie dog and cloey the pincher, tried to rescue the tiny roxy. i just checked in on roxy and she isn't doing well at all. i cleaned her cuts and rubbed arnica into her leg but she is really out of it now. i hope she isn't septic.

i think the dogs are hormonal. they want to go out at all hours of the night and we've been visited by a couple of local male doggie studs. this is not what i need right now.

the pumpkin pie doesn't look custardy. i used non dairy whipped cream and i think my error was whipping up the cream. it didn't turn brown until the end. in the past. i always used rice dream. milk. i threw in a few baked apples for those who don't like pumpkin pie.

i opened the 'shop rite' jellied cranberry sauce and it appeared to be okay. it's been over thirty years that i had any, so i don't remember what it is supposed to taste like. it definately tastes artificial. i hope it doesn't taste stale.

i will make a seperate waldorf salad for my vegetarian friend. she doesn't eat night shades or anything with flour. she also doesn't eat sugar. i will slice up an apple and celery, add some toasted almonds, and a few fesh dates. i'll just sqeeze lemon juice on it. i doubt that she eats the regular dried cranberries. they're loaded with sugar.

i made a couple of slices of nile perch for her. basically, i threw in a carrot, some celery, garlic and dried onion. i used dill, rosemary and parsley for the spices. i squeezed on some lemon and drizzled a bit of olive oil. i was afraid to use black pepper. it was definately, a challenge. i'm used to using paprika chiles,soysauce and tomatoes. i cooked up some plain quinoa for her and left it in the fish broth. it tasted pretty good.

she will also be able to eat the string beans and almonds that i will prepare tomorrow. i steamed some plain slices of acorn squash and tossed on some chopped peanuts. i saved a few plain, sliced beets for her and squeezed on lemon. i candied the rest of the beets with fresh ginger , honey and orange juice.

i want to make up a batch of sangria tomorrow. i made up some peanut butter mashed sweet potato cups. i topped them with chopped, toasted peanuts, some crushed pineapple and dried coconut. i lightly drizzled each cup with honey. i made very small portions of food. i oven roasted a few plain potatoes with rosemary for the non sweet potato people. i've never used that herb before. i decided that making mashed potatoes was over kill.

i cooked up some turkey wings and a couple of drumb sticks in an herb and white wine sauce. it smelled divine. i didn't taste it because i didn't want to become fleishig. i managed to make up a pan of sage, sausage turkey stuffing. i used kabobs and hamburgers, the turkey broth that i made the other day, and added some of the water from the cooked pumpkin. i sure hope it tastes okay. the dried challah cubes were perfect. i hope that my friend appreciates the effort.

i made a small dish of lemon and parsley cooked carrots. i made an aspic for the classic pineapple and shredded carrots salad. it was my first time using plain gelatin. i'm afraid that some of the gelatin became lumpy. the texture is a bit thick. so much for not buying the flavored gel. i simply, didn't want all the added sugar.

i made a 'mexican' style corn salad with scallions. green pepper and celery. i threw in a tiny bit of a chile. i covered it in a mustard mayo dressing. it is a bit hot. my corm bread did not come out great this time. i used a different recipe calling for more milk than usual. it is definately, more crumbly.

my mom made the same announcement before we sat down to eat every year. she would always start the meal by saying "everything that is supposed to be hot is cold and everything that is supposed to be cold is hot". one year, i decided to make the dinner by myself, turkey and all. i slaved away for hours. everyone sat down and devoured the meal in minutes. i was totally distraught!

i remember watching the movie, 'mighty joe young' on every thanksgiving. i wonder if they still show it in america. i know that they made a remake of that classic. i can still remember the scene with the leading lady playing 'beautiful dreamer' on the piano, on a revolving stage that the gorilla was actually, holding up.

tomorrow, it's wash the floors, steam the string beans, make the sangria, and the waldorf salads. i don't know if i have to watch sahar. i didn't make it to the seniors' this week. i'd hate to infect them with this virus.

i didn't hold on to any of the recipes that i downloaded on the net. i can always find new recipes. quite honestly, i wasn't all that impressed by them.

enjoy your thanksgiving and please remember to give thanks to the good Lord above.

Doing Preparations

2010-11-22T04:35:00.000-08:00

it's 2:30 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. it is only monday, but i've already started preparations for the thanksgiving meal. i made a corn bread and tossed some cranberries into the batter. the recipe called for buttermilk. i used rice dream milk, instead. i threw in a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar to compensate.

it didn't come out so great. the top is crunchy and the inside looks brown instead of yellow. the recipe called for whole wheat flour. i used rye. go know! it also is a bit sweeter than i usually make it. i only added four tablespoons of honey. i'll just put it in the freezer and hope for the best.

i put up a pot of turkey soup with tons of veggies and little turkey steaks. i am currently, suffering from a viral throat infection. it is hard to speak or swallow. i have this annoying, dry cough, too. unfortunately, it doesn't stop me from over eating.

i figure, that the turkey soup, like jewish penicilin, will soothe my throat and i'm sure the dogs will enjoy the bones. i want to reserve some turkey stock to make the sausage sage dressing for the turkey. i cut up the remainder of the huge challah from shabbat, into cubes, and toasted them in the oven. so little by little, i am getting prepared for thursday.

i already set the dining room table for thursday. i placed a small, squared, cream colored table runner with a leafy pattern, onto the middle of the gold colored table cloth. i put some golden acorns on the table, filled the straw turkey basket with miniature lemons, and filled a clear glass vase wwth rosemary, hyssops, and tea geranium from the garden. i also placed the acorn cardboard tea lamp holders shaped like mini xmas wreaths, that i bought in the dollar store, last year.

the date on the american, canned, whole cranberry sauce, expired in august. i'm planning on opening it and tasting it anyway. who knows? maybe it's still edible. one friend is planning on bringing a can of libby's canned pumpkin to place on the table for nostalgia. i am toying with the idea of preparing the chestnut soup that i made for the tu B'shvat sedar last year. it is purely, 5 star 'restaurantish' but perhaps. a bit over the top.

the vet is coming over to give cookie dog her third mange shot. she wants to give cloey one as well, as a preventative measure. i'm not so sure that i agree with that. the little yorkshires are running all over the place. cloey doesn't allow them into the inner sanction of our t.v. room. they love running about in the front yard. there's plenty of room and no escape route. the downstiars is not at all secure.

the problem is that these little gremlin look a likes, like to tinkle all over the place. although, they piddle in small amounts, they don't seem to miss a spot. i got up early and washed all the floors. i used a mop today. i was in no condition to throw buckets of water around. it wasn't warm today, either. i had to give roxie dog a bit of first aid because, genie dog attacked her and drew blood.

the kids just got back from their night out at a tsimmer. it was their second anniversary last week. sahar stayed over night at his other grandparents' home. i was, originally, suppossed to keep him here. i really, was not in great shape to chase after him for 24 hours. he slept through the night and didn't seem to be so concerned that his paarents weren't here. they have eight sets of hands over there so i guess, it was the logical choice. i tried not getting too emotional over it.

everyone seems to have their special thanksgiving requests and likes and dislikes. i'm making a seperate fish dinner for one friend who doesn't eat any wheat, night shades or sugar. i'm planning on steaming some fish with carrots, pumpkin and quinoa. i'll cut up an apple and some celery, throw in some walnuts, sprinkle it with lemon and call it a waldorf. voila!

i'm leaning towards making peanut butter mashed sweet potatoes. i'll save some plain for a friend who doesn't like her sweet potatoes, sweetened. i'll add crushed pineapple and a bit of honey to the rest of the yams. i wanted to make rosemary baked potatoes but i think that i'll stick to simple, mashed potaotes for the potato purests.

i'm still thinking about making a veggie jello mold. i want to bake some mushroom and barley pilaf inside a small acorn squash and use it as a serving dish. i'm still not sure about making the waldorf salad with non dairy whipped cream or not. i'm definately, going ahead with the pumpkin pie. i also want to bake some apples. i'll make one without the brown sugar for the diabetic in the crowd.

it's only monday, thank goodness. i realize that you can't please everyone all of the time. i have to do some more thinking about the menu, i guess.

Going Back To Sleep

2010-11-18T18:29:00.000-08:00

it's 4:30 a.m. on friday morning in the holy city of zefat. the yorkshire doggies just woke me up. i can't really say what they wanted. i had a horrible sensation that one of them died or got eaten by another one.

if i didn't have my own two dogs in bed with me, i would keep the 4 yorkies right next to my bed. they seem to have settled down a bit. they cried and yiped all through the night before. i didn't get much sleep.

my throat really hurts. i just goggled with hydrogen peroxide and water but it didn't help. that last carton of ice cream that i devoured, didn't sit right. neither did the bag of peanuts. when will i regain my self control? this over eating is really bad news.

i have to make shabbat meals today. i did most of my shopping yesterday afternoon. i went to volunteer with the seniors. all 10 seniors were there. there was also two other female volunteers. two young and very petite young 'chippies', as my mother would say. we had a mini concert with the russian lady with the platinum hair and another musical session when the rav came. it was a good day to visit.

the rav played some really good music to warm up and i then realized that the rav was a real musician. i had a new found respect for him. not only did he volunteer to come and speak to the seniors twice a week, he was an accomplished piano player. he then played the regular chassidishe set for a crowd of over 25 seniors. afterwards, one of the sephardi gentlemen sang piyutim for about an hour. the small crowd of sephardi seniors was very happy and self entertained.

i went to town later on to search for some sage and thyme. i actually found a bag of dried sage in the health food store but couldn't find thyme. i bought a bag of fresh and 'bug free' rosemary in the fruit store. i don't really know if rosemary and thyme are interchangeable but that's what i have to work with. i once had a small metal container of mixed chicken herbs and spices on my shelf for many years. it probably was a mixture of sage, thyme, rosemary, marjoram and savory.

i finally threw out the container years ago. i hadn't used it in years. i use mostly middle eastern spices these days. i make a mix of tumeric, coriander, cumin, cilantro, allspice, cinnamon and the occassional bay leaf. i think i'll cook the turkey legs and wings in white wine. i might make rosemary baked potatoes and sage and sausage apple turkey dressing.

i'm planning on making a small corn bread and maybe some orange cranberry muffins. i know it's probably over kill but i am going to make small portions of everything. i would love to start the thanksgiving preparations now, but the shabbat meals takes precedent. i am having 5 guests tonight. i still need to buy the challahs later today. i have everything else except for the ice cream because i ate it all. i am planning on making a cheesecake so we'll skip the ice cream.

i had great news yesterday. my niece in india, gave birth to a girl. mazel tov!. i started crying from joy and relief. i am also very saddened that i won't be seeing my niece in person. my sister already has her visa and is getting ready to travel. i don't think that i will be going to india any time soon.

i really have something to be thankful for this thanksgiving. my mother's second yirtseit is in another 13 days. i don't think that this new baby girl will be given her name. in the two years that mom has been gone, we've been blessed with 3 grandbabies. however, i am already feeling the profound loss again.

the house is smelling pretty doggie. i have to do a number on it later and buy some bottled air fresheners. i already defrosted the chicken and the beef livers. i want to make a batch of chopped liver for shabbat. i think i'll broil the chicken in bottled sweet chili sauce. i might even make a potato kugel tonight. we'll see how i feel when i actually wake up again.

i can't wait until i speak to my niece today. india is three hours ahead of us but i think that it might be too early to call her now. i'll call later on this morning.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-13T22:20:00.000-08:00

it's 8:20 a.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just got out of bed and did my new ritual of brushing my teeth with salt toothepaste made from baking soda. i then rinsed with hydrogen peroxide mixed with water.

my gums have been gushing blood again. after eating fruit for an entire week, you'd think that the vitamin c would have kicked in. apparently, not. i also blew my diet last night by eating almost an entire chocolate cake and half a bag of bambas. i don't know why i keep on sabotaging my efforts to lose weight. it seems that eating a bowl of oatmeal may have triggered my binge. i don't do well with carbs. i think i may need to go to OA.

we went out for shabbat meals together so on friday, i concentrated on cleaning up the apartment. i managed to bake a dairy chocolate cake between throwing lots of buckets of water around the house. it took me about 2 hours to finish the floors and clean off the counters. i really neglected everything last week to take care of cookie dog. i had dirty dishes all over the house.

she seems back to her old self except for her skin. it seems crusty in some places. she isn't scratching any more and genuinely, seems healthy. i have to admit that i didn't give her a skin treatment yesterday. i also didn't give her any prepared food. i saw that she was eating the dried dog kibble last night. i'll give her some tuna and eggs and slip in some echinacea later on.

the 4 yorkshire terriers are coming on wednesday so i have to get that room in order today. sahar went to his other grandma this morning, so i have the entire day to get it done. i was planning on going to yoga this morning. i figured that i had enough time to blog before i left. i then remembered that we started yoga at 8:00 a.m. this morning. oh well...

i got it in my head on thursday to make a thanksgiving dinner this year for friends. i then received an email from a pal, asking if i was making a meal and if she could come. i guess it was meant to be. thanksgiving was my parents' non jewish wedding anniversary that we celebrated each year. i started to fantasize a lot about recreating some of my mother's dishes.

mom always made string bean casserole with canned mushroom and barley soup and she topped it off with fried onion rings. that was her friend, edith's recipe. i doubt that they have frozen onion rings here. and forget about the canned soup. i have seen frozen breaded chicken rings, but it is just not the same. so, i went surfing on the net for basic batter recipes.

if i really want to get purist here, i can fry up my own onion rings and make a batch of soup. or i can serve crunchy string beans and almonds, and dish out a small serving of mushroom and barley soup on the side. i can also, just skip the soup all together. i seem to struggle with the candied yams casserole that mom always prepared, too. you know the one with the domino brown sugar, pineapple rings and miniature marshmallows. i want to go authentic mom 1950's but i also want to go healthy. i might just go with baked sweet potatoes topped with canned pineapple, and drizzled with a bit of date honey.

i actually found a recipe for a 1950's frozen fruit mold that called for cream cheese, mayonnaise, whipped cream, marshmallows and fruit cocktail. i remember seeing this concoction in a magazine, but i don't think that we ever made one. i think i'll go with a yellow jello carrot, celery and raisin salad mold. i doubt that i'll find lemon jello here. it might have to be apricot flavored.

we don't have whole turkeys here. they wouldn't fit in our tiny israeli ovens and cooking them on the stove just isn't the same. we do have ton's of turkey products. i haven't decided whether to make cutlets, meatballs, thighs or roulade yet. we'll see what's available in the supermarket next week. mom always made individual potato kugelettes. i might just do that. i'll buy some little aluminum muffin tins. of course, for the desert, i want to make a pumpkin pie. mom never, ever, made one. i can't really remember what we had for dessert.

i bought a can of real american cranberry sauce last year. it's somewhere in my closet. i sure hope it's still good. a few years ago, i made cranberry muffins with dried craisins. at one point in time, cranberries were impossible to find. i plan on making cornbread. that's also something that mom never made. you can't find the libby's canned pumpkin here, either. you have to buy a hunk of pumpkin and cook it up and mash it. i'd love to make pumpkin soup and pumpkin muffins also, but i really have to chose one pumpkin dish.

a few years ago, i watched martha stewart's thanksgiving theme show. what a pity they took it off the air, here. i really loved it. i especially, loved watching her make jewish dishes, like potato latkes. she smothered them with sour cream and caviar. it was so sickening! she also dalloped her peroges and stuffed cabbage with sour cream too. her mispronunciation of the jewish dishes was priceless.

i'm so excited that i will finally get to use my straw turkey bread holder and turkey napkins this year. i'm thinking about serving sangria. the trees are full of oranges and tangerines. i want to buy fresh corn too, but i don't know if that's over kill or not. we shall see.

Stigmas

2010-11-08T05:49:00.000-08:00

it's 4:00 p.m. in the holy city of zefat. i just turned down the prospect of a night out, participating in a bagel bake off and watching a new woody allen movie. besides being nervous about leaving cookie dog alone, i'm only eating fruits this week and i've been 'off' woody allen for years now. i think that he is a self hating jew and i refuse to support his latest efforts.

i went to the seniors' day center this morning. i really didn't want to leave the house. i'm taking care of sahar tomorrow and i figured that this might be my only chance this week to get out. i didn't want to get there too late so i splurged on a taxi.

to my surprise, they were having a rosh chodesh party in the large dining room. they had live entertainment and i got to hang with my 'buddies'. some of the women danced but i held myself back. i don't dance in front of men. especially, old men. i did move around the room and clap my hands very rigorously. that got a marked response from the crowd.

before i left for the center, i cleansed cookie's wounds and massaged the almond oil/lavender mixture into her mangey eaten flesh. i also hand fed her some canned tuna, scrambled eggs and sour cream and bread. i doctured all of that with some probiotic and vitamin c. i even chopped up some raw garlic for the tuna. she ate a bit and actually, went downstairs for a bit. her noise was less dry than yesterday and i think her fever went down.

i think cloey dog knows instinctively, to keep her distance from cookie. we all three did sleep together on the t.v. couch, but we didn't touch. i think that the itching might also be getting relieved. i didn't find wads of hair all over the floor this afternoon, when i returned. the vet just called to check up on cookie. what an angel! i also spoke with a local homeopath on the phone last night. he was so kind to discuss alternative treatments for free.

cookie's nose is cold again. thank the Lord! it is so hard to stress out over pets. i feel so useless at times. i do try to read up on the traditional treatments to understand the process but i prefer to supplement them with homeopathy. i am a firm believer but i am not a fanatic. i do think though, that in the case of traditional medicine, less is enough.

the vet is planning to come at the end of the week to give cookie another shot against mange. the problem is that it sometimes returns even stronger afterwards. that is very typical after treating ailments with cortisone. the cortisone kills the symptoms but doesn't treat the root cause. i will be so glad when this is finally behind us. i feel a sense of shame. you know, the stigma of having a 'mangey' dog. you conjure up thoughts of abuse and neglect. you would never imagine a dog living the good life in a villa would end up in this condition.